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J (Proudfoot) Taylor

"Shifters Apart" by J (Proudfoot) Taylor

SciFi/Fantasy text 21 out of 34 by J (Proudfoot) Taylor.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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Based upon the experiences of co-located kin; those who live here in the physical world, but also in the spiritual plane. Opinions are very much appreciated on this piece.
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←- Elven Folklore Part 10 | To Be a Musing -→

Haunted.

Haunted by the visions…the dreams…the reality.  While my eyes focused on the overhead in front of me, my mind saw visions of the savannah.

Low to the ground I crawl in the grass, looking out at my prey.  Ever haunted.  Paws spreading loose dirt beneath, ears lowering and body flattening lower.

“And this…” These lessons haunted me.

Eyes focusing on the poor creature; easy prey.  Muscles tightening.

“Now if you…”

Dart!  Paws dig into dirt, grass flies loose.  The young hoofed creature running wildly.  Mine!

“Pages two-…”

Paws wrapped around its neck; teeth deep in the throat.  Its wind pipe collapsing in my jaws; blood seeping onto my tongue. Wheezing.

My eyes ran blind upon the text.

Ears folded carefully, paws tight around its neck.

“What?  The bell echoes.  Where did…?  Oh.  As always, everybody filed out before I even started putting my books away.  History.  “The worst class in the world,” I mumbled as I shoved the unnecessarily large book into my backpack along with my pen and notebook.  Walking into the hallway was an overwhelming amount of noise.  I felt my tail curl and slip close to my legs, as I made to ‘sprint’ through the crowds.  Into the courtyard.  My tail now hung loose, as I looked around for an open space, but I could see none.  The only thing worse than being interrupted by classes in the middle of a hunt was my territory being overrun by humans.  My ears pinned slightly as I tried to find an open space to sit and do homework.  Finally, I found an open space by the small sapling on the far side.  I sprinted in full and hopped onto the cement blocks that surrounded it.  I pulled my books out with my bottle of water.  I set my water bottle beside me, and my book and notebook in my lap.  Ignoring all that was around me, I got to work on my math homework.  The sun beat down with its strength-giving rays.

I lick my paws, removing the lovely blood that covered them.  Sweet fresh meat.  I have finished my fill of this hoofed delight.  I throw my head up…

Taking a sip of my water, I stared at the problem intently.  Numbers were useless.  We did not use…

yap!  Yes.  I yap loudly for those I know so they too may enjoy my kill.

numbers.  Jackals did not need these silly divisions.  Everybody ate their fill; we did not need to ‘divide’.

No, that was not right.  That was the formula I needed.  My name was called, but I gave no indication that I heard.  My ears slid back irritably as the footsteps approached.  Stop using me.  Just because I can help you does not mean you should abuse the privilege.

Automatically, I looked up to the girl when her footsteps stopped.  Forcing a smile, I greeted her, “Hi.”

“Hi.  Listen,” she began, at first a smile, and then to seriousness.  Her request for help with history; of all…

Greetings, I nuzzle against a familiar as he comes to feast.  Grinning I scamper off to rest under the shade of a tree with my full belly.

things.  I smiled pleasantly, as I answered, “Sure, I’ll help you.”  What was I getting myself…

Flicking my tail as a fly tries to land.  So hot; so hot out here.  But I am satisfied.

into?  I did not even like this girl.

“Thank you so much!” she exclaimed as she made a bounce of joy before sitting beside me.

Again, I felt my ears slide back in irritation.  I wanted to snap at her for sitting so close.  If only I was not human I would.  So help me, as she placed her history book in my lap.

Dozing…content…satisfaction.  Stretching out comfortably.

←- Elven Folklore Part 10 | To Be a Musing -→

DateNameComment 
11 Feb 200445 Tristan Demone
I like it! You have a very unique style. I especially like how you jumped from reality to fantasy. It made the story fast paced without being to jumpy.

(Congrats on Mod's for Elven folklore!)

2 J (Proudfoot) Taylor replies: "  Thank you for the compliments. I would like to make note though, it is not a jump from reality to fantasy, but rather a reality to a reality.

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Don't be a stranger.

(Thank you ^_~)"
2 Nov 2004:-) Tamra J. King
Jennifer you have to finish this story. I'm really loveing it how the first part turned out. But where is the second? I'm also a little bit confused. Is she in two different worlds at once, or is she just remembering her past? Or is she just day dreaming? But I really love it, and I'm insisting that you finish it. Though I doubt me insisting is going to do any good. *shrugs* Can't blame a girl for trying.

2 J (Proudfoot) Taylor replies: "Thank you for your encouragement. She is living in two different worlds at the same time: the physical and the spiritual. When a person lives like this it is called "co-location".

I would love to finish this, but the sheer amount of characters that were originally planned for this isn't possible, especially because of the double personalities involved. The other thing I am afraid of is it becoming a cult following. The other thing is, I really don't have a plot. I really just wanted to express how it feels to be living two lives at the same time. To say the least it is overwhelming.

Thank you for your encouragement though. I really appreciate it."
13 Jun 2005:-) Natasha S Saunders
Very interestingly written story. I think I did grasp the main switching concept of it after the initial few jumps, and generally a lot of the switching is done very well and at good points. I like the short one-sentance fragments best, but of course at times 'this' world pulls at her for a bit longer and demands attention. I can practically read the annoyance in her tone at that. The clear fondness for one place over another is well expressed.

One possible suggestion, just for readability, not critiquing the actual story itself, is to perhaps have one world italisised and the other normal? Or if not that (since that could set the other world back a bit which you may not want) when one paragraph in this world ends in ellipses (...) half-way through a sentance, it might be clearer for reading if when the sentance began again it started with ... too, just to make it easier to tell where one left off and the other began again.

Anyway, just a possibility. Very much liked the story. If there'll be a follow up, or even anything along similar lines, would love to read it 2

12 J (Proudfoot) Taylor replies: "I'm glad you enjoyed the way this story was written. It's good to know that I actually made jumps in good places.As for making the switch more clear, there are some reasons I didn't make it all that clear. You may or may not have noticed that I wrote the "real world" in past tense, while the "other world" was written in the present tense. I had decided that was how I was going to separate it because it was a nice effect. I do understand, though, that making it italisized would help separate the two. The reason I didn't make an emphasized difference, like italisized is because this story is meant to show how co-located/multi-located people live; these are people who live in more than one plane at once. Often, there is very little difference between the real world and any other world they are in at any time.I was going to make this into a full story, but I have yet to figure out an actual plotline for it. Thanks for stopping by. I'll let you know if I do continue it or writes something similar to it."
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'Shifters Apart':
 • Created by: :-) J (Proudfoot) Taylor
 • Copyright: ©J (Proudfoot) Taylor. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Co-location, Kin, Life, Live, Otherkin, Spirit
 • Categories: Lycanthrope, Were-folk, etc, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic
 • Views: 504

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Destiny and Time Part One
Aria of Earth And Sea 00
I am made of Music
To Be a Musing

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