On March 28 2006, two of my friends were involved in a serious car accident. One died instantly. The other, my closest friend since the age of 12, died after several weeks in a coma. We thought he was going to make it, but unfortunately we were mistaken. After coming to terms with the shock of it all, I finally painted my feelings in the original version of this painting: http://adalelle.deviantart.com/art/Please-Don-t-38588465
Back then, I wrote "Loss is one of the hardest things to deal with. People say it, but you don't know it until it happens. You think you're prepared, but it just shakes your world. I started this painting a few months after my best friend died. I've lost several people to death, and almost died myself. Many close friends are now scattered around the country. I have since left the country, permanently."
Since then, this painting has taken on many more meanings. It represents that feeling, that after people who are close to you die, they stay with you. This painting is for those I've lost.
Two years later the feeling hasn't changed. More are dead. I've discovered my deep hatred for cars as crashes have taken from me a cousin and an uncle. My grandmother passed, as did my aunt. I myself was in a serious crash, as was my mother in a seperate incident. We survived, though were badly injured. Every spring, as February, March and April roll around, I think of them all. It still hurts, it's still sad, but I guess I don't feel it as much. It is no longer immediate and overwhelming. Yet there are days when I dream with my friends, having adventures with them and then I wake up, feeling deeply sad that it was just a cruel trick of the mind. I don't think I'll ever really accept that they're gone.
Rest In Peace Josh Mooney. Rest in Peace Steve Lentine.
Rest in Peace Tio Arturo, Mark and Tia Olga. Rest in Peace Abuelita Alicia.
[Edit] Thank you for all the kind words. I now have a close relationship with my friend's parents, and cherish the gift he has given me by allowing for that bond.