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Jamie Foley

"The Upside-Down Palace - Part 1" by Jamie Foley

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This is my attempt at a fairy tale. It tells of young Prince Julian and his quest for the Upside-Down Palace. I've told it in first person, which isn't my normal style, and as this is just a beginning I'd like opinions on whether I should continue or if it's just too cliche.
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←- Foresight: An Interview | As A God - Part One -→

The Upside-Down Palace

*********************

 

Part One

 

            Of fairy tales there are many; tales of woe and loss, and of bravery and showmanship.  It seems that countless legends are told of men and women who overcome great odds and, in standing before the vast chasm of eternity, mark their place upon its rim before plummeting into the forever beyond.  And yet, for all those tales and whispered rumours, for all the songs of life and love, there is but one tale which tells of young Prince Julian and his Upside-Down Palace.  But this solitary tale, going often untold, is one which is perhaps amongst the greatest of them all, for it is amongst those few which speak of truth.

            I met Prince Julian in a sunlight filled glade some years ago.  He stood knee-deep in a shallow pond, his boots resting on the grassy knoll and his trousers rolled to keep them dry.  In those first moments he stood so absolutely still I mightn’t have seen him at all if I hadn’t been looking for just such a figure in just such a place.  But there he was, the prince of princes, gazing at his reflection with some interest.  He seemed so innocent in that moment, so naive.  And he so reminded me of Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Grey that for a time afterwards I indeed wondered if he would share a similar fate.  Of course I came shortly to correct my misconception, as I also came to understand the difference between the majesty of wealth and that of leadership.  Indeed, it was also during this time that I grew to comprehend the mystery which was the Upside-Down Palace.

            Now Prince Julian, a boy of indefinite age and background, was on the very day I came upon him just setting out upon one of the legendary quests which princes such as he often found themselves embarking.  His steed, a feisty roan mare with the most arrogant turn to her chin, danced an impatient jig near the shore of the pond with seeming indifference to the saddlebags weighing at her sides.  Perhaps she knew of the quest and was eager to see it commence, but more likely she seemed the type eager to be seen in the presence of a prince such as Julian.  Truly, I immediately accessed this mare as the most pretentious creature I had ever seen, and that was saying a great deal.  However, who are we to speak of the noble steed of our fair prince except as the most exemplary of creatures?  And so I imagine dear Julian saw her, for never once did he speak to her except in the most tender of tones.

            These are the moments I remember most of Julian, for it was here in this sunlit glad that he marked my soul with his first glance and first smile and first words.  I had up until then convinced myself that actions and not persons were the epitome of greatness, and how terribly wrong I was in that.  I know differently now, for in Julian I saw that the greatness in his actions was only an iota of the greatness he himself exuded.  In fact, it could hardly matter less what quest this boy undertook, where he travelled, or to whom he spoke.  It was the intangible in his very soul which fashioned tangible excellence into his every footstep.

            He turned to me that day, as though he expected my arrival, and offered a lop-sided smile.  “Why do you suppose it’s blue?” he asked, his first words to a stranger.  He was asking about the sky actually, though he stared intently at the water reflecting it.  “Is it arbitrarily blue? or is the sky simply trying to reflect the water and the water attempting to reflect the sky?”

            Innocent; that was my value judgement of him before he could speak again.  Innocent and ignorant.  But then I had to question myself.  Was this a boy asking a childish question or a man attempting to clarify a misconception?  For I knew without doubt that the uneducated peasantry did not produce words such as ‘arbitrary’ in everyday conversation.  And so, rather than sneer at a childish question, I answered him to the full of my knowledge.  I spoke in my most cultured tone, raising my chin and making gestures which could and were often misinterpreted, and feeling rather superior to the boy before me; a mistaken feeling in retrospect.

            “And do you suppose there’s a purpose for it’s being blue?” he asked when I’d

finished. 

            I paused.  How do you answer such a question?  In absolute truth, if I could answer a simple question having to do with purpose, then I should be able to answer other similar questions.  If that was true, I could add all these answers together and know the secret of the universe, the purpose to life, the answer to the greatest question of all.  And yet, by backward induction if I didn’t know this great answer then how could I possibly answer a seemingly innocent one?

            “I don’t know,” I finally and rather unwillingly answered, feeling suddenly less like a scholar and more like a man.

            “Splendid!” he replied, accompanying the exclamation with a smile which turned my uncertainty to pride.  “I wouldn’t want to travel with anyone that did!  I don’t really think there is an answer at all.”

            “Travel?”

