"Broken Heart, Lost Soul Chapter One" by Elizabeth A. Hefty

Like most stories this one starts out happily enough. Don't let this confuse you however. It will soon become dark enough to satisfy your sadistic needs. Do not laugh at my calamity. Do not pity me. I need neither. I suppose I should start at the beginning since that is where most stories begin.

I was born Ril Lycanes, Daughter of Darkness, Child of Fey, Seeker of Mother Night. This may seem an unusual name to you humans who now read this but you know nothing of the traditions of my people. Few do now. The Fey are all but extinct, lost to death and slavery until our line is almost forgotten or so diluted by Non-Fey blood to be indistinguishable from a human. Bah! Such things disgust me more than you can imagine. But I am getting off track here. Forgive me. I was raised in a small village of Fey, placed on the edge of the Dark Woods. My parents were called Mati and Fara. Mati cared for her girls like any mother, perhaps even more. She doted upon us as if we were tender flowers growing through ice and snow. Fara was a typical Fey father, somewhat distant but still tender towards his children. And Ixion. My beloved sister-friend. She was some years younger than me but we were as close as any two blood sisters ever were.

My growing up years were uneventful. Seasons passed, I sacrificed to the full Moon and watched the Wise Women dance and preform their rites. I yearned for the day that I would receive my tattoos and take my place in the community. I played with Ixion, singing songs of praise to the Mother and making flower chains to wear in our hair. I worked alongside Mati in our garden, raising vegetables to eat and magick herbs to help the Wise Women in their healings. Fara taught me my languages and how to write the Holy Letters. All in all I was content.

My time of maturity arrived. I joined the other young women in learning the steps to the Dance we would preform. Dance was an essential part of our culture. We danced to celebrate, danced to mourn, danced to worship and sacrifice. The Dance of Maturity signaled the end of the girls life and the beginning of a womans. It took place not only around the Sacred Fire but up in the sky too. It was an intricate and complex dance that showed off our skill and beauty, given to us by Mother Night.

I remember the way my hands shook as Mati helped me dress for the ceremony. White fabric was wrapped around my body in a tradition as old as our people. My back was left uncovered, my large black wings left to hang free so they could help me dance. Mati tied my ebony hair, slightly away from my eyes, leaving most of it free. She cupped my face in her hands, holding me so close that our noses touched. “Now my child. You will dance. You will dance for Mother Night. Forget all the others. Dance for the Godess.” She brushed her fingers over my cheekbones, tracing invisible lines. “Soon you will have your tattoos. Your life will be given to Her and my daughter will be a woman. When did this happen?”

I smiled and put one of my hands over hers. “Over the years Mati. I have learned much from you.”

“Remember this Ril.” Her voice was soft, quiet and filled with a sort of sad longing. “No matter what happens you will always be Fey. You are a member of a proud people. No one can take that away from you. Never.” Her eyes were glazed and I knew that she had Seen. My Mati had been blessed by the Mother with the gift of Sight. At times she Saw into the Future as if Time Herself had swept aside the years and Shown her a glimpse. And often I wondered what made her eyes so sad. What caused the intense sorrow that seeped into her soul at times and cried out to be ended. I never asked though. It was not my place. Still at this moment I wanted to know of what she spoke. Then the time was over and she smiled at me. “You look beautiful Ril. Your soul shines through your eyes. Don't ever let that die.” She took my hand and led me out of our home and towards the Sacred Fire.

Other women stood there, their own mothers behind them. At a word from the Elders the older women stepped back We raised our hands to the star studded sky, the visible of Mother Night and began. At first the dance was slow, an invocation to the Mother to bless us. Then the tempo of the drums increased and so did the speed of our steps. We whirled around one another touching hands to shoulders and moving between bodies. The air was filled with the sound of our wings slicing through the air and fabric lightly slapping against skin. Up, up, up we went 'til we were above the fire, the heat of the flames barely reaching the bottom of our feet. At last the drums stopped and we held our position in the sky, wrists crossed above our heads. All of us were breathing hard and our foreheads and necks were covered with the bright sheen of sweat that came from a dance but there were bright smiles to be seen.

We descended to the ground and gave each other sister-kisses before going to the Elders. Each in her turn knelt and received the blessing of the Elders. “Welcome my daughter to your people. Be proud and hold your head high. Be blessed by the Mother and follow Her. In this is life.” Then we stood and faced our families. Voices were raised in praise to Mother Night, loud and joyous. We were now women of Fey.

That night after the feasting I laid down on my sleeping mat and stared up at the ceiling. I had expected to feel different. To be different. But I was still Ril Lycanes. Nothing had changed. “Ril. Are you awake?” The youthful voice of Ixion cut through my thoughts.

I rolled to my side to look at her and smiled “Yes sister I am awake.” I studied her carefully, wishing she would let me draw her one day. She was much paler than I. Her skin a soft icy blue, her hair the color of the mountain flowers far away, a pretty purple that shone in the light.

“The dance. You did beautifully. I hope I do as well when it is my time.” She rested her chin on one hand in a graceful pose.

“Ach sister you will do better. I have no gift for dance. I believe my Life Calling is something else. Though we will find out for sure tomorrow.”

She nodded, something obviously weighing rather heavily on her mind. “You know that you'll be given a lifemate soon.”

This was not news to me. I'd known this for some time. I had shown no interest in finding a husband on my own so the Elders had decided to choose one for me. It mattered not to me in the least. It was better to be with a man who only mildly cared for me than be alone. At least to my way of thinking. “Yes Ixion. I'm well aware of that fact.”

“Don't you care?! You should wait for love Ril.” Her voice was somewhat strained. “Don't you want love?”

I shrugged carelessly. “Love. What is that? Sister I want to learn the magicks. If I find someone to love then it will be as Mother Night wills it.”

A frustrated sigh came from the other sleeping mat as she turned her back to me. “Be that as it may. I say you should wait.” She was quiet then and I was thankful. I didn't like being so sarcastic with her or rude but I had no taste for talking of my love life. I had yet to take a lover, highly unusual for a Fey. But although there had been a few young men in our village who had been attractive enough none had truly captured my fancy. To me love was more than a simple meeting of bodies. It meant a bond of souls. That is what I craved.

The next morning the village again gathered around the Sacred Fire. The Elders sat facing the young women. The WiseWomen watched us carefully, feeling auras and smiling. They each held the tools needed to place Life tattoos on our bodies. Most would be placed on our faces but a few would go on arms or backs. One by one the others were called forward and blessed. Their tattoos were given and they went to stand with their families. All of them went forward until I was the only one left. At this point my hands began to shake again. “Ril Lycanes” My name. It took several minutes before I stepped forward, dipping my head in respect. “We have spoken for some length about your calling. We see in you something very powerful.” Silence came and I wondered what Fate had for me. “You are to be a WiseWoman. Come and receive the blessing.” The rest of the words fell deaf to my ears. This had been what I had longed for my entire life. The old women stepped forward and prepared my dark skin to be marked. The knives were dipped in black ink. The only color that would show on my deep violet skin. I lifted my face towards the sky, eyes closed. The pain was sharp but temporary and I did not cry out. The WiseWoman marks are the largest, covering almost the whole face on both sides. Across the cheeks, over the eyelids and up towards the forehead. When they were done I had two wolves, facing each other lending my features a fierce quality to them. I tipped my hy head towards Mati, Fara and Ixion then took my place amoung the WiseWomen. I would learn from them and soon become one of them. This was my destiny amoung my people.