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Jason Conrad Ritenour

"A bit of Fun" by Jason Conrad Ritenour

SciFi/Fantasy text 1 out of 3 by Jason Conrad Ritenour.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This one dosent have much point just a few thoughts that were racing through my head at the time
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←- Lucas and Athur I | Girl -→

His Plan was simple walk in to the bar grab the bag walk out. Again the young man paced the floor and thought to him self “It’s simple walk take the bag and walk out before the damn orc faced fools figgered out what’d happ’n to ‘em.” He stared at the open door way watching the two slender men as the sipped at there drinks and laughed the scantly clad bar girls. He sucked a deep breath in feeling the cool air run across his teeth and tongue as his foot hit the first step in to the crowed bar room his heart dropped clean to his feet then as if jump started began to pump in and out at a hundred miles an hour. He could feel the souls of his shoes sticking to the floor; a thought raced through his mind as to what it was that was so sticky, but a voice inside reminded him that asking such questions would often lead to answers one did not wish to have. As the young man made his way across the filled bar room and sat him self at the bar two sets down from the men he had been watching earlier. To his left was a Sarak sipping on what looked like Cowel Juice a particularly harsh drink for a particularly ugly Sarak, not that any Saraks were known for their good looks. Behind him he could hear two male Dorians fighting over a lost Kallos game. The bar tender look down at the small man and then blurted out a half muffled phrase.

“Wha’d want”

“A drink you fool”

“Ok smart ass don’t push yer luck”

“Something cheap, and something strong”

“Right” The bartender’s hand slipped underneath the counter of the bar and pulled a thin blue bottle. He filled over one of the dust-covered glasses and half filled it with a bright red liquid. “That’ll be two.” The young man at the bar tossed a set of coins on the bar top and looked about the room. The Sarak next to him took the last drink of his Cowel Juice and began to rise. As he did so the mans mind shot alive “Now!” He thought to him self he drained the drink in to his system and stepped in front of the Sarak as he got down from his stool. He could feel the liquor burn his throat as it had done so man times before. The Sarak walked right behind the man, as the paced of the group of still bickering Dorians he gave a quick shove to the one closest to him and then dipped in to the crowd. The Dorian became enraged and shoved the Sarak, how by chance was over twice his size and nearly three times as strong, in to the bar. With out even a moment thought the Sarak’s enormous hand engulfed the head of the smaller Dorian and tossed him down along the side of the bar. The two slender men that been sat at the bar quickly jumped away from their seats and their bag as the Dorian landed at there feet. The remaining Dorians from the Kallos game immediately jumped to the aid in attacking the Sarak beast that they had succeeded in angering. The young man darted from the crowed that he had been cloaked in and nabbed the bag left laying on the floor. As he strolled towards the door at a brisk pace he could see a Dorian crash in to the Kallos table splintering it like a twig, the whole bar had come alive and the Sarak was making a rather large mess of things. Turing the corner to leave the bar he thought to himself.

“I guess I could have just taken the bag…oh well”

←- Lucas and Athur I | Girl -→

DateNameComment 
26 Jun 2006:-) Ariel E. Lewis
Well, I started reading this, but there were so many grammatical mistakes (sorry, but I'm a big grammar person so if I seem a little nitpicky it's because of that) that I stopped midway. It's a cute idea, but I'd like to be able to read it instead of focusing on distracting errors.

For example:
there is no space between into or myself (you had in to and my self)
their means belonging to them
there shows a place
and they're means they are
there are a lot more, but that'll have to do for now.
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'A bit of Fun':
 • Created by: :-) Jason Conrad Ritenour
 • Copyright: ©Jason Conrad Ritenour. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Bar
 • Categories: Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms
 • Views: 413

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