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Kortnee Bryant

"Who´s Going First" by Kortnee Bryant

SciFi/Fantasy text 18 out of 18 by Kortnee Bryant.      ←Previous - Next→
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The title of this story is a running joke at the RP table. It generally panics the players and makes us do stupid things. This is the first time it was used.
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←- Tone Deaf (revised) | Faerie Tales -→

            The heroes are standing outside of a room.  The bard is looking nervously around and not wanting to offend the party’s thief by asking if she’s sure that there are no traps but remembering the last room they walked into.  The mage saved her the trouble.

            “You’re sure there are no traps on the door?”

            The thief leveled an icy glare at him.  “Do you question my talent?  I can just let you go first down these hallways from now on.”

            “I’d probably find the traps better than you,” the mage said caustically.

            “Alright, stop fighting, both of you,” the bard said.  “Blaming her for not finding a well-hidden trap is not going to keep me from getting hit by that cone of cold spell and it’s not going to help her find if there are any traps on this door.”

            “I’m not fighting with her, I’m just making sure that little miss light-fingers here puts her larcenous craft to good use.”  The mage pointed at the thief.  “I didn’t want her here in the first place but since she is here, she might as well cause us not to get hurt.”

            “First of all, you never go in first so you’re never going to get hurt.” The bard started to inch between the fighting party members.  “Second, you can’t do this so stop being so hard on her; she’s saved us from getting munched several times and you owe her for getting you into this dungeon in the first place so stop fighting with her.” 

            The bard turned to the thief.  “You’re sure there is no trap, right?”

            “I’m good at my job,” the thief looked down at the floor.

            “So you’d be willing to go through the door first, right?”

            “Of course I’d be willing to go through the door first but I think the spell slinger should be the one to go first.”

            “I’ll go first, if you want me to,” a soft voice behind them said.

            “Calen, you’re the healer, of all of us, you have to stay healthy,” the bard turned and patted his face.  “But thanks for the offer.”

            Suddenly, in the air around them, like the pulsing of a heart a voice asked, “Who’s. Going. First?”

            “Who said that?” the thief whipped around and looked into the darkness.

            “It wasn’t anything magical,” the mage said.

            “But it was a good question,” the bard said. “Are either of you going to do anything?”

            The mage shook his head and the thief looked sheepish. 

            “Fine, I’ll do it.” The bard braced herself and yanked the door open.  When nothing happened, she walked into the room.  Nothing happened in the room and there was a door on the other side.  “Since neither of you trust the other, I’ll go see what’s on the other side of the door.  Wait there for me.”

            The bard walked across the room and opened the other door.  She peeked into the room and saw a skeleton with a long robe and a staff.  She walked back to the other room and looked at the mage.  “I think we found what you’re looking for.  There’s a robe and a staff on the other side of the door.”

            “Great,” the mage said and started into the room.  He looked like he was falling upward!

            The bard grabbed him before he could fly up to the ceiling and hit the spikes that were covered with a green liquid.  She shoved him out the door and followed him out.

            “What was that?”  The bard looked at the mage.

            “The rooms glowing blue,” the mage shook his head.  “I should have known that it would be a magical trap.”

            “But what is it?” The bard asked again.

            “It’s a reverse gravity spell.  I’ve heard of them but they are far beyond my capabilities.  I don’t think I could even get rid of it.”  The mage shook his head.  “So close to our goal and we are stopped by my inexperience.”

            “Did I just hear that you want to turn back?”  The thief looked at the mage in disbelief.  “After all those skeletons, the goblins and the TROLLS?  We fought our way in here so you could get those bloody items and now you want to turn around and walk away?  Uh uh.”  The thief turns to the bard.  “You seem to have all the good ideas.  Can you find a way across?”

            “Wait a minute,” the mage said suddenly.  “How come you didn’t get pulled up to the ceiling?”

            “It must be my shoes,” the bard looked down at the slippers she’d found a few weeks ago.   “They must have a spider climb spell cast on them.  I hadn’t noticed that before.”

