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Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls

"Succubus" by Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls

SciFi/Fantasy text 10 out of 12 by Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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Actually called Crystal Tears of Feigned Loss but I felt it was a little too long of a title so I changed it to what it's about: about a succubus. ^_^
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←- Stillness Chapter One | Taken -→

Glass eyes

Unreadable

A liquid smile

Reflecting innocence

And a life so pure

But things are not as they seem

Behind those eyes

And beyond that smile

Is something she hides

A true demon in disguise

No, things are not as they seem

Glass eyes

Reading your soul

A liquid smile

Stealing your heart

No, things are not as they seem

Try to read those eyes

Attempt to catch that smile

And be hopelessly lost.

 

'Crystal Tears Of Feigned Loss' Jorieke 2001

←- Stillness Chapter One | Taken -→

DateNameComment 
7 Mar 2003:-) E. Hanna
A perfect character sketch for a Succubus. I very much enjoyed how you've added emotional depth to a fantasy creature. Great work.

On a lighter note, I can tell you of a computer game called "Nethack" where you wander through a dungeon. When you see a Succubus- walk the other way. If they come near you they seduce you and rob you. You can't even bring yourself to attack them. Oh, Woe to us foolish mortals : >

:-) Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Hehe. And then there are people that are convinced succubi don't exist. They do! They really do... ^_^"
14 Apr 2003:-) Vries
My first comment on written work 1 I really like this one, because I met a succubus a short time ago. Well, not really a demon, but she behaves like one. And I can't tell you I don't like it 1 Foolish, dont you think? I guess i'm going to die soon. Bye bye...

:-) Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Well, I never heard from you since, so youmust've died long ago. Hehe, tell me, what's it like to be killed at the hands of a succubus?"
29 Jun 200345 Justine 'Dywata' Limvalencia
So seductive and carnal, and so illusive at the same time. *laughs* Succubi *do* have that effect, don't they? Steal someone's heart and then prove themselves beyond out of reach. Very nice poem. Your description of the succubi is right on the mark.

:-) Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Thank you, Justine."
28 Dec 2003:-) Nicholas G. DeBruno
Wow, that was such a good poem. I am seriously impressed. I am curious, in yoor biography you mentioned that your writing would be in stores soon, so has a publishing house picked you up? If so, congrats cause that is awesome!

:-) Jorieke 'JoSav' Savelkouls replies: "Yes, though I have decided to postpone the book because I need to publish another story first. Sometimes you can't stop with trying to catch up with yourself."
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'Succubus':
 • Created by: :-) Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls
 • Copyright: ©Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Demon, Lost, Succubus, Tears
 • Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 1561

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More by 'Jorieke ´JoSav´ Savelkouls':
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Livid Child With A Golden Fringe
Stillness of Dawn (introduction)
Taken
The Earth Mother
Land of the Dragon

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