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Joeri ´Jos´ verheyden

"A warrior´s fate" by Joeri ´Jos´ verheyden

SciFi/Fantasy text 3 out of 11 by Joeri ´Jos´ verheyden.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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←- an elf speaking of love | magic of the next dawn -→

Long have I wandered

Far and wide

Looking...

Just for a place to hide

The enemy has prevailed

My sword

Has failed

The orcish army

Was to great

Tough theyr scimitars

I do not hate

Home...

Is the place I'd rather not be

For my people might not welcome me

All i have

Is my sword of the strongest steal

With wich i have inflicted

Many wounds that will not heal

My swords path

I will follow

Tough my life

Will be hollow

Looking for an elven girls love

To follow

To the Avalon from above...

Hor her I will move mountains

To see our love

In the mythical fountains

From then, my sword i will not behold

A steal

So hard and cold…

←- an elf speaking of love | magic of the next dawn -→

DateNameComment 
11 Nov 200345 Edana
just beautiful... really, I love it
It's so full of emotion, it 's just really...
ow, I just can't say what I feel, but somehow I'm quite sure you know what I mean... don't you?
13 Nov 2003:-) Frida M. Bergkvist
I love it! So full of emotions! I don't know how to describe it... just wonderful! 1
1 Jun 200445 Knight of Eventar
I just love it man!
9 Jul 200445 John Smith
On a quest for Avalon!!!! no wait.. Tanelorn. Nice but tough story.

:-) Joeri 'Jos' verheyden replies: "quest for tanelorn...then i would steal the name of a already great song of blind guardian(anyone who dares to defy the power of blind guardian will deal with me)"
17 Jul 2005:-) Rochelle Leya Watts
The sentiment is certainly clear. The flow of the piece is a little clunky, but I can see how that might add to it as it might an imitation of a man struggling along. The rhymes are nice, especially the way they are at the ends of lines but not overly stressed.
Just a few typos you might want to fix in an update:
"was to great" = too great
"theyr" = their
"strongest steal"= steel
"with wich"= Which
"elven girls love"= elven girl's love
"hor her"= for her
"a steal
so hard and cold.."= a steel
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'A warrior's fate':
 • Created by: :-) Joeri ´Jos´ verheyden
 • Copyright: ©Joeri ´Jos´ verheyden. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Fate, Warriors
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Romance, Emotion, Love, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins, Celtic
 • Views: 564

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