"Expectations" by Reuth Dekel

I am closing my armor carefully, above the fabric layer. I feel the cold metal piercing
through my clothing, chilling me. I must not complain, but my helmet is cumbersome and
I can not see well. I go out of the room and turn towards the stables while seeking this
eminent knight, the knight who can be our savior. The aisles are all empty and taciturn,
every soldier in his room, spending (last?) valuable time in silence. There is no one here
with me.
I leave to the garden; this place is also quite austere. Even the few visible knights sit on
the marble benches between the chrysanthemums and geraniums in complete stillness,
heads lowered, like scattered copper statues. No one knows where the one knight is.
The war horn echoes around the garden and the copper figures arise together, like
magic, in arms and swords clatter, walking with me to the stables.

Even amid the long rows I cannot find this famous knight, the knight who can be our
savior. I walk along the stable walls to my horse, Heart. I gave him that name after
winning him in the Manguse card game with king heart, while the other knight had five
spade. I force myself to pay no attention to these thoughts now; I have much more
important things to do. Our commander enters the stable and all actions are halted at
once. “You will be leaving to the battlefield soon” he says and walks among us like…
well, like a commander. He is not looking concerned that the knight has still did not
arrive and his horse was nowhere in sight, too. “You will be riding until nightfall. We shall
set up an encampment on the cliff at the edge of the chasm. Tomorrow at dawn we will
be set. The rival army will arrive then, so our sleep would be our big superiority. Good
luck” the cheers of the horsemen heard from side to side, clashing the damp wooden
walls and returning to us. We saddle the horses, walk out of the stables on the wide
gravel path. I am tightening my belt, mounting my horse. I click my teeth, spurring Heart,
and start galloping.

We are approaching the chasm, to our left I can see the orange setting sun, and the
shadows are lengthening. Only this eminent knight, the knight who can be our savior, is
still absent. It is late hour of the night, and there is yet no sign of him. I want to remove
this heavy armor, but we are not allowed to do so. I am tying Heart’s reins to the wood,
filling a small mound with twigs and preparing myself for sleep. Just now the knights
begin talking between them. One even brought a bottle of ale, and now they are sitting
in front of the fire with anticipation, passing the time by little chats. I, personally, have no
will to join them. I am not as certain as I was in our triumph. My knight is still unseen,
unsounded… I begin to think that maybe all the talks about him were just rumors of fear.
I was never an easy excited person, but I can feel the change in my heart beats, my
aching stomach. The tension... it would be my first real battle.

The sun rose. We are sitting on our horses in rows, waiting. Infantrymen and horsemen
are in the first lines, archers and the ballista behind. I am bored, so I imagine a sand
hourglass in the bottom of the valley. The silence is so absolute, that I can hear the
sand falling and piled up in the lower part of my hourglass. The horses already lost their
patience. From a distance we hear repetitive weak sounds. My hourglass shatters. “Our
enemy is strong, but we are stronger! Forget about despair, dangers, pains and other
creations of your minds!” our commander shouts in a somewhat joyful tone which is
answered by nervous smiles. “Rows!” he is yelling. Complete quiet. The army
approaches us rapidly; the repetitive paces become stronger and stronger. I am holding
my sword strongly, praying any known god and also some private gods of my own. I see
them in the other side of the chasm – a much bigger army than ours. They are halting,
and the thundering claps of the horses’ hoofs disappear. Silence. The anxiety in
unbearable and I wish to go home, to fight, anything but staying in this position. Only
him, the knight I’ve been waiting for is still did not come. I realized he will not come, as
well. From the other side of the vale I see the other commander, riding a tall brown
horse. He signals with his sword, and the rows descending into the valley. “Attack!” our
commander roars. I am spurring my horse and sliding down the sloped ground. Feeling
vague, I realize the battle has begun.

It is zenith time, and we are still fighting. It is hard for me to follow the clash from my
place in the chasm, so I continue to fight. Each move subtracts my strength, each breath
sears my lungs. I know we are losing. I have no more faith in the arrival of the knight. I
have no illusions about a smooth, easy victory also. I am here, and if I will not raise my
sword now, I will never raise it. And again. “Heart!” between the infantrymen I am
directing my horse. Every second lasts a year to me. I look to my right and suddenly I
see him. The famous knight, the knight who can be our savior. On a strong white horse
he is riding towards me. He is wearing a shimmering platinum armor which dazzles him
enemies, making the fighting against him almost impossible. Hypnotized, I look at him,
forgetting where I am for a quick second. The sight of this knight as rejuvenated me and
I resume fighting intensely. Another thrust of my sword, another dodge. Attack, retreat,
attack. I feel the gaze of the knight laying on me. I stop my brawl and look. He comes
near me.

With all the tumult around, I am gaping at the knight; too stunned to comprehend he is
not approaching to help me. His sword is drawn, ready. I have no desire fighting him, I
do not wish that. He comes closer. I feel the silvery blade piercing through my left
shoulder, too close to the heart. My sword drops on the scarlet, blood soaked soil. The
knight pulls his sword and moves away. I am falling off Heart’s back. Everything around
me turns red, and then black. Out of nowhere, a horseman wrapped in long black cloak
appears. He is riding a horse, black too. With skeleton hands he pulls a long, thin,
almost invisible sickle from his cape, aiming it to my neck. I am smiling in my heart, a
small grin, and silent. Here you are, my knight, you have finally come.