"A Game Fit For Gods" by H D Leonard

"How many times do I have to tell you, Thor, that this isn't Dungeons and Dragons, you don't get rods of lightning."

Thor's eyes glowed red with anger, "I want my rod of lightning," he huffed. "I want to zap the fools. It'll serve them right for trying to close down my electricity plant."

"Look," said Baldur, forever the diplomat, "do you have a Natural Disasters card? You could use that to zap them with lightning."

Thor looked at his cards, studying them intently. "I hate this game," he yelled throwing his cards on the ground and standing up. The rest of the gods ignored him. He looked angrily at the playing board then back at the others. "Can't we play D&D or something. I like D&D at least it's fun."

"No way, we ain't playing any more of those dreadful role-playing games especially not live action."

"Oh just because I killed you," Loki grinned at Baldur.

"You cheated, I had the Immortality Merit and everything," he said a bit miffed.

"I never cheated, I killed you fair and square. It was your fault for taking that vulnerability to mistletoe."

"How did you find out about that anyway?"

Loki grinned evilly in response.

"You must admit though it was a plain nasty stopping him from getting resurrected..."

"Nowhere near as nasty as that poison snake thing you did to me," he retorted. "Now that was dreadful, besides I did you's all a favour. No one liked Baldur anyway, he was such a sap."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Boys, boys, the game please. We're still playing if you remember. Neptune your go."

"It's Poseidon," he protested as he took the dice and rolled them. "Double sixes, wow, I'll just go and move these humans here over to this big thingy here."

"You can't put your men there, it's the moon, it's just for decoration."

"Can too, I got double sixes and the technological advance card. I'm putting my men on the big thing."

"Why?"

"Because I can."

"Finished your turn yet," the god of the underworld asked hopefully.

"Just a moment I have a famous quote card. I get 200 experience points for that if I play it now, added to the advantages of my..."

Hades snatched the dice and rolled them, tutting under his breath. "They never roll well for me. I'm gonna blow up Disneyland with this cards," he threw down the cards and the other gods gasped.

"Why you going to destroy Disneyland?"

"Because the stupid idiots went and named a dog after me. A stupid dog. If it wasn't insulting enough that they named the smallest, stupidest most furthest away planet after me, they went and they named a stupid cartoon dog. At least Ares is making a million out of his company. But do I get any money for having a dog called after me? I'm gonna blast Disneyland and then I'm gonna blast all the Disney studios."

"But think of the children."

"So what..."

"You are not really getting this God of the Underworld thing are you? It says on the rule book, page 357, paragraph 10, line three that the god of the underworld is not allowed to..."

"Oh shut up Zeus, just cuz you pulled the head god card."

"Fight, fight, fight," Ares taunted grinning.

"Oh shut up, I'm not going to punch him one."

"What, you chi... agghhh, I can't believe you punched me. Ow."

"Way to go Plu... I mean Hades. You really showed him."

"Shut up or you're next."

"I'm scared..."

"The game, the game boys. Remember the game."

"But it's boring, I preferred the one where we got to go down to earth and interact with the people and have all those cool animals and everything," the head god complained.

"You mean where you got to seduce all the women," Hera said sharply.

"I never..."

"Oh come on everyone knows about why you liked those games," Loki added with a grin.

"That's not true, I did role-play as well."

"Yeah right. Role-played using all your fancy powers to show off and then get the women so awe struck that they could do nothing but drool over you. Calling Seduction 10, Charisma 20, look at the cool magic I can do come to bed with me isn't role-playing."

"Like you were any better Apollo. I saw you with all those women."

"They were plot lines."

"So were mine."

"Um what about the game..." Baldur butted in.

"What about it?"

"I FOUND A LIGHTNING BOLT CARD!!!"

"Watch the..." they all screamed but too late, Thor had crashed into the board, leaving but a crumpled heap of the world.

"Um sorry."

"Great, now we're going to have to start a new game."