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C. ´Liari´ Seidel

"Beyond Redemption" by C. ´Liari´ Seidel

SciFi/Fantasy text 4 out of 26 by C. ´Liari´ Seidel.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is the story that came out of the poem 'Serevyn's Plaint' It will be edited when I get around to it. NEWS: I am currently world-building for this story, so this will be coming down eventually and replaced with a much more detailed story.
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←- The Ballad of Auralee | Summer Snow -→

    This wasn’t supposed to happen.  That was all that kept running through her mind as she stared in disbelief at her bleeding hands.  She turned them this way and that, examining them from all angles, gazing at the red, red blood dripping from the slashes across her palms.  She looked up at the male standing over her, his blade bright and unforgiving.  Her fathomless eyes were dark and wide with pain and incredulity as she half sat, half sprawled on the incandescent steps.  She took a deep, shuddering breath and spoke.

            “Rinariel, why?” 

The wavering agony in her voice touched the male, and he lowered his blade, and looked helplessly into her eyes.  “Serevyn….  You knew it was not permitted... I cannot let you pass...  I am sorry.”

Her lips parted as she keened, the wind rising and whipping her hair and clothes into frenzied motion.  In one fluid movement she was on her feet, her eyes wild, springing at Rinariel.  He immediately stepped back and raised his gleaming sword, ready to strike.

"NOOO!"

Rinariel spun as a bestial roar erupted from behind him, and was confronted by the snarling countenance of Azariel.  Dark wings were spread wide as Azariel leapt toward Rinariel, catching the dazzling blade in his hands and preventing any strike at Serevyn.  Rinariel fell to his knees before Azariel's rage, his head bowed in humility.

"My lord...  Forgive me, but she may not pass, and you must return to the Inner Sanctum.  Judgment starts soon, my lord, and surely you do not want to displease the Council any more than is already done?"  Rinariel's voice was almost pleading, begging Azariel to step down.

Azariel growled once more, but his eyes were now more anguished than angered.  He flung the blade away, and stood towering over the crouched form of Rinariel.  Azariel's voice was harsh and deep when he spoke, the edges rough and pained.  "You shall not harm her.  Judgment is not yet passed, my friend, and I would remind you that I still hold sway over my power."

"Yes, Lord Azariel.  It is noted."  Rinariel shook slightly at this reminder as he remembered what kind of power Azariel held.  His mind flashed back to the Battle, where Azariel had defeated the Chaost Lords.  When Azariel had called the lightning wraiths everyone ran; friend and foe alike fled the malevolent creatures spawned in the storm-filled skies.  The battle had been won easily after that, with the moral of the Chaostian armies gone with the death of their Lords.  Rinariel remembered.

   Azariel gestured impatiently at the bent figure in front of him.  "Go, Rinariel.  Tell the Council that I shall arrive in due time.  They will give me this at least."

Rinariel bowed and left, wishing in his heart of hearts that it did not have to be this way.  Before he was out of sight he turned once, and nearly sobbed; the silhouette painted against the dying light was a single shadow, the two made one.

 

 

←- The Ballad of Auralee | Summer Snow -→

DateNameComment 
11 Dec 2004:-) Jschmidt2
Somehow I don't seem to have all the trouble your readers have. They all say: It;s too vague, not enough info, blablabla. I could simply read it and fill in the missing gaps.

A girl wants to enter a place (seat of the counsel?) but is stopped by an angelic guard. She is wounded, the the angel-lord comes and saves her by taking her soul with him forever.
Character images are easiliy made as well. the girl had simple clothes, the guard had armor, and the lord had some sort of robe.
Maybe it's a bit difficult to understand, but it's good. At least it makes the poem better. (read it again)

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "*shrugs* Yeah. I think I mostly wrote this for myself, because of the poem, but I posted it because people wanted to know more about the characters... *blushes* It makes sense in my head."
15 Jan 2005:-) Tom Shine
I agree with Alice. i would really like to see this lengthened so that it can emerge as the great piece it has the power to be.

It is powerful, and beautiful, but fleeting. Like a dream, it is filled with exotic goings on and names(loved the names BTW!) but happens so fast and ends so abrubtly that it is easily forgotten and cast aside afterwards.

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "*grins* Actually, I agree with you completely. This started out as just the beginning, but then no one seemed to really like it, so I pushed it to the back burner. I have a little more to it, but not as much as I would if it were something I were actually working on. maybe I should take it up again..."
29 Jan 2005:-) Jkelley2
While I have a sense of what's going on here I don't really know why it is happening as of yet 2 I do like the way you've phrased things but for the moment I'll have to wait for more before i can really comment with anything usefull hehe I do like the inner turmoil of the characters though, please do continue it 2

14 C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Just for you!"
17 Jun 2005:-) Artemis Heart
Before commenting I had to sit here, gaping at the fact that I hadn’t commented on this directly after reading this. Was I tired? Ill? Seriously wounded? I can only guess since I cannot remember. This is marvellous, though I agree that more information and description could be given to the characters, there is something about the vagueness that intrigues me. And I think, in some ways, it suits the enigmatic characters and their strength – almost as though we aren’t meant to have the secrets of their noble, beautiful pasts, but simply these few snatches as an angel (?) falls from grace. The final image was a hauntingly sweet.

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "*is exstatically happy* I like this one, and you've basically put across why. You're close enough in the angel thing; they're creatures that I haven't yet defined."
12 Sep 2005:-) Keith D. Brooks Jr.
The imagery in this tale was fantastic! What was Serevyn's crime? There seemed to be slight religious overtones to the whole prose that reminded me of stories in Christianity. Very well done. 2

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Her crime is loving Azariel, and making him love her back. I'm uploading the full version of the poem soon, and that'll explain a whole lot more. It's kinda an epic poem, but I hope people'll like it. You should come see it when it's up, it'll give you a much better idea of what's going on. Oh, and yes, there are Christian overtones; for this I drew on my knowledge of angelology and various different stories."
15 Nov 2005:-) Emma-Jane C. Smith
Hmmm... very well done. Would LOVE more back story and more description of their surrounding and what was happening. Look forward to hear more!

(and it had better be soon!)

2

23 C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Read Serevyn's Plaint, then this will make much more sense. ^_^"
18 Nov 2005:-) Alyssa Bradshaw
Sweet... Very impressive leaves a lot to imaginantion which i love.. I totally respect your style cuz your reaaaaly good!!

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Thank you, that's very nice of you!"
15 Jun 2006:-) Monkeyflower
Wow... this beautiful ending really does leave so many unanswered questions. I'm off to read Serevyn's Plaint!

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Thank you! Be ware; Serevyn's Plaint is a very long one."
18 Aug 2006:-) Bianca ´Bia´ Tangermann
Hmm. I had a bit of trouble at first figuring what's going on, but I think you saved it very well towards the end. But this SCREAMS for elaboration in a longer story!

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Bwahah. Working on it."
8 Nov 200845 Anon.
i love it except 4 one thing........ are Serevyn and Azariel in love?

:-) C. 'Liari' Seidel replies: "Yes, they are, tragically. "
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'Beyond Redemption':
 • Created by: :-) C. ´Liari´ Seidel
 • Copyright: ©C. ´Liari´ Seidel. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Azariel, Demon, Love, Plaint, Serevyn
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders..., Fights, Duels, Battles, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 477

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