"Creature of the Night" by Imelda Weijers

Don't you need an e aftyer corps?

I enjoyed the visit and looking at some of your art work.

Then leaves his corps, an empty shell,
and vanishes in the night.

Imelda Weijers replies: "Thanks, you're right. That's one of the typo's my spellchecker doesn't correct, because corps is a correct word too."

*raises an eyebrow at above commenter* You correct her spelling and then do a typo yourself? Lol! Good rhyme and meter, and the descriptions are quite effective.

Imelda Weijers replies: "Thank you."

Vampires I new they where around.

Nice poem.

Sounds like someone i know , great poem.

*waves* 'ello, nitsy picksy me again. Have just two for you this time.

'satisfied' and 'night' don't rhyme. Final t/d is a difference that Dutch doesn't make, but it's how native English speakers distinguish between, for example, 'bed' and 'bet'.
*takes off geek glasses*
Sorry, the tiny, tiny things like that just really irk me in poetry.

And that very last line is, by my count (and that's far from perfect, so get a second opinion ^-~), one syllable longer than the other last stanza lines. I'm not sure if you meant for that, but it threw me off.

Other than that... Every now and again I stumble across a vampire piece that I like. This is one of them. As with most of them what I like isn't the theme so much as the skill of the writer. There's fairly little one can do with vampires to make them original, but that all aside. You've got a very strong metre in this. Try reading it aloud, it flows very natural and easily.

Imo, it adds to the atmosphere of the piece. You don't tell the reader much of the background or the characters, but what you do tell is perfectly mysterious -- just like I, at least, prefer my vampire pieces to be. Leaving so much to the imagination doesn't always work, but here it does. ^-^ So, how does the flow add to the atmosphere? Gives me something else to imagine. Not sure I can explain how or why, but it makes me imagine a different type of character than I would have if your metre had been choppier.

It's a very imaginative piece (in that it calls on the reader's imagination) and a very vivid piece (for the same reason). I really, really like it when people write something that provokes the reader's imagination like this and still writes something that's so lovely to read. One of those 'less or more' situations, pretty much. Very, very nicely done!

Imelda Weijers replies: "Thank you for your comment. I'm always interested to hear what people like and don't like about my work and why.

I know 'satisfied' and 'night' don't really rhyme, but to be honest, I don't really care. It's close enough for me ^-^.
I also know the last line is one syllable longer than the other last stanza lines, but again, I don't really care. Besides, if you say 'vanishes' fast enough you'll hardly notice the difference ^-^.

I try to keep the flow of my poems as natural and easy as possible, but I don't mind if it's a little off at some points. I'm not aiming for perfect flow or perfect rhyme, and if people don't like them that way, that's their problem. I write because I enjoy writing, not to please others. Sure, it's always nice to hear someone tell me they like my work, but if they don't like it, that's fine with me too. It's impossible to satisfy everybody's taste, so imo the best thing to do is satisfy my own taste first and just be glad if someone else likes it too."

Good! Gave me a bit of a chill.