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Rian Sanderse

"Lavilia Starfire Chapter 1" by Rian Sanderse

SF&F Picture 5 out of 29 by Rian Sanderse
 
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Lavilia is a spy in Moron Naur, she is spying everyone, she tries to gather information about what they are going to so in war. rewritten a bit (6th january 2005)
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Lavilia Starfire Chapter one; Stuck in Moron Naür.


Lavilia looked around, her mission, among other things, was to keep an eye on things. There had been goblins stealing weapons and money. She hated to do this, but Boron had ordered her to do so, to refuse, was almost suicide. Not that he would kill her that easy, she had proven her use for many time. Anyhow, she only had to do it for today, it was an inferior task. Usually she was the one who took care of the fight training. That was more her thing, fighting was her best quality.

She leaned against the wooden wall of one of the surveillance houses and pulled her grey hooded cloak further over her eyes. It completely covered her body, and didn’t show the rest of her clothes, except for her brown boots with the bells that made a tinkling sound when she walked. The goblins here in Faran wanted her to have these, so they were warned when she came closer. She was not like other dark elves, they all killed goblins, but Lavilia killed them every time she got irritated.

Lavilia liked wearing tight clothes, because they made it easier for her to fight, but most of all she liked her cloak, it made her a bit invisible and she didn’t want to be seen

Like it isn’t bad enough I am stuck here. The worst thing here, besides the smell, is the fact that I have to call myself Morgana, because my own name is would stand out too much to blend in, She thought.

She placed one foot against the wall, her knee up and crossed her arms over her chest. She just hated Faran. Being here in this bad smell, and where there was few light, because clouds always covered the sun, felt unnatural. The air was full of smoke, produced by all the fires in the smithies and goblin camps. The earth was dry, and every step made black dust go upwards. Next time Narolas asked her to do him a favour she would definitely say no. She should have said no to this assignment, being a spy in Faran was not Lavilia’s idea of having a nice time. Narolas asked her, and they were friends, so she said yes after all, but the whole being around here made her mad. She felt her blood race within her, rage tried to take her over, but she took long, deep breaths. This was not the time for idle emotion.


Disappointing him would be better than this! Spying on Faran, and everyone in there, especially Boron, the dark lord,she thought, is the worst thing that I have ever done.


She watched some Goblins walking down the road. They didn’t carry anything that could be stolen, so she looked away again. Goblins were disgusting creatures, smelled horrible and their skin was brown and pimpled. They wore few clothes, usually only a little rag around their hips, which was covered in mud. Lavilia turned her head, she hated Goblins, and she didn’t want to be covered in their smell. All elves, even black elves, hated goblins. Goblins hated elves just as much, so it was pretty mutual. Lavilia was pretending she was a black elf; that was her way to fit in.


The Goblins were talking, Lavilia listened. You never know, maybe they would say something useful. She thought.


They were talking about a captured elf. “Too bad Boron is going to kill her, she is pretty and stuff, her long red hair, and those huge brown eyes,” One of them said

“Yeah, she was weird,” another answered. “Screaming to all those Goblins and everything.”


Lavilia paid much more attention now, there were not so many red haired elves in Second Earth. Two, to be precise. She listened if the Goblins said anything else useful, but they were just talking about how Boron was going to kill her. Lavilia bit her lip, what if they found out who she really was? That wouldn’t just be bad for her, but also for Lavinia. She took one lock of her black dyed hair and looked at it like it would give her an answer. She couldn’t leave her twin sister, who was so dear to her, in the hands of this dark lord.

Lavilia looked around and walked away, to her cottage. She wouldn’t be here for a long time anymore, so she couldn’t really care for the stolen weapons. When she was inside of her house she washed the dye out of her hair.



A little time later she left again. On her way to Moron Naür to free her beloved sister. Her hair felt soft and familiar now that she had washed all the dye out. Her cape covered her hair and the rest of her body completely, for now, but the bells at her boots still made their tinkling sound. The Goblins she met along the way avoided her when they heard her coming, they didn’t even dare to look her in her eyes. Lavilia knew why, she had killed more Goblins than any other black elf, she killed them like usual people killed bugs. Goblins tried to avoid black elves as much as possible, they were much mightier than they were, and they liked to show that by killing goblins. Lavilia was the worst, Goblins sometimes even started to run as soon as they heard the tinkling sound of her boots. She didn’t want them to stand in her way. She grinned to herself for the look in their eyes. Stupid Goblins.


The black portals of Moron Naür rose in front of her eyes. As always, there were lots of guards. They kept the prisoners in, and the rest of the world out. Their clothes were plain; they were brown and made of simple cotton. They had a belt on which a sword and an axe hung, both at one side. The guards looked suspiciously at Lavilia. Lavilia looked on of them in the eyes and made a move with her foot. He saw the silver fire in her eyes, and heard the sound of the silver bell, and stepped aside.

