"Fire" by K ´Karahatay´ Fink

Trillian woke to the smell of smoke.  It was not the smell of plastic, or that of a building, but the sweet wood smoke of pine.  At first she was frightened, believing that she was back in her apartment in New York, and the darkness was smoke filling her room in the dead of night.  It was no such thing.  The breeze had simply made the tireless smoke from the campfire waft into the tent.  There was no problem…

            Nathaniel woke with a start.  He had heard something snap and something fall.  There was a storm coming in tonight and no moon.  Even though it was dark he could still see the outline of his horse, Korrben, tied to a tree.  Korrben hadn’t made the noise and there was nothing around the tree that could have fallen.  Perhaps it was some other large creature.  One thing was clear, though; it was not safe to remain where he was for much longer.

            “Dion!  Yosha!” Nathaniel called softly but harshly for his wolves.  They ran past him, brushing his legs like a mist – never quite touching the ground and vanishing as if with the wind.  Nathaniel ran to Korrben, quickly untied the reins from the tree and looped them over the horse’s head.  He slung his pack over his shoulders and jumped onto Korrben’s bare back and, like the shadows of ghosts, was gone.

            Trillian woke again, but this time the smoke was heavier and a bright orange light flickered over her tent.  Frightened, she put on her shoes and crawled out of her tent.  She gasped.  There was a fire, but it surrounded the camp rather than being contained within it.  She ran.

            “The portal is open m’lord.”

“Goooood.”  Right on time, Damon thought.  “You are dismissed mage.”

“But, sir – “ the mage stuttered.

“Now,” Damon said through clenched teeth.  It wasn’t the fact that Damon’s loose, baggy clothing and dark scarf flapped as if in a fierce wind on this very still night, but the glimpse of Damon’s grey eyes behind the scarf that scared the mage into a run.  Two wolves, one white and grey like the swirling mist, the other a black deeper than the night, burst out from behind Damon, hot on the mage’s heels.

Damon laughed.  Finally!  I shall be rid of him!  he thought with a grin as a black horse charged after the wolves.  He whistled high and loud for his own mount and the glossy grey galloped toward him.  Damon ran forward to prepare for a moving mount, which he accomplished with ease and found his balance on the bare back.  He turned his horse slightly away from the trail of Nathaniel and his mutant “pets.”  He would be cursed if he were going to fall into the trap he had set for Nathaniel.

Trillian ran blindly through the night.  Though her body ran, her mind remained back inside her apartment, lying, frightened, on her bed, surrounded by flames.  A beam from the ceiling crashed down on her, breaking her leg and trapping her inside the burning building.  She could still feel the pain; still feel the flames licking at her.  The smoke still choked her down and so she gave up breathing.  Her body begged for the air her brain refused to let it have, but still it ran through the clear, cool, smokeless night air, directed by an unknown source that offered it the oxygen her body longed for.  Finally her body gave up and fell into the lake she had run to.  There was no splash and not a ripple was present to mar the mirror-like surface of the dead lake.

                                    *                      *                      *

Korrben galloped through the trees after Dion and Yosha.  He had been trained all his life to follow the wolves.  The natural instinct telling him otherwise had been stamped out generations ago, before the humans had destroyed most everything else.  Besides, his rider, to whom Korrben had a fierce loyalty, was in control while on his back, though that was the only time.  He had tried once to be rid of the man, but had caused himself only grief.  Korrben knew Nathaniel trusted him, and now he needed Nathaniel almost as much as Nathaniel needed him.

They broke though the trees to find Dion and Yosha stopped at a lake.  There was no movement on its surface.  A few yards away from where they stopped a man lay face down and Korrben could smell his death thick in the air.  He shuddered and pranced nervously.  Nathaniel made no move to calm him as he dismounted and walked to the dead man.

Trillian woke and screamed.  She could feel the burns from the fire in her mind and the phantom pain of her shattered leg.  No sound came out of her throat, but she continued until it was raw.  When she again returned to lucidity Trillian realized she was floating.  It should not have been possible with her water logged clothes, but she was.  No, she was on the shore and the water was simply too shallow for her to sink.  Above her shone four glowing green predatory eyes the colour of a dark pine tree in the moonlight.  Accompanying the unearthly eyes were eight unnaturally white fangs that glinted from an unknown light source.  Between the two sets of eyes a horse stood looking down on her and breathing into her face.