            “Of course,” he laughed; a bell-like chime.  “We’re embarking upon a grand adventure this very afternoon to save a devastatingly beautiful princess from the wiles of a wicked sorcerer.”  He spoke with such conviction while carefully making his way to shore and finally coming to stand before me.  His grin was infectious. 

“Really?” I asked, wondering if such adventures really existed.

            “No.  It’s actually much  more complicated than that.”  He proffered his hand, a seemingly innocent gesture dripping with symbolism.  “Shall we go?”

            And I, the scholar and the man and today, a storyteller, not truly knowing what I was doing, took young Prince Julian’s hand and let the adventure being.  And I remember asking, “where are we going?” though I knew in those first moments I would follow him to the ends of the earth.

            “To seek an impossible dream,” he replied.  “To find the Upside-Down Palace.”  And that was exactly what we would come to do, though it was a much more difficult task than I imagined in those first moments.

 

End Part 1

←- Foresight: An Interview | As A God - Part One -→

DateNameComment 
27 Mar 2004:-) Marie Thorsen
Lets see..you ask if you should continue this story or if it too cliche. I think many people are so terrified with cliches that they do everything in their power to avoid them and thereby completely ignoring their uses. In my eyes, cliche is a great tool for irony, one which you use yourself when the Prince tells us that they are going to rescue a fair maiden in distress. Also, by letting the story-line seem so openly cliche you allow the reader (and the writer?) to focus on other things, as the reflections of the scholar. In my eyes, it looks like you are introducing a philosophical tale more than you are a fairy tale. Like The Little Prince. Ah, that reminds me - I would not call it a fairy tale. It gives the reader some expectations to the story I am not certain you intend to uphold. I would much prefer a "tale" alone.

I think you should definitely write on. You are setting up a wonderful mood and to be honest, I am quite curious about what an upside-down-castle is. And even if it should turn out too cliche, at least you will have practiced your skill in writing a completely different style and tone than usually and I should be very surprised if not this story would inspire another. If nothing else, then in the spirit of trial and error 2

:-) Jamie Foley replies: "Thank you for your comment. I actually really enjoyed writing this, and I was hoping to continue it. When I speak of fairy tale, I was hoping to provide a similar ambiance to the story, though it would not necessarily be a typical tale. And I agree entirely with what you said about cliches--taking them to the extreme often provides a most powerful tale. I suppose then I shall have to continue, and lead you to understand what the Upside-Down Palace is. Here's a clue...anyone read Hemmingway?"
1 Apr 2004:-) Ute Fuerst
Julian is, like it is said in the story, one of those pure and innocent characters.
However I believe that he is more, or you make the reader believe that he is, actually, the answer that everyone is somehow seeking secretly, the answer as to how a life should be lived in contented inner fulfillment.
Of course I might be interpreting something completely different to what you had in mind, but that's what came to my mind.
I read Hemingway, but I also read Simon R. Green, Blue Moon rising. Upside down places are a nice change from the normal.
As for cliche, I have to agree with above comment. Use it in the way you have. It doesn't grow old as long as your characters stay young. We readers, we like to know what to expect, and like even more to be enrichened with sudden enlightenment if the unexpected happens, or a character reveals such depths and inspiring thoughts.
I'm certainly going to have that "Is there a purpose for it being blue" question rambling around in my mind, just in the same way the question about the "one hand clapping" did in my time...
I'd be interested in reading more about this. It's a nice scenery you create in the mind, and a challenging read.

2 Jamie Foley replies: "Simon Green and Hemingway, eh? Have never heard those names together, but I have to agree they're both great authors for their genre! I liked Blue Moon Rising a great deal, it was very, very funny! I hadn't though about it when I wrote this story though. Honestly, I was thinking of Oscar Wilde's Dorian Grey when I first wrote Julian, as well as one of Hemingway's many novels with regards to the Upside-Down Palace. I'm glad you liekd it though, but I'm afraid I can't give too much away in comments. You'll just have to read more to find out just how much depth dear Julian possesses. =) "
8 Apr 2004:-) Charly Strawberry
Wow! I really liked the story! At first I was feeling a bit reluctant because of such a 'classic', almost archaic feel it has to it and; as I'm so ignorant, I like to shy away from that kind of thing. But it was really nicely written and fun to read.

Something that I noticed - You should try getting rid of unneeded auxiliary verbs/intensifiers in some places. They give quite an authentically 'old' feel, but can also just stop the flow of the reading. For example, 'in just such a place' and 'he so reminded me'. It sounds a bit awkward to me.
Also, I think you may have put 'Sunlit glad' and meant 'sunlit glade'?