Lavilia marched through the corridor. The dungeon was a nasty place. It was quite a huge hall, which wasn’t strange for Boron always had many prisoners and martyrs. It was dark inside, the only light came from torches that were placed in stands. The fire wavered and made scary shadows on the walls. Some people were screaming in pain, some only cried in silence. Special racks hung on the wall, showcasing an array of specialized torturing tools. They were showed to the new prisoners as soon as they came in to make them scared even before the torture started. Lavilia had seen it all before so it didn’t hurt her eyes anymore. She had reached the doors of the special hall where new prisoners were kept. She threw the doors of the dungeons open.

Everyone looked up

“Well Morgana, glad to see you in our middle again,” Boron said.

Lavilia gave him a quick glance, and looked at the back of the cell where a girl was hanging in irons. Her red hair was hanging down, for she had her head hanging down. She wore a plain white skirt and a baby blue shirt. Her feet were bare, the guards probably had already taken her shoes.


“Yes Morgana, we have captured one again, an elf, she was probably trying to spy on us. Narolas is still trying to get in my system, pretty funny huh? As if he will ever succeed.” Boron laughed.

No he never will, Lavilia though with sarcasm before smiling. “I don’t think she is a spy, she looks way too friendly. She can never fit in here.”


“You are probably right, Morgana,” Boron said. “As always.”

“Of course I am right,” Lavilia answered. “I am one of your people, I am paying attention.”

Ignoring Lavilia’s answer, Boron reached out and pulled the girl up to him by the hair.

“What would an innocent elf like you be doing in the middle of Faran? A sweet innocent elf like you should be walking on the fields of Danarien,” He said.

“Is that necessary?” Lavilia asked.

“Yes I think it is,” he replied.

“I am just looking for someone, to say I am sorry.” Lavinia’s voice was filled with panic.

“For who?” Boron inquired pulling harder.

“My twin sister.” Lavinia’s voice was now also filled with pain.


“Let her go,” Said Lavilia. “She won’t last long over here, with all those Goblins and black elves walking around.”

“No I will keep her to torture her for fun,” Boron retorted.

“Let her go,” Lavilia repeated. “You will be way to busy soon enough.”

“For some torturing I will make time,” Boron assured Lavilia.

“Trade her.”

“No,” was his answer.


Lavinia understood this Morgana person was trying to help her although she looked pretty rough, and she wasn’t an elf that walked in the light. That was pretty obvious. The irons started to hurt her wrists, and Lavinia got more and more hopeless. There is still a chance. Maybe, maybe she knows Lavilia. Lavinia thought, Do you know Lavilia? She asked the elf telepathically.

“That is none of your business,” Lavilia answered out loud. “And stay out of my head.”

The Dark Lord glanced at Lavilia. “She is telepathic?”

“She is,” Lavilia answered.

“What did she wanted to know?” Boron asked.

“If I knew some kind of elf named Lavilia,” Lavilia answered.

“And? Do you?” Boron asked.

“I do.”


“Is she okay? Where is she?” Lavinia asked in relief.

“She disappeared years ago,” replied Lavilia.

Lavinia looked despaired.

Boron smiled. “You always know how to kill hope, don’t you Morgana?” He laughed. “That is what I like about you.” He looked at Lavilia.

Lavilia looked back. A silver fire was burning in her eyes.

Lavinia looked astonished. Then she saw the warning in Lavilia’s eyes.
Lavinia closed her mouth and put up her desperate face again. “Please don’t hurt me,” She begged. “I will say anything you want, please don’t kill me.”

“O, don’t worry I will, kill you I mean, ” Said Boron, he grinned vile to Lavinia.

Lavilia just couldn’t stand those looks anymore. “Just let her go, she didn’t do anything wrong,” She repeated to stop him.

“Morgana, when are you going to accept I won’t let her go?” Boron asked.

“I will never accept that,” Lavilia answered.

“Why not?”

“Because I care about her.”

“Since when do you care about anyone?’ he asked.

“Since she is my sister,” Lavilia yelled and threw of the hood of her cape. Her red hair was visible now.

Boron looked astonished.

“And now you showed me your real you, showed me you don’t trust anyone, not even me, who has been your most loyal black elf, not even a little. I decided I won’t be trusting you nor serving you. You would feed me to Goblins if that would get you in a better position,” Lavilia yelled, she was getting quite pissed.


“Morgana, your name isn’t Lavilia right?” Asked Boron still astonished.

“Actually it is,” Lavilia answered. She hadn’t noticed all the guards who came in. On Boron’s sign they grabbed her arms. That was quite a mistake, since they hadn’t realized Lavilia was angry. Strange things had happened before when Lavilia got pissed, strange powers that no one knew about had possessed her, but no one had dared to ask her what had happened. Boron wasn’t that scared of Lavilia, but he just never asked.


Lavilia raised her arms and threw all the guards away. They bounced against the wall and stayed lying where their buts hit the ground.

Boron looked even more astonished now, but he didn’t let Lavilia finish her being mad act.

“Give me the keys,” Lavilia yelled.

He seemed to wake up “No,” he simply said, he walked over to her and grabbed her arm. Lavilia tried to free herself but that didn’t work the way she wanted. A burning pain spread through her arm.