The hot breath warmed her face and she realized how very cold she was.  Trillian started to shiver as she pulled herself from the water.  The two wolves rubbed against her, drying and warming her.  Trillian stood and faced the horse after getting her shivering under control.  He turned and, it seemed to her, offered his back.  She worked hard to mount the tall black stallion, but didn’t succeed.  The horse looked back and snorted.  She turned away, a little ashamed, and saw a man walking toward her, a still body lying behind him. He scared her, and she put extra effort into trying to mount the horse, she was worried now.  Thunder rolled and it started to rain.

Nathaniel walked back toward Korrben with his head down, not entirely against the rain.  As he approached a chill fell over him, and he pulled his cloak tighter.  He looked up through bleary eyes and, as lightning cracked through the skies, he thought he saw a woman on his horse.  It went dark again and he couldn’t see a thing.  He didn’t care.  He had wanted to walk, anyway.  Damon.  His only brother.  Damon, the one who was going to become a mage.  Damon, who had left years ago, was dead by the dead lake.

Trillian watched the horse shake his head as he followed the strange, cloaked man and the wolves.  She wasn’t a good rider and knew that it irritated the horse.  A black shadow passed through her head, followed by one swirling white and grey.  It was not night with those shadows, but day!  The ground beneath her nose was alive!  Her paws barely touched the ground, and her muscles moved with silken ease.  She was hungry, but not for the wild ground based meat she knew she could catch with ease.  She was hungry for the tangy, tough meat only fowl offered.  Trillian was aware of a large cat watching tensely from in a nearby tree.  She wondered where all this came from.  Surely she did not want to hunt birds; their meat had always sickened her.  Certainly it was night, and she was on a horse, wasn’t she?  She shook her head trying to clear it.  It didn’t help.  Smells wafted into her perfectly alert nose suggesting humans had been here recently.  Humans who knew enough to try to cover their trail.  Humans saturated with magic.  Magic that stunk of evil, magic that evoked a fierce hatred in her that could not be matched.  A hatred bred into her.  Trillian felt her lips curl into a growl but heard sound only from the grey and white wolf below her.

A trap!  It hit her that it could be nothing else, and before she knew what she was doing she was on the ground in front of the man.

“STOP!” she yelled frantically and put her hand out before her as thunder echoed against her voice.

Nathaniel froze as the figure of a woman appeared before him, lit up against the darkness by a flash of lightning.  She was white and appeared dry despite the rain.  As the light died he heard a voice yelling at him as she again disappeared into the darkness.  He dared not move as what he saw came into focus in his mind.  It was a young woman with long, curly, red hair and pale eyes that seemed to have known every emotion in their time.  She was slightly shorter than he, but was built strongly; her muscles were somehow clear through her light shirt.  She was, by far, the most beautiful woman Nathaniel had ever seen.

He waited for his eye to readjust as his sorrow for his brother slipped away, replaced by curiosity for this woman.  The lightning struck again, but this time the woman was wet and looked worn out and frightened.  He rushed to her, but she waved him off and stumbled back to Korrben.  She mounted with a grace that he had never seen before.

Nathaniel looked off into the darkness before him.  Quietly he picked up a stick and threw it down the path.  He was almost startled when there was a bright flash and the stick fell to the ground in flames.  Nathaniel berated himself for not paying attention.  He knelt down beside his wolves and they licked his face.  He knew they had tried to stop him but he hadn't been paying attention.  He knew better than that.  Nathaniel gave Korrben a funny look.  Korrben snorted reprovingly. 

“Lead the way,” Nathaniel suggested to the enormous stallion.  Korrben immediately turned into the trees.

A few hours later they came upon a village and stopped at an unusually busy inn.  Nathaniel figured they would be less noticed in there.  The woman stood quietly off in the corner of the stable while he put his horse away.  The wolves had stayed without the village to find something to eat.  Fowl, preferably.   Nathaniel had, almost with a smile, warned them that there’d better be no chickens missing in the morning, to which the wolves had replied with snorts of disgust and loped off into the woods.  Trillian seemed dry now, and looked as if she was trying to stay out of the light as much as she could, almost as if it hurt her pale skin.  He walked into the inn, checking to see if she was following.  Her walk was brisk yet cautious.  When he bought a “nice” room (one with a bed) for the lady, he would sleep on the floor, the squat innkeeper gave him a queer look but asked no questions.  Nathaniel looked back at the woman and motioned her up the stairs with a kind smile.  She looked scared and stuck close to his side until they got to the rooms.

Nathaniel lit a lantern attached to the room in the wall and the redheaded woman shied away.

“What’s wrong?” Nathaniel asked, startled.

“The fire,” she answered in a shaky voice.

“Yes?”

