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James ´Jimbo Fett ´ Inwood

"Demon (Updated)" by James ´Jimbo Fett ´ Inwood

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 14 by James ´Jimbo Fett ´ Inwood.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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First ever story I did on Elfwood. Grammer should flow much better than it used to.
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←- Wight. Chapter three. | Diary Of A Deity -→

Beyond time, beyond sanity and beyond this world lies the Nether realm; the destination of life and the beginning of eternity. It is the dwelling place of spirits waging war against each other in the cosmic battle of good and evil.

So it is no coincidence that mortal souls just happen to be the most valuable resource in this never ending conflict.

 

 

The demon stared up at the ceiling from his iron throne. His two heads: one with fanged human features, the other a drooling horned cat; both scowled at the long wait that he was forced to endure before his underlings returned.

Hopefully they would have some good news; it would be most unfortunate for them if they hadn’t followed his orders.

Looking around his ornate throne room; complete with tapestries of flayed cherubim hide; depicting scenes which pleased the demon incredibly: the destruction of his enemies.

In the Nether realm evil fights amongst itself with as much hatred as it battles the forces of good. As a result the forces of darkness rarely work amongst each other without the promise of something in return other than intimidation and threats.

The demon Arazzg had already made hundreds of enemies (most of them he had already dispatched) in his millennia long advancement through the ranks of evil. Since his ascension to the coveted position of a major demon he had grown more paranoid and ruthless.

With a new and more terrifying visage and his own little corner of the Nether World that was complete with lesser demons to rule over; he had already conceived notions of grandeur. Now if only he could find some sort of tool or weakness that he could exploit his enemies with?

Ironically the answer lied within the mortal world.

Deep within a warm tropical region lived an immensely powerful being that had somehow managed to enter the mortal world without the means of magic, it seemed as if this being did not need it to cross the gap between the Nether and the Mortal world.

Despite all it’s power the creature was strangely fond of a particular medicine man that lived alone in the jungle. Arazzg knew all this because at that time he was forced to serve the very same medicine man, which though he was a frail old man, he was also an extremely powerful spell caster.

Much too powerful for Arazzg to disagree with he remembered with a shudder, demons do not like servitude especially towards a mortal human.

What happened next to the old man took Arazzg by surprise: during a particularly challenging spell that Arazzg was forced to watch; the old man failed to prepare the correct safety measures that protected him from the dangers of the Nether World.

A mistake that cost the man his life and sent Arazzg hurtling back to the deepest pit of the Nether World.

He never did found out what happened to his old master (not that he cared) but it was obvious, that the fool lost control of the inter dimensional portal and was slain by one of its inhabitants. One that wasn’t too keen on being summoned by a human.

But what concerned Arazzg the most was the location of the spirit that he had worked alongside with, it was some sort of spectre that had chosen to reside within a piece of bamboo cane that was studded with emeralds on each hollowed end. A peculiar place for such a being to live in Arazzg reasoned; but nonetheless the thing must possess power to cross unaided by magic to the Nether world.

It could make a useful ally Arazzg mused.

Being banished back to the Nether World after his master lost control of the portal threw a snag in his plans for conquest. He could not gain access to the mortal world were the spirit dwelled without a master to conjure him.

A familiar rattle rang in Arazzg sensitive hearing which his feline features granted him. It was his minions scuttling across the black carpet leading to Arazzg’s iron throne.

The five imps stood in front Arazzg eyeing him with a mixture of fear and excitement.

“Well?” Arazzg hissed.

“We hash da location of the sspirit mashtar!” Exclaimed one of the imps.

“Yesh but…wesh…couldn’t get there lord.” muttered another imp.

“Imbeciles! Of course I know you couldn’t get there” growled Arazzg. “Any way, the spirit does not have a master so hopefully we can convince the esteemed one to join our cause and travel to my domain.”

“Yesh mashtar! Fantashhtic plan! But…but only one ssshlight problem…” it stuttered. The poor little imp which had obviously been tricked into breaking the bad news by the other devious imps.

