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Stories / Stories / Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls / Text 12 of 12 / Shattered

"Shattered" by Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls

SciFi/Fantasy text 12 out of 12 by Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls. ←Previous - Next→

Life and Death are connected by time.

←- Taken | Angels -→

Frost water flows

Down the jaded

Sink of iniquity

Faster and faster

Trying to wash out

Benevolence and truth

Specks of sand

Dance inside my head

Flowing, rippling

Not a moment the same

In translucent regret

As my hands unfold

I hold

Throbbing perfection

Knocked into gore

Quick wrench and

A river of blood

Tributary connection

To the black and white tiled floor

Burst in vaporous breath

The artisan’s hourglass

Lost count

Covered in a sheet

Of cherry-blossom death

'Time' by JoSav 2002

←- Taken | Angels -→

Date	Name	Comment
23 Jan 2003	Emily Grist	Loading... Scary concept to think about... nice... very nice... very chilling... Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "A little fright is always good. Glad you liked it. "
24 Jan 2003	E. Hanna	Loading... The imagery is very powerful; it takes the reader out of his/her world and transposes new meaning on it. The effect is jarring and stirs the emotions. In my opinion: very well done. Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Thank you. Such a very very nice comment. "
25 Jan 2003	Anneke Hut	Loading... Actually there is only one thing to say here: "This is perfection!" Thank you for sharing your talent with us, Jorieke. Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Awwww Anneke!! Don't say that, you make my face all glow with honor. ^^;;;;; Thank you. Hehehe"
4 Feb 2003	Anneke Hut	Loading... And I REALLY REALLY mean it!! : http://www.broenink-art.nl/anneke/links.html Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Anneke, you overwhelm me with honour. Thank you so much for linking me, I'm glad I'm your favourite poet! runs off to write poetry"
8 Mar 2003	Meike de Nooy	Loading... When I read these kind of things I always start wondering what is going on in someones head while they're writing... I always write because there is stuff in me that needs releasing... same for you? I think this is an awesome piece of work! Breathtaking would describe it quite well, it takes you out of this world and really... makes you think harder (must confess though... had to read it twice to get it) Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Was it that confusing? ..... I always bulk with ideas so usually when one idea escapes and is written down about six or seven ideas are written down. And I'm never happy or really proud of it. Well, I am at the time but when I re-read it afterwards I wonder... WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?! Heh. Thanks for the comment, I've been to your gallery and what I see looks verypromising but I haven't the time to look close now, but I promise I will... ^_^"
30 Jul 2003	Gregg"Sarafina" DeMattos	Loading... I feel like the title of the story. Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Really?"
27 Dec 2003	Midge	Loading... Wow. Beautiful... and chilling. Very well done.