Lauren is the supreme leader of an extremist cult of fourteen year-olds and urges you to join (yes, there will be milk and cookies)!
Elfwood User Name: latkinson2  Page: http://www.elfwood.com/~latkinson2
Published material at: Written stories as latkinson2: [Go!]
Published material at: SciFi Fantasy as latkinson: [Go!]
 <-- Personal smiley...
Hi, I am a dynamic figure often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees and using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferious army ants. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic and I can go cross-eyed at will. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small objects with deadly accuracy and I breed prize winning clams. I don't perspire. I do commisions for free. I'm open to new ideas. My common catch phrase is, 'Why is there a fungus where there wasn't a fungus before?'. I aspire to be a human toaster oven...
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