“What….Speak up!” Roared Arazzg foreseeing yet another snag caused by his incompetent minions.

“Da…duh…sshpirit has a new mashter…ah a…mortal….”

The imp never got the chance to finish, as Arazzg in a fit of rage had torn the poor little creature in half using his own two heads.

←- Wight. Chapter three. | Diary Of A Deity -→

DateNameComment 
12 May 2005:-) Kim Schoonover
GAGTTHHATHA?!!!!
what, cant you people read through you stories and check the grammar?
I swear, this makes nikki look good!

why do I have this sudden wanting for ground imp on toast?

anyway, besides grammaticals, i really liked it.

6 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Awww come on it can't be that bad...this WAS my first ever piece on elfwood! Glad you like it though!"
15 Jun 2005:-) Ruth 'Cookie Monster' Browne
Hoy! I read back there that you like the cookie monster. Is it true? *peers at you suspiciously*
*I* am the cookie monster! I have always been, am, and always will be the cookie monster!! *offers u her hand for kiss of homage* Serve me, and you will be blessed with a multitude of cookies. Choc chip, of course.
lol, that aside, good story. You say you were sick when you wrote it? That explains all the fused sentences and comma splices (grammatical errors; are they fixed in Wight story?). You want to know what those are, then ask. I'll tell you if you're interested, but this comment is getting way too long...... eep.

*cookie_monster*

9 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Eh....were'd I say that...my childhood toy WAS cookie monster but more on that later. Yes I was recovering from Colitis which I had all last spring....nasty thing....very ill and slightly depressed. Thanks for reading this my mate! "
4 Jul 2005:-) Rebecka Champion
Heeehee flayed cherubim hide, my favourite decor, fits in perfectly with my iron maiden and collection of dragon sculls......*realises that she infact does NOT live in her fantasy world but that there is actually a real world. A real world in which her room is pink* Grumble grumble I want flayed cherubim hide and black carpets!! *shakes fist at demon* This is great, very funny as always, love the little minions! remind me of the Orcs in the Lord Of The rings films with their dodgy cockney accents. Except that they were bad and stupid, and your minion people's voices are funny. *Sigh* cockney accents and maggoty bread....a sure-fire way of ruining a good film.....
Keep up the good work you hear! Or I'll come after you with my army of demonic cabbage men!! 14

:-) James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Heh...well at least YOU didn't mention the pure shite grammer that is obvious in this story (and Gladiator!) Cockney accents? They were from New Zealand...the indigenous people y'know? Wanna good read? Go read Wight."
4 Jul 2005:-) Dabao 'The Monkey' Jia
Me likes this story. Me thinks mortal master good idea. Me thinks u should write more stories like this. Me thinks that would amuse me.

12 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Way ahead of you pal."
14 Jul 200545 Jennifer Russo
I'll be honest with you--I don't normally read Wyverns' stories because, well, most of them are crap. So that's why I didn't visit your page for so long even though I've seen you linked from almost every gallery in the woods.

But--wow. You surprised me. Your stories aren't as fluffy as most Wyvern's writers. You get to the point(s) quickly and your descriptions of vivid without being overbearing. Very, very good. (=

3 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "I must be getting famous! Thank you very much! "
6 Aug 2005:-) Gabs Béland
Ooo...
Yes. i like this. I like how you described the demon,...its about time that there is a demon that isnt "handsome, with a tiny bit of stubble, and sexy, leathery pants, showing off his most excellent posterior..."
good job, is there any more?

1 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Or a sucubbi with a fabalous chest. Hehehe thanks for looking, I'm sorry but I'm not doing any more. I might do some more stuff featuring demons though. "
16 Nov 200545 Melanie 'Ginger Snap' Wood
*trumpet blast*

Welllll, look who finally made it in. The Coffee Goddess!