I love some of the descriptions and mental imagery you create - Especially of the horse; she is so realistic in my head. And the whole arrogance thing is great, completely imaginable.

Going back to the whole cliche thing, I agree with Marie - I think the way you've written it stops it from becoming something that's tired/predictable, especially with this line - 'We’re embarking upon a grand adventure this very afternoon to save a devastatingly beautiful princess from the wiles of a wicked sorcerer'. Love it. ^_^ And it definitely gives a more of a parody-feel than a cliche. Which is always good. And maybe you could play on that in the next chapter?

Love the ignorant questions. They also seem very real, reminds me of children that ask these impossible things and then just keep repeating, "Why?", "Why?", "Why?". Lovelyee.

Well done, Jamie! Cool-cool-cool.

:-) Jamie Foley replies: "Wow! Thanks for the excellent comment! I'm always so impressed that people take time to think about what I've written, and you certainly have done so. Thank you!With regards to cutting phrases, I have to agree with you. I write a great many rather convaluted papers for school in which it's quite necessary to be overly wordy as it shows how much more academic we students are...however it tends to draw over into my creative writing, which isn't necessarily a good thing. I really should probably think about cutting a great deal more =) In fact, I'm already thinking of editing this piece and putting it back up with a few changes. We'll see, summer begins in 2 weeks so I'll give it a close look-over then. Hopefully I'll have chapter 2 up shortly thereafter."
22 May 200445 John 'Cymru' Bagwell
*looks at the other comments*
Awww ... they've already said most of what I was going to say.
You don't see many things written in first person, do you? Most people tend to avoid them - out of all the books I've read I can only think of three, four of them that were done like that.
You've done something different, and you've done it very well.

:-) Jamie Foley replies: "Wow! Thank you, John!!! What a lovely compliment! And I agree entirely. Though I have read a great deal of writing in first person (many classic authors tended to choose that stance), I've found it very rarely done well. I'm so happy to think that I might have been able to pull it off as well!"
11 Nov 2004:-) Meghan Brownjohn
I don't know if the entire thing sits right, for instance or out of curiousity why would the scholar just up and go with the prince? why was he looking for him? If the scholar was indeed under the princes command then wouldn't he be a little less arrogant about the answering of the question, of course that could just be the testosterone. But once again, that's just me 2 good work! Yeah good work a standing ovation for a master of writing!

:-) Jamie Foley replies: "Interesting thoughts! I'm considering revamping this in the future as I work on the second instalment. It was something I wrote during finals to avoid economics for a few hours and now I'd like to sit down and spend a bit more time on it. I know where it's going, I just want to get it halfway there in the next few weeks. =)"
7 Oct 200545 Christabel Nolan
and by the way, Charly STrawberry (what a wonderful name) wrote something about cutting back on auxilary verbs or something? DON'T. It suits the style. anything too modern would detract from its charm, of which it has a great deal.... (have you noticed that I liked it?)

13 Jamie Foley replies: "I have very much noticed you liked it! I think that'll keep me smiling all morning! And don't worry about the wording too much, if anything the piece I'm working on right now is going to have folks running for their dictionaries! (highly probable...) I think those extra words, sometimes though they do need to be cut, can often drive a concept or clarify a sceen. And to some extent, that's the style of my writing and I'm a little fickle about changing certain things.

Thanks so much for returning and reading all this! I really enjoyed reading your comments!"
7 Oct 200545 Christabel Nolan
OH!! I do not often say this, but you simply MUST write more of this. I love the way that we just come upon Julian, standing in the pond with his trousers rolled up. And I adore the way that he puts forth the adventure. It is cliche, but that in itself is not a bad thing. let me clafiry - to write this tale of the wicked sorcerer etc with a pretentious tone, as many do, would be cliche. Boring cliche. And I would not read it. But the way in which this is written is so refreshing. The simultaneous innocence and eloquence. Words cannot fully convey how much I was captivated by this story. You MUST I repeat MUST continue. And tell me when you do. Please...

12 Jamie Foley replies: "Wow! You make me want to jump on Word and start writing at this very moment! I'm really glad to see you understood Julian's character and my intentions so well! ...you must be very smart, since I enjoy being ever so subtle!

Since you asked, I think I'll have to come back to this story as soon as I'm finished with the one I'm writing right now. We'll have to see what happens to my young prince in the time to come, eh? "
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'The Upside-Down Palace - Part 1':
 • Created by: :-) Jamie Foley
 • Copyright: ©Jamie Foley. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dragon, Fairytale, Julian, Palace, Prince, Princess, Scholar, Seeks
 • Categories: Dragons, Drakes, Wyverns, etc, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 269

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