"Holt" by Kerri Williamson(DemonLlama)

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there was a young dragon called Holt. He had just broken up with his girlfriend, a lovely but moody silver wyvern who couldn’t put up with his hairbrained schemes and lack of ability to think things through first. So, he was feeling kinda dejected. He went over to the next mountain peak to watch the game (I dunno what it was a game of, what sports do dragons and Gryffins like to watch?) with his buddy Catbutt the Gryffin. He got a little… tipsy, and made a bet on what colour underwear the opposition was wearing. And lost (it was purple with green spots.not neon pink as predicted). But Catbutt was also …tipsy and the confusion over who lost was resolved by Catbutt swapping a rather attractive Genie ring for some of Holts bellybutton fluff.Fair trade? I dunno, you decide. Anyway, that’s what happened and Holt flew off back to his cave, minus some of that pesky belly fluff.

The next morning, Holt woke up only for his nostrils to be assaulted by the tantilizing aroma of….goats. Holt could not resist a large juicy bit of goat first thing in the morning, and the village int the foothills had obviously replaced the last herd. So, Holt flew down as quickly as possible, before the villagers, who were very protective of their goats, to the point of being selfish, woke up.

He stuffed his snout with lovely wonderful goats, and any other tasty little morsels he could get his talons on. Unfortunately, he gave himself indigestion. To make things worse, he couldn’t fly, as his puny little wings had enough trouble carrying him, let alone the weight of a whole goat herd. So, he couldn’t escapewhen a horde of angry villagers, alerted to his presence by a loud belch, confronted him with pichforks and burning torches. They shut him in a stable and then rather foolishly went off to see how many tasty morsels the greedy dragon had left them for breakfast.

Holt wasn’t bothered. He just burned the door down and managed to sneak back to his mountain somehow. How a huge bright neon yellow dragon could burn down a door, and then amble causully through a village full of hungry humans and up the side of a mountain with out being noticed is beyond me, but he managed it.

He arrived back at his cave to be met by Catbutt. Unfortunatly, the ring he had swopped for fluff had been stolen from Aladin, who had noticed and was not pleased. He wanted it back, and as Catbutt preffered to avoid confrontations, he wanted to get it back off Holt. Who had left it in the village. He rather stupidly flew straight back down to the village, whose inhabitants still hadnt noticed he was missing. Still, they noticed the neon yellow dragon ambling through their vaillage this time, and got out their pitchforks and other pointy objects.

When the leader of this angry mob waved a Spork in his face and ordered him into a small stone building, he decided it wouldn’t hurt to be locked in with the villages entire supply of, erm, alcoholic beverages for a while.

He drank til it began to run out of his ears and nostrils( not that much, he was full of goats after all…) which caused him to sneeze. Flame shot out of his nose and set the alcohol alight.

He ran around in a frenzied panic for a few seconds, before plunging his burning snoot into a barrel of what he assumed would be water.

Unfortunately, it was vodka.Holt was blown sky-high, and landed in a pile of dirty socks back at his cave. Needless to say, it was a rather unpleasent experience (not least the sock part), and holt vowed to never,ever watch pay per view cable again.