“It… it’s too hot,” the woman replied quietly and turned away from him.

Nathaniel could see she was upset, but wasn’t sure how to calm her down.  He closed the lantern and took a couple steps toward the beautiful woman.  She seemed so familiar to him…

“I thank you for saving my life.  I was foolishly blinded by my sorrow for my brother.”  Nathaniel paused.  Before the silence became uncomfortable he tried a different approach.  “Pray tell, fair lady, what is your name?”

“Lady?”  Trillian turned to look at him and blushed.  Nathaniel thought it only made her look better.  “Thank you.  My name is Trillian.  Pray tell, dear sir, what is your name?” she said in a playful way and grinned.

“Nathaniel.” He was about to ask her another question but before he could get it out Trillian let out a shout of pain.  She grabbed frantically for her leg, lost her balance, fell on the bed and passed out.

                        *                                  *                                  *

Damon waited until the sun rose to search out his brother.  When he arrived at the dead lake and found only the dead mage he scowled and kicked the corpse into the poisoned lake.  The lake had been alive once, a long, long time ago, but as was the habit with the human race, it was destroyed by their pollution.  Well, there had been a volcano that had started it toward ruin, but nature could have fixed it.  That is, it would have come back had the humans of centuries ago not polluted their world so much.  Finally the water had turned to more of a strong acid than actual water.  To their credit those people had tried to reverse the effects of their stupidity by dumping base into the water.  It reduced the acidity, but the lake was already dead.  It remained dead, poisoned by the salt that had been created n the neutralizing reaction.  It was the strange salt that killed the things that stayed in contact with the water for too long.

Damon would have to try the next spot, but he doubted that Nathaniel would be there; those cursed mutant wolves of his would have protected him from that, even if their minds had been affected by the lake.  Damon laughed; the lake had a notorious habit of driving insane anything that was not purebred or inbred.  As he reached the second failed trap the feeling that he was forgetting something crept into his mind.  No, Nathaniel wasn’t there.  Damon would have to check the village nearest here; if he’d stopped it would have been there.

Nathaniel woke to find he was alone in the room.  Disappointed and slightly depressed he walked down to the stables and left on his horse with Dion and Yosha following far behind.  What had he expected anyway?  She was probably just a dream.  A nice dream, but a dream nonetheless.

Trillian woke to find the pain gone from her leg, as well as Nathaniel and all his things.  She walked out of the room and found herself on the street, which was curious, but, somehow, not troubling.   She walked, despondent, for a few minuets with her head down.  When she did lift her head she saw Nathaniel’s black horse in the distance, and Nathaniel walking beside him.  She sped up her stride and found he was not as far away as she had thought.  When she was a couple yards away she ran the rest of the distance to Korrben and rested her hand on his shoulder.  The horse looked back and stopped walking.  He snatched a tuft of nearby grass as she mounted and then continued after Nathaniel.  They kept up a fairly rapid pace as the day turned to afternoon and the afternoon turned to twilight.  Trillian was amazed that Nathaniel had walked the whole time and never said a word.  They did stop once a little after noon, but Nathaniel didn’t seem to notice her.  It wasn’t until the sun started sinking over the trees Nathaniel finally turned back to remount his horse, oblivious to Trillian.

Nathaniel touched his horse.  It had been a long day and a long walk.  He only rode Korrben when he needed speed desperately or when he was too tired to walk.  The day had been very hot despite the shade of the tall trees and Nathaniel could see another storm coming in.  Touching Korrben had sent a chill through his bones that made him feel as though he’d been burned in an inferno then left in frozen ground for a thousand years.  Despite that, Nathaniel swung himself up onto the horse and felt suddenly as though he’d plunged into an icy waterfall.  Cold hands lay on his, and then the hands sunk into his as he handled the reins.  He leaned forward and an icy breath blew across his lips and froze his mind, paralyzing him.  It was clear now and he remembered it all.

Trillian didn’t realize at first what it meant when Nathaniel got onto Korrben without even realizing she was there.  The thought manifested itself as he sat where she was and as she realized that for the first time she was truly warm. The first time since the fire…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud thunderclap and lightning flashing before Korrben. The stallion reared and pranced, not at the angry weather, but at the appearance of a man out of the light, wrapped in a silver mist. His eyes were not quite grey, not quite silver.  There were swirling clouds twisted in silver with lightning flashing behind them in those eyes.  Those eyes were beautiful beyond anything Trillian had ever seen and they sucked her in.  Out of the warmth she had stolen from Nathaniel, down into the cold, cold abyss of Damon’s eyes.

