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Emma-Jane C. Smith

"The Giant Cumquat" by Emma-Jane C. Smith

SciFi/Fantasy text 23 out of 38 by Emma-Jane C. Smith.      ←Previous - Next→
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Another cumquat story!! Not only beware the cumquat but beware the unrully thesaurus!! Muwhahahaha! ^_^ Enjoy and have a laugh!
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←- The Eight O'clock Horses | The Last One -→

The Giant flesh eating cumquat rolled out of the threatening alley searching for prey.... it sniffed the air with its green stem suspended high above its massive orange body. It grated its teeth, saliva soddening from its open maw. It let out a wailing, gurgling roar that sent the towns people into their locked cellars.

Above each doorway was a ward of mustard, the people hoping to deter the human eating monstrosity by the mustard’s strong and inedible smell.

Suddenly it picked up a scent, which was not that of the purple stanching mustard. It was the scent of humans… grinning it rotated onwards, towards the tang of its lukewarm-blooded prey. It rolled precariously down the clubbed streets, its stalk itching with excitement. The humans were so close, just behind the door of the tavern.

All of a sudden the door collided open. A shadow gloomed the doorway, casting a cavernous shadow over the giant cumquat. It congested. Then, quite suddenly, it began to tremble, first its stalk and then the rest of its missive body.

Out of the doorway toddled a man, though lacking in any largeness of physique, was enshrined in armour that glistened with watery ferocity in the bickering torchlight. The man raised his fruit peeler portentously.

In unsighted panic the giant cumquat reeled away, back down the obscure alleyways from where it had come. Its stork turned into a green icicle shivering in the deep freezer part of a fridge-freezer. It knew that it had to get away. Its archenemy had finally tracked it down using his shortsighted sense of direction.

There was a squeak of a roar behind the cumquat as the small constructed warrior ran after him, his shoelaces securely tied in place. He trumpeted forward, flaunting the peeler in obverse of him.

The cumquat turned down an alley with no exit. It turned aqua with fear. It spun to visage its antagonist.

“Noooo!” the cumquat yelled as the miniature hero strode forward gallantly, peeler in hand.

Suddenly, the man tripped. One of the small man’s shoelaces had worked itself free! He fell with a crash and a plonk of armour, which scattered in all instructions. On the ground lay a small pink polka-sprinkled alien, vainly clutching the fruit peeler in its hand.

The giant cumquat stood… err… sat… err… stopped rolling there for a few moments in surprised realisation before undulating quickly away. It couldn’t believe what it had just witnessed and was going home to call his psychiatrist immediately. Perhaps he’d eaten a bad human, catching a bad case of delusion. It knew there were many rotten humans and that he should have heeded his mother’s admonition.

The pink polka-dotted alien didn’t follow the giant cumquat, knowing that his secret identity had been discovered. A small tear trickled down its downy furry cheek. All was lost for another day. He would have to keep on fighting to collect enough cumquat zest for his galaxy famous cumquat jam. He was determined to get the zest so he could enter the 5161512th annual cumquat jam contest.

The giant cumquat’s days were nonentitied.

The End

←- The Eight O'clock Horses | The Last One -→

25 Feb 2006:-) Anne M. Leath
Woot! First comment *rumba*--I wish I could rumba!

I emailed you your crit separately however I wanted to let you know that I did not think I would enjoy a story about miscreant fruit quite so much! It lightened up my day I tell you! 2

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "Glad to know! Makes me feel special! *huggles*"
6 Mar 2006:-) Megan Jackson
YAY! More cumquat stories, I love cumquat's, there so cool. My day that started good and deteriorated from there to depressingm is now a good day. I'm looking forward to the next diary entry though.

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "Glad you liked it! ^_^And..er..yes... I have been a little lax in writing my diary entries.. will have to remedy that soon! But before you see that you might like to read the next stories that will be appearing. They're going through now! Won't be long! ^_^"
3 Jun 2006:-) Rachel 'Arrowfire' Morgan
More cumquat stories please! These are hilariously funny! When you get some cumquat jam, could you please send some this way? It sounds great... *grin*

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "*hands you a huge pot of cumquat jam*Enjoy!"
20 Aug 2006:-) Kim Schoonover (Darth Maul´s scary sister)
Well, that was odd...

Psychiatrists are best at making people go insane, I think... O_o?

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "Mostly... but then there's me. I make most people insane. I even have made myself insane!! O.oMUWHAHAHAHA!!! ^_^"
1 Nov 2007:-) Christi-Anna 'Mistress of the Seas' Castonguay
Rock on!!! I love it!
poor little alien dude :`(
Interesting, this time the cumquat was running...rolling... moving at a high velocity(!) to escape. The other anecdotes portray cumquats as fearless.

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "Well that’s because this mutant cumquat was created imperfectly.... meaning he’s a little strange in the head. The rest of my cumquat hordes are fearless and manic warriors ^_^

Yay for Emma taking over the world! MUWHAHAHAHA!!!"
10 Feb 2009:-) Heidi Hecht
Heehee...I kind of feel sorry for the poor hero. I hope he gets to peel enough monster cumquats to enter that contest. Anyhow, I am enjoying your cumquate tales. *Goes to look around for more*

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "Don’t worry there will be plenty of more... not long to wait!"
26 Nov 2009:-) Tom Draco Noir Taylor
First the Killer tomatoes, now-Kumquats AAAARGH! I suspect the Mutant ’Quat only ate bad people, for fear of indigestion. The same thought may have passed through the minds of the Lions in the lion’s den about Daniel. because-*wait for it* YOU CAN"T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN!

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "ummm..... HA HA HA? ...errr.... lol"
26 Nov 2009:-) Tom Draco Noir Taylor
Oh BTW_ I noticed a teensy error- you wrote "it’s stork" when you meant " it’s stalk" Of course it might carry around a stork- who knows what goes on in the mind of a mutant giant Kumquat??

:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith replies: "True very true! Thanks for catching that! ^_^"
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'The Giant Cumquat':
 • Created by: :-) Emma-Jane C. Smith
 • Copyright: ©Emma-Jane C. Smith. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Alien, Cumquat, Fruit, Giant, Peeler, Stalk, Thesaurus
 • Categories: Extrateresstial, Alien Life Forms, Fights, Duels, Battles, Humourous or Cute Things, Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Warrior, Fighter, Mercenary, Knights, Paladins
 • Views: 1040

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