*looks at name*

Correction! The Ginger Snap, uh, person.
I'd point out the grammar in this, but I see that about 20 others have beaten me to it, so I'll leave it alone. Nothing like whipping a dead horse, is there? Left me hanging at the end! Really good! Is there more? *show host voice* Stayed tuned to find out. *end voice* But what caught my attention was your reply to someone that you had colitis. I really feel for you there, buddy. My cousin had it, had it in a horrible way. So my heart goes out to you for that. Hope it's all better for you now.

1 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Hehehe, yeah, this was the first lot of stuff that I uploaded on Elfwood back in the haze of 2004 summer, so the grammar you see now isn't as bad as it used to be - I hope. Nah, sowy, I'm not doing any more of this little ditty, thanks for stopping by!"
18 Dec 200545 Blade 'Bush = Hitler' Marilyn
:| You should read the Bartimaeus Trilogy.

And also this once book that I forgot the title too. About this one boy. Who gets his town destroyed. And like, gets all powerful. With a dragon. And there are dwarves. I forgot the title to it. And there's this one cat. OH! Eragon, that's it. You should read the Bartimaeus Trilogy and Eragon, I think you'd like them.

6 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "Um...how shall we say this, my friend gave it a good review, it went something like this: "It's so cliche-ridden. You can write better than him!" So no Eragon for me - that's the reason why I don't like David Eddings much."
24 Feb 2006:-) Kaeli Grotz
I really have to stop writing such long comments if I plan to get through much tonight. Admittedly I did have to go look up colitis on wikipedia and it took me a good few minutes to recover from that. Just a small portion of how I felt when I got diagnosed. Anyway, I like it, the character has so much potential, but it just ends so abruptly. I hope there was to be more? No, sorry. Show no mercy, girl! “Looking around his ornate throne room; complete with tapestries of flayed cherubim hide; depicting scenes which pleased the demon incredibly: the destruction of his enemies.” Colon colon semicolon. I spy over-punctuation. And it’s not a full sentence either, no main clause.

“Now if only he could find some sort of tool or weakness that he could exploit his enemies with?” Hmm, despite the question mark I don’t think that’s a question.

“Ironically the answer *lied* within the mortal world.” Lay perhaps?

Your punctuation is wrong with the reported speech, it’s fixable, look for the mistakes and if you can’t find them, ask me to point them out, I’m too lazy to now.

13 James 'Jimbo Fett ' Inwood replies: "No, you're right, and I can most likely spot them now, my grammar was awful when I wrote this, but cheers for reading mate!"
23 Aug 2006:-) Dragonflies2
*looks nervously at the two heads of the demon. Pats own kitty cat a teensy bit more carefully now. Nervous smile* And that my friend, is why I am a dog person - though cats are pretty awesome animals

ah grammars not that important as long as you get the story in there. Though it does embarress me Though i'm not quite sure how you manage to write sentences...With out them actually being a sentence. *applauds* you must be very talented if you can do that *nods* That bad!? O_O

anyway lol onto the story! Your first ever elfwood story? *glances grumpily at own first elfwood story and then compares. Sighs* No, this story sucks, I'm only keeping this out of soppyness

i like the whole heirarchy thing, and that the more powerful they get, the more paranoid (and rightly so) they get. And i like how you say that the demons hate eachother as much as they hate good. Because some people forget that and have the army of demons or whatever working happily together. Which rather makes them less evil, wouldn't you say?Indeed, they are self-serving bastards. However, writing about "Evil" as if it were not an abstract concept seems to annoy the more.....shall we say...postmodern writers? Hmm well anyway.

Lovely descriptons and i think you have the atmosphere just right. The only thing i would recommend is using the other senses to describe as well. Maybe you could have the crack of whips or the moaning of damned souls playing a constant harmony, or a sharp smell of sulphur mixed with the smell of burning flesh...Or maybe he's in a nice part of the underworld. *shrugs* tis your story. Ahaha, he's in the cushy part of hell 1 Thanks for the suggestions mate, I'll be round some time to read some of your writings.
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'Demon (Updated)':
 • Created by: :-) James ´Jimbo Fett ´ Inwood
 • Copyright: ©James ´Jimbo Fett ´ Inwood. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Demon, Horror, Scary
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders..., Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 437

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