Nathaniel came to the moment Trillian started to leave him.  “No!” he shouted and pulled Korrben who had been backing away from Damon to a stop.  “No, you won’t have this one Damon.  This one is special, I lost her once to a fire and I’m not about to lose her to your frozen wasteland!”

“But Nathaniel,” Damon objected mockingly, “I thought I was dead.  Didn’t you?  Couldn’t this just be another fruitless dream?  I brought you back here, my brother, certainly I brought her here for the same reason?  Or perhaps for something greater.” Damon smiled a wicked, twisted smile, all the while never blinking.  “You had your purpose, she has hers.  Won’t you let her do what she died to do?”

“You mean what you killed her to do?”  Nathaniel was angry now.  “You sent me back there to find people for you to suck the minds and souls out of just so that you could have their knowledge and their power for your own.  What did I get for helping you with this heinous thing?  The satisfactions of helping my virtuous brother help the world?  You’re disgusting”

“But Nathaniel, what about this Trillian of yours?  Surely if it wasn’t for me you’d have never met her?”

“To have something only to loose it?  No, I’d rather have had her live to love another than to die in your fire.”  Nathaniel could see Damon was becoming annoyed by this exchange.  He also knew he was running out of time.

“It really is a shame you had to taste that fire.  I really should have let you die in it.”

“But you brought me back, and now that I know what you’ve been doing and will no longer help you, you want to be rid of me.  You didn’t count on this.  You didn’t count on me finding her.” Nathaniel had started in a level voice, but as he finished he shouted.

“What have I…got to do with…anything…?” Trillian drawled softly and slowly as Damon continued to pull her down.  Nathaniel was ecstatic he had caught her attention.

“Don’t you remember Trillian, before the fire?  You had a life!”

“No…nothing before.  There was nothing before the fire…”

Damon let out a chilling laugh.  “I’ve bought you Nathaniel.  You will always be mine!” Damon sneered as the last wisps of Trillian’s ghost left Nathaniel, her hand that had been holding on to his.  She was looking up at him, a sad helpless look with her hand outstretched.  Maybe Damon was right, Nathaniel would never change.  He, too, belonged to Damon. 

It seemed to Nathaniel an eternity to think this thought as he stared at the ghost of the woman he loved and had destroyed while trying to save look back at him as if crying in her heart for him not to give up while knowing he would. 

“No,” Nathaniel said coldly, “she is mine, and I am free.”  Nathaniel grabbed Trillian’s ghostly hand and swung her behind him onto the back of Korrben.  He drew his sword and kicked his large horse into a charge.  Korrben jumped forward and hit the ground running.  Nathaniel swept his sword across Damon’s shoulders and thundered away.

                        *                                  *                                  *

He didn’t look back and he didn’t see Damon’s body shudder and disappear.  He didn’t see Damon’s head turn around and glare at them as it disappeared into the mist.  He didn’t see the eyes watch them ride into the forest until they were the last things left to disappear.

Trillian didn’t speak until they had finally stopped late into the night to get some rest.  She dropped silently from the back of the horse and stared at Nathaniel on the back of a gigantic descendent of some great warhorse.  She saw the man had the same type of eyes.  They were silver embroidered with gold, yet these eyes were untroubled by the storms that tore though Damon’s eyes.

“Who am I, Nathaniel?” Trillian looked up at him, lost.

“I suppose I should tell you the truth, seeing as how you don’t remember.”  Nathaniel sighed and slid to the ground.  He spoke slowly.  “You were Trillian.  You died many centuries ago.  Unfortunately you lived at an unlucky time.  It was unlucky because I was there, unfortunate that we met.  You were pulled here because you knew me.  Damon called you, and here you are.”

“Ok,” Trillian said, irritated that he hadn’t answered her question.  She was so tired.  “So… who are you?”

“I am an orphan and Damon is my brother.  I don’t really know where we came from, but, when we were young, Damon always took care of me.  One day he told me he was leaving.  He’d always had a fascination with magic and said he wanted to become a mage.  I had noticed, but didn’t really understand it at the time, that Damon had a craving for power.  When I came of age he returned to me and asked me to help him in his quest for greatness.  I was still young and naïve.  As I got older and he became corrupted he used his power to keep me from seeing through him.  He sent me back through time to find people of great power or knowledge and he would set up their death.  I never knew that he killed them; I could never remember the last person I’d met.  The person I’d condemned to die.   Then I met you.  It was different with you.  I always thought about you so that I could never forget you. 

