"Organic Programmer" by Sihe Megara Lioz

"2B or not 2B- that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous writing,

Or to take Psalms against a sea of troubles..." The newly created parody iguana monologued.

"I don't think this will be next big thing, Anika," Allambie said sceptically.

"You said that about the tap dancing cockatoo, and it's still popular today, you silly G.E.H[1] !"

 Allambie started to cry.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Sometimes she felt bad about programming her, not because she didn't like Allambie, but because it felt wrong to play god with a human/elf/G.E.H. "Well that's the Cloud-bus, all be off to my lecture about organic programming," she picked up the iguana and stepped up to the cloud bus. When she sat down the university student next to her asked "Are you Anika Loomerie?"

"Yes, I am."

"Oh, that's great! I'm going to your lecture about Organic Programming, so now I can get some one-on-one advice."

"Well... what's the most complex thing you can program?"

"Mouse."

"You just change the program a little so you make a higher form of mouse."

"Isn't that what Carlos Rhubarb, the founder of Organic Programming, said?"

"Yes it was."

"If one calls a rhododendron by any other name, would it smell as sweet?" The parody iguana interrupted.

 "What's that?" the student asked.

"Oh, that. It's a parody iguana. Unfortunately it only does parodies of a lost play."

***

At the lecture, a nasty question came up.

"Excuse me, Miss Loomerie. Is it true you programmed the first G.E.H? How go you feel about your achievement?"

"Terrible. I can't get my head around making something you can to talk to, that you can know its feelings. That's what all Organic Programmers must be aware of, the fine line between Inventor and Creator. The Inventor makes something to help people or for the hope it would turn into something that you can use to help people. The Creator makes something for creations sake, or to prove how mighty they are. As Carlos Rhubarb said ' A good programmer must invent, not create'. Thank you."

She stepped down from the podium, picked up the iguana, and walked to the Cloud-bus. When she got home to her menagerie and Allambie, Allambie whispered in her ear "Thank you."