            “You have slippers of spider climbing?” The thief looked at the bard in awe.  “I’ve heard of those.  Do you know how easy those things make getting into second floor windows?”

            “Ah, yes, our wonderful thief, always thinking of things to make our situation better,” the mage sneered sarcastically.  “If you can’t add anything useful to making a plan, don’t say anything at all.”

            The bard clenched her hand into a fist to keep from smacking the mage.  The thief had probably had one of the best ideas in the game, err, dungeon.  “Julian, what would be useful to, say, walk across this room?  Do you think something that would help someone walk up the side of a building?”

            “Well, obviously that kind of magic would be useful but I fail to see what we can use to, essentially, walk across the ceiling.”

            “Just watch me for a minute,” the bard said.  She walked over to the wall and put her foot on it.  She closed her eyes and hoped this would work.  She put her other foot next to the first one and looked down.  She was standing parallel to the floor!  She continued to walk up the wall and did the same thing to the ceiling.  She was upside down!  She had an idea.  “Hey Theresa, jump up and grab my wrists.”

            The thief looked puzzled but jumped up and grabbed onto the bard.  The bard held onto the thief’s wrists and walked along the ceiling, holding her several feet off the floor.  The bard dropped the thief about ten feet away.  “The rooms not much bigger than that,” the bard explained.  “I can carry each of you across the room and you won’t have any problems with the spikes.”

            The mage nodded.  “Sounds like a good plan to me.  Who wants to go first?”

            Theresa looked at the mage.  “You’re the one that wants the stuff over there.  You should go get it first and we’ll follow behind you and help if there is any trouble.”

            “Sounds like a plan to me, Julian?”  The bard walked down the wall and looked at the mage. 

            “That shouldn’t be any problem,” the mage walked to the door

←- Tone Deaf (revised) | Faerie Tales -→

24 Sep 200245 Julian the Mage
I was only like that because the thief hit me more often than the enemy, couldn't find traps and stole my staff every time we went into a dungeon.

P.S. really funny story. why isn't it published yet? Sorry I didn't read it before when you asked me to.
26 Sep 200245 Pod
I like cheese... but the story was funny too. I've heard that voice before, "Who's. Going. First?" Plus I like finding things in mages bags, they always have the fun stuff. Plus now I can make all sorts of cheese with a wooden thing one mage had. mmmm cheese.
I'ld just like to say "Windwall" might have worked in reverse gravity room... at least if you had a gnome with you.
-> D.H.

:-) Kortnee Bryant replies: "Hi Pod! Glad you could drop by. Be sure to thank the gnome for the wooden thing. Draptor, I'm not sure, but I think Windwall would have been a little bit of over kill... expecially if we had been in a forest and being breathed on by a dragon."
27 Sep 200245 Verlairian
Now you see why I stole thier stuff. I had to give them something to do besides fight each other. Besides, I kind of had a crush of the thief. She was good. Oh and Devin says hi to the bard.Lady Lark says "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..........."
27 Sep 200245 Shade
I always liked that bard, not to mention that thief. **wipes away the drool** I always had to throw in that "Who's....Going....First?" comment, really scared the bejesus out of them.

:-) Kortnee Bryant replies: "Shade, that bard is so over you! It's not like she's done anything with you since that half the other women in existence haven't done. And the kid you two have together? That relationship means nothing at all. Nothing at... Lady Lark! Stop drooling over Shade! He's married, remember? You were at the wedding... you rescued the bride... **Sighs** Well, I guess somethings will never change."
2 Dec 2003:-) Matthew T. Summers
{chuckles} boy, this scenario sounds familiar. After many, many years of roleplaying, this has definitely been the topic of discussion more than once! "You go first." "No, *YOU* go first." {chuckles} I like it.

23 Apr 2010:-) Hillary Kent
Very cute 2.
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'Who's Going First':
 • Created by: :-) Kortnee Bryant
 • Copyright: ©Kortnee Bryant. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Beholder, Calen, Julian, Lady, Lark, Thief
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 459

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Tone Deaf

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