“One day I was caught in a fire trying to save … someone.  Damon called me back before I was hurt.  Being called back so suddenly returned all my memories long enough for me to send Damon into hiding.  I lost my memory again after that.  Damon’s magic is strong, but I had learned, that at that time I was stronger.  However, without constant resolve, or perhaps due to my grief or even the position of some distant star, he was again able to overpower me.  I suppose he’s been trying to rid himself of me since then, but I hadn’t seen him again until today.  Seeing him, or perhaps feeling you, returned my memory, and I remembered how to be strong.   I thought that poor dead man back at the lake was he.  Now I wish it was.”  Nathaniel fell into a silence.  Trillian waited a couple minuets before questioning further.

“Why?”

“Because this means Damon’s still alive and still very capable of stealing other souls.”

“What does he want with me?”

“Simply put, he wants your strength for his own.  You are a very strong person, or else you would not have returned to me.  Perhaps he truly feels betrayed by me, and it is only revenge.  Perhaps he was just jealous that I was happy, that I’d found a peace that he’ll never be able to have.  Perhaps he was jealous that I had overpowered him, but it really doesn’t matter.  He knows more than me anyway, and he will win.” 

There was another long pause.  Nathaniel stared off into the trees and Trillian stared at him as she pondered over what he had just said.  They stayed that way for a long time.  She wanted to know a few things before she made up her mind about this.  About how much of it she really believed as it all seemed fairly incredulous.

“Why did the horse know where to go and why are your wolves so…strange?”

Nathaniel gave her a sidelong look at the broken silence.  “Long ago they were genetically engineered and now have a sort intelligence.  They were trained to work together, the horse and the wolf.  They seem to do well enough.”

“Oh, I see, though I still can’t imagine why they thought up that crazy combination.”  Trillian was disappointed that he still hadn’t given any useful information, or even anything interesting.  “Why does Damon want more power?  To what end?”

“I don’t know.”  Nathaniel was becoming despondent.  He muttered something else and turned away from her. 

Annoyed she tried to turn him back around, but her hand passed through him as though he wasn’t there.  Nathaniel shivered.  Maybe it was she who really wasn’t there…

“I really am dead..?” she said softly.  “So be it…”

Nathaniel turned back to her suddenly and looked at her, worried.  “No, don’t do this.”  Her voice was getting softer.

“Why..?  I’m dead…I shouldn’t be here…nothing, nothing to live for.  Ha! Live.  Right…”  She was standing now and had a sob in her voice.

“Trillian, believe me, you are alive!  Your body may be dead, but your spirit is here, you are here.  Please, I couldn’t stand losing you again.  Please stay?”  He stood up and held his hand out to her.

“Goodbye Nathaniel.”  Her voice was just a wisp and he could no longer see her in the dark though the eastern horizon was starting to brighten.  He heard her voice beside his ear.  The last thing she said before she lost herself in his powerful gaze, “goodbye, my love.”  Before he could say anything more she had given him the strength and power of her soul, but without the chill that had previously accompanied her touch.

                        *                                  *                                  *

Trillian was running through the forest.  This time her breath was not clogged by smoke; the pain of fire did not cloud her mind.  She was, however, still very, very cold.  Always so cold, running without knowing where she was going, yet she was at peace with herself.  Abruptly she came upon a large, beautiful azure lake that sparkled in the sunlight.  She couldn’t see the sun, but it reflected off the lake like a thousand diamonds.

She stood by the edge and it occurred to her that it was the same lake where she had found Nathaniel.  There was a single, very important difference to this lake.  This lake was not dead, not like the one she remembered.  This lake was full of life.  More life, it seemed, than it could possibly hold. 

She looked down at her hands and gasped.  They were burnt, charred black and flaky.  Her scorched hair fell around her and her leg buckled, causing her to fall into the water.  As she fell she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the water.  In it she was unmarked, unscathed and smiling in a happy sort of way.

She fell into the water and it wrapped its cold fingers around her.  It was so cold that it burned.  She opened her eyes with a start and realized she was trapped under a burning beam in her apartment bedroom that was filled with smoke.  A man with silver eyes rushed in and to her side as a back draft enveloped him in its sweet embrace.  Almost as quickly as he had come, Nathaniel was gone.

Trillian was back on the shore of the lake, kneeling, crying.  She knew not how long she stayed there.  It could have been seconds, it may have been centuries.  A hand touched her shoulder, warm and solid.  She looked up with a smile and stood.  Nathaniel embraced her and the warmth so long denied her filled them both.  It would shield them throughout eternity from even the sharpest cold.