←- Lavilia Starfire Chapter 13 | Lavilia Starfire 2 Stuck in Moron Naür -→

DateNameComment 
1 Feb 2005:-) Justine Lim
Yes, Lavilia can indeed act quite well. ^__^ Few nitpicks:

Just a minor little thing: you could do with seperating the chapter/chapter title from the body of your first paragraph.

‘…they were carrying a bad smell around.’ <- Perhaps you meant, ‘they carried a bad smell around?’

‘She listened if the Goblins said anything else useful…’ <- ‘She listened for anything useful the Goblins might have to say’ ?

Hmm, interesting twist with Lavilia being sisters with the captive. *goes off to read the next chapter*

14 Rian Sanderse replies: "Why does everyone starts reading this when I am busy doing a mayor rewrite 21. Thanks for your comment though, the stuff pointed out in here is already gone 14, I do appreciate this though. I am glad you like it
Love Rian"
11 May 2005:-) Tracy Squires
hi,Thanks for welcoming me to the comment exchange- this story is definatly interesting, but I find you repeat things alot, especially names, I'm a little confused, though I'm easily confused but I am currious to read the next part of the story.

1 Rian Sanderse replies: "The names are complicated, for there is a difference between Lavilia and Lavinia, my editor wants me to change that, but I just love these names. I am glad you like this, and I am really working hard on this (with an editor indeed). Love Rian"
23 May 2005:-) H. ´Kaji´ Frazier
Hm, an interesting start to a story. Your sentance structure could use a little work, and try not to repeat things! (ei: "Her red hair was hanging down, for her head was hanging down") Rather, try to replace it with something else, say "Her red hair fell over her face, for her head was hanging down". See what I mean? ^^ Anyway, a good start, I'm interested in reading more when I get the chance!

2 Rian Sanderse replies: "I am working very hard on my structuring with an editor, though I do not always have so much time, and she is a busy person as well. So maybe you should check it in half a year or so, I suppose I will have done lots of improving on this. Love Rian"
15 Jul 2005:-) Jessica Warner
Very interesting beginning. I like the feeling of tension in the scene where Lavinia is held prisoner. I didn't find myself getting confused between Lavinia and Lavilia, I think you could keep the names, they're nice! Do you write directly in English, or translate it from Dutch?

1 Rian Sanderse replies: "I write directly in English, if I would write in Dutch first my grammar would be much worse. Dutch and English are very different in grammar. I do sometimes have a word in Dutch and then I use my dictionary to translate. But most of it is written directly in English. I love the names as well, that's why I don't want to change them. Thank you very much for your comment. Love Rian"
14 Aug 2005:-) Kidnero
Read it and liked it.That the flow is broken up in some places doesn't matter that much, as the plot is so intriguing. Now on to chapter 2.

42 Rian Sanderse replies: "I am still working on this, but I have been very busy lately, so I have to make a rewrite again and send it to my editor. It is getting better and better.
Love Rian"
22 Aug 2005:-) Andrew Law
sweet story!! i like the names to...i must say that iv herd faran before...but it was the name of a soldiers horse...oh and he had a bad temper...i think he'd prolly like his town lol oh, and then names being sorta closely spelt and stuff is cool, and twins do sometimes have names that are alike (that ws the word i wanted before..)
If english isnt your first language, your doing a great job! well done!

62 Rian Sanderse replies: "The good language is mostly work of my editor. She's amazing! Thanks for your nice comment.
Love Rian"
9 Nov 200545 Shara Lynn Krans
I love the story. I can tell your first language isnt english though. one of the prases that bugged me was "in the few light" instead of few the word dim, murky,low, or perhaps dreary would even work. Few represents a quantity when you really need a word that describes quality.
12 Dec 2005:-) Stephen D. Westbroek
Since you stopped by my neck of the wood, I thought I'd drop by yours. I like this so far. You have a good start for this story, and it's really good English considering that it isn't your first language.

I agree that the names can be confusing, but I'm sure there could be a way you could make it easier to tell them apart to be able to keep them. If they're twin sisters, it doesn't surprise me that their names would be so similar.
14 Aug 200645 Kristopher Brown
This was amazing! *Skips off to read Chapter 2*
27 Aug 2006:-) Anna Kroon
I really like the story! and I do understand you about the English, it is not easy to get all the grammar and stuff but you're doing well!
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About 'Lavilia Starfire Chapter 1':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Rian Sanderse
 • Copyright: ©Rian Sanderse. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Coming war, Spying, Getting caught
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Fights, Duels, Battles, Orc, Goblins, Trolls, Trollocs...
 • Views: 249


More by 'Rian Sanderse':
Lavilia Starfire chapter 5
Lavilia Starfire chapter 11, War
Lavilia Starfire 2 Stuck in Moron Naür
Nadrir's Death
Lavilia Starfire chapter 6
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Laurelaei 2
Lavilia Starfire Chapter 13
The three 2 Demni's stones chapter 2

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