4 and 5, but still no 1 :outs::

Anyway, excellent! (Oh, if you would rather, I could mummble on each individual page..) I really liked the poetry (was that poetry? The verse..) in chapter 4, it had a wonderfully dark feel to it.

My suggestion for 5 (and it was very well done, with that same flow and dark sing-song feel to it) is to break up some of the dialogue (I am guilty of doing this too, will go on for 3 pages without a action) with some actions as I find that people tend to get lost (I had no problems, but then, I like to write that way LOL) with that much dialogue without actions to help make it personal and to keep them on track with who is talking.

Oh, and thanks for stopping by and reaching the first chapter of Children of the Storm, I love it when people leave me feedback

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "Thanks again for commenting! Hrrmmm....I'll have to go back to my desk and look for that chapter, I usually print them out to edit them. I'll have to check that out because I think I was already trying to find a way to fix that problem. I still have to read some more of your chapters, so I beeter get moving on it!"

AWESOME!!! Absolutely love blood vengeance and look forward to reading more...if you write any more that is and you better you can't just leave us hanging like that!!

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "Thanks for commenting on my page! Appreciate the compliment and yes, I do intend to put the rest of it up if I ever get the patience to do so. "

Hey! awesome stories. Very gripping. Could you possibly put up Chapter one of Carnival? I felt a little lost coming in at chapter 2... but it's awesome. I especially can't wait to hear about how Sade deals with her tasks from Teo. eeeheee, great writing!

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "Thank, sorry for the chapter one fiasco, I have to rewrite the ENTIRE chapter because my stupid computer won't upload it. *pouts*"

OMG!...blood storys are dang good!!..you should post more...i want to readddd ^_^

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "Thanks..."

What happened to chapter 7? and still no 1? ::hands on hips:: This just wont do!

hi. for some reason, I feel I should say this. please don't think me odd for doing so.

everyone has a purpose. some people just don't know it yet. it is all part of our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness for us that we are here. our life started before out mortal journey,and they will continue afterwards into eternity. (and no, I am not in any way refering to reincarnation--that is ridiculous) don't ever give up on yourself--just remember you are a child of God and you can do anything. everyone has a purpose, it is up to you to discover what it is, but God (and sometimes others in yourlife) can help you find it.

me

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "I am quite sorry to say this, but I am agnostic. I believe there is something out there, but I do not have a religion to call my own. I actually do believe in reincarnation because I think the chances of me landing my butt in heaven are minimal and it's comforting to think after this life I may have another. Hey, not an insult, but I believe what motivates me to believe-sometimes I believe in "our heavenly father" and sometimes I don't. Who's to say the truth about religion when the Bible was written and rewritten by men? I'm done ranting, but I'm capricious when it comes to religion. "

Jessica I love you and im sorry i havent written!! ME SO BUSY!!!! I'm in the school play Hello Dolly! and we have rehersal almost everyday. IM READING MORE OF YOUR STUFF!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "You want to hear the funny news? I'm rewriting all of both books, so these have become totally useless. (I told everyone that they were only rough drafts) If you happen to be nice and send an email to my email address so that I can use the current one your using, I'll email everything to you sometime so you won't have to be online to read it. Tell everyone I said hi and that I still miss that pierced boy from the track meet. (I want his nude picture!)"

jessica, i have told him and he doesnt remember you!...giggles....ha! I must have new stories!!! DROOOLLLL
The guys are so hot! ssry, i have a bf, i shouldnt be saying that! **but we all know that ALL girls DREAM!! hahahahahah...okay, yeah, it is late,
you know what i think about your stories! EXQUISITE!!!!! LoVE YOU LOTS!!! AND ILL EMAIL YOU AS SOON AS I CAN GET ON!!! **SHOULD NOT be on right now!****hahaha! bye!
love
Ebony

ummmmm.... i looked @ ur stories and were's Carnavel chapter 1 ) if i spell nething wronge just shoot me JK JK) lol

Jessica J. Pateidl replies: "I had a cuss word in it that they caught. "