|25 Aug 2003|| Faith D. Doerr aka Lerune|
*does first comment dance* Why in hell has no one read this?! This is wonderful! The repetitive versing, the constant reminder of being brave...it all works so well together and really stuck in my mind. I love this one -- so far, it is my favorite piece! Come on people -- leave some comments for this one!
|1 Dec 2003|| Patricio Gronda|
Ok, I'll have to obey the previous comment.
Like I say every time I have to comment a poem, I'm not a poem kind of guy. But some of them work for me (I usually only comment those that work, since I don't even finish reading those that don't).
I can iamgine this one being read near a fire, in a tavern, with soft arpegies in the background. It would work. We could even turn it into an epic song. As I said, I'm not a poem kind of guy, I usually see them as songs without music... yet.
Sorry, I think that what I'm trying to say is that I like it. After all, that's the only critic I can do about it.
|11 Feb 2004|| Lindsey M. Butler |
This one reminded me (strangely) of a nursery rhyme. Kind of like Ring Around the Rosey. I was caught up in the rhymes and the rhythym, and had fun reading this. But in the end the subject is grave. I really enjoyed it!
|9 Dec 2007|| Delorin|
Again, I just wanted to reiterate that I really did enjoy this a great deal as is. It lacks nothing and is extremely solid and enjoyable. My only hope is that you continue to produce such works, and don't hoard all of your talent for that book of yours.
|9 Dec 2007|| Delorin|
I really liked this one as well, Kaer. The style you show here is more to my usual taste and really struck a chord. The layout and phrasing seem great, and I especially like the last line. The one piece of advice I might add, however, is just to tone down on the repetition a bit. While it does add a great deal of strength to the poem over all, a bit of change here and there could remove any chance for the repetition line to ever be mistaken as a simple placeholder. As well, changing the line here and there could place a great deal of emphasis on a particular point and could add that small extra bit to push this to being truly great. I'm only suggesting between 2-4 instances, and only as a friend.