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Christy N. Kassler

"Fairy Cage" by Christy N. Kassler

SF&F Picture 5 out of 10 by Christy N. Kassler
 
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This is a poem about a group of fairies who are captured by humans
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Fairy Cage

They prod and poke

As if it were a joke

To have captured one so fair

They smile and say,

“It’s always the way

With such a find so rare”

She sits stock still and wishes ill

Upon those who keep her caged

She paces at night

When there is no light

As she walks around enraged

She’s in a swoon because she knows that soon

Her rescuer will appear

And when he does come

Her heart starts to drum

A song they both hold dear

He shatters her bars

And breaks the jars

Of the others and me

She holds him near

And we have nothing to fear

Now that we are free

←- The Faerie Queen | Immortal Skin -→

DateNameComment 
6 Apr 200445 L. Shanra Kuepers
*clacks tongue* Format, format. (as you might notice, that's a rather large pet peeve of mine)

This poem... well it's nice, but it lacks structuring. It'd make the poem stand much stronger if you divided it into stanzas.
Also, there's a slight problem with the rhyming scheme:
"As she walks around enraged
She’s in a swoon because she knows that soon"

now that is not only break from the usual rhyme, but the second sentence has a completely different rhythm. It's a shame, imo, because it's a very good poem otherwise.

It has good imagery, vivid scenery, good rhythm and rhyme for the most part. It's a good poem, but it could be better.
And I'm absolutely certain you have the skill to make it marvellous ^-^

Meh... And I know how hard it can be to rewrite poetry. Biggest writing nightmare I've faced to date, actually. So feel free to ignore me entirely! ^-^
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About 'Fairy Cage':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Christy N. Kassler
 • Copyright: ©Christy N. Kassler. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Capture, Jar, Cage, Fairy, Faerie, Fay
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries
 • Views: 408


More by 'Christy N. Kassler':
The Faerie Queen
Evening Star
The Way Home
Lead Me In to Darkness
Elven Fair
Immortal Skin
The Dream Weaver
Morning Star

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