|11 Jan 2005|| D Joelle Duran|
Well, I'll admit the theme for Wyvern's Project 4 didn't appeal to me in the slightest...but despite my prejudice, you wove a beautiful and entrancing tale here. I especially enjoyed the 'frame' that introduced both the scout and the bridge of Ephrassar--both of which end up being more than incidental to the tale. Ephrassar is especially interesting--the sense of loss, of a forgotten race of wondrous skill, sets both the mood and the theme for the piece, it seems. The more I think over it, the more impressed I am.
Couple things I spotted:
"...I've watched him practice with the off-duty guards.
end quotes missing.
"less important than chasing skirts, but if chasing them were on the boy's mind" Shouldn't it be 'was' instead of 'were'? Yes, skirts is plural, but the topic of chasing skirts is singular.
Excellent writing, Jim! Everything you post here is a tale well worth the reading.