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Jessica Lynn Batiste

"Third War" by Jessica Lynn Batiste

SciFi/Fantasy text 5 out of 5 by Jessica Lynn Batiste.      ←Previous - Next→
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it's part of rp, like a one of those thingy's hehe i don't remeber my brain is having a spasm
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Third War


The mouths of many Zealioun’s opened, as the unknown voice boomed over the caravans. A slow and deep, but strong beat moved the ground as they marched to it. Mouths still open hums could be hear eventually as they cut off to create more beats, faster and louder. Until it seemed they created chaos; heads swung back and forth along with tails keeping the beat.

They are bards one and true to sound. These are the people of Zealous.


Marching through the desolate land, they ignored their hunger, their thirst and their pain. Their mission was escort, that was all there was to it. Nothing mattered but the mission. Their way for many eons. The song prevailed through seeming endless journey. However this was not their land, they had captured many of their enemies souls that where contained in soul jars made by their lord for such events.

This is their way. This is the way.


The unstoppable army sold their souls, and all those they defeat, for peace of mind, acquaintances of the undead, demons even. They had many names, none truly specific of what they really were, are. They looked alike, and yet very different, each same size and shape. But different colors and eyes. They gave the same far off look in every situation, war, peace, even with loved ones. Well, if you believed they could love. Their life span was un-time able for they had two suns, with no sunrise or set. No orbit, no moon, nothing but a standstill between to stars.

This is their home. This is the sands and fire planet, called Zealous.


Zealous, planet of sands and fire. No weather, spongy plants they released a clear liquid when squeezed. This is their presumed food of common consumption. Named Zealous for many creatures wanted a planet so perfect, so undeniably different. Zealous the common word that meant jealousy and tempt. All seemed perfect here of course that was only one-half of it.

The Zealioun’s part. The part that is only seen.

Drawkin, home of the DWC (Dark-Wing Clan) the half with tan sands always cool always a bit dark. Just like the rest of the planet. Except there sands pilled to make it a place where only those who could fly live. Therefore, it had the floating city. Buildings were constructed and dark colored people lived here so busy. Yet so quiet.

This was the other half. The unseen land.

The planet had a clear line of where the blue sands meet the tan. One half seemed uninhabited just like a blue dessert. If looked at it would be considered a jungle, for so many shades mixed together gave it shape. The ground was flat and looked undisturbed. This was the land of Zealous under the rule of, Queen, Song, and King Zavor. Many only see him, no one questions this.

It was not their place for such a thing. Nor did it matter.

No cities, only half valley at the closed back lay a palace placed right where the blue sands meet the tan. This palace was white, all white. With pillars and creative designs and knots. It was well known that this was the house of the royal family. Nevertheless, as everything else it was quiet. Never moving. It contained the only small variety of vegetation in the yard. Green fire always burned at its entrance. Guards where there as well, no one knew if they where even still alive.

No one cared. They could not.

Would you like to know more?

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12 Dec 200445 Larissa Image
Oooh, interesting start! I hope you add some more. Zealous sounds like a very strange place, I don't know if I'd want to live there...

There were a few mistakes. I spotted a run-on sentences, something about the souls kept in soul jars, or the sentence before that. You used "where" instead of "were" at one point, near the end I think. And that's pretty much all I noticed.

Great job and keep writing! I want to find out what happens!
13 Sep 200745 Mary Keat
I would love to hear more. Great start. It sounds intresting. ^_^
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'Third War':
 • Created by: :-) Jessica Lynn Batiste
 • Copyright: ©Jessica Lynn Batiste. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: (rp), Third, War
 • Categories: Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Urban Fantasy and/or Cyberpunk
 • Views: 551

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