"Victims of War" by Adrian H. Wood

Very, very nice!
I really enjoyed the alliteration in the first lines, and the imagery throughout.
'Over corpses crows now veer'
is just perfect. It put a clear image in my mind.

The only thing I'd change is the last line:
'These; true victim's of this war' since I think victim's should be victims.

Anyway--great work!

Adrian H. Wood replies: "ah yes, thos darn little mistakes one always overlooks...anyways, cheers for your kind words and glad you liked the images, though my own favourite stanza is the one describing the soldiers trudging through the blood. dunno why but the words seemed very vivid when they appeared on the computer screen. hm...maybe it's just the hangover at work"

Great way to portray the carnage of war in all its terrible splendor . . . *applauds*

Adrian H. Wood replies: "muchos gracias"

Very well written my friend! Great imagery in there, even if it wasn't something I would rather imagine. I think it is important to show the world what war really is, and you did a great job of it. At least in my opinion. ^_~

Adrian H. Wood replies: "yeah i thought there was too too much glorification of war out there, so i had to write something true and down to earth. thanks for your kindness!"

good poem, great subject, good rhyming, umm, what she said, points to Joelle's comment 'bout the last line.

well done on this one, lots of rhymes, and none forced, or out of place, so good effort there, unglorifying war is just what this poem does, and i believe war should not be glorified either...

anyway, good job on this one....

Adrian H. Wood replies: "thanks good sir, that last-line thing will be edited out soon. cheers for reading!"

Now I know why your style's so familiar. I've been in this library before. I like this one, I haven't done the single rhyme per stanza before, but it works. Too tired to leave intelligent comment (never do, but hey).

Adrian H. Wood replies: "hehe, yeah you've been before. i think you commented on 'dwarven drinking song'. anyways, glad the poem worked for ya. and no worries, i never leave intelligent comments even when i'm trying..."

how sad! how terribly sad! Honestly, I realize your little bio said you like to tell stories on an epic scale, and certainly wars are epics, but perhaps attempting to make to make them real with words in to vast an endevour.

Maybe that didn't make sense. Let me try this: war is big. It's huge and aweful and fearful. But in all honesty it isn't the writers that wrote about the 'big war' which so amazed me as those that wrote about the 'little soldier'. Further, it wasn't the 'little soldier goes to and must endure war' which was so amazing about the story either. It was the life outside the war that defined them; the endurance, the relief, the simple joys, and the easy forgetfulness. Those seems most amazing. =) Perhaps your epic scale could include some of those?

Just so you don't think that I'm such a kook writing about obscure novels or perhaps refering to bad Hollywood films, there are a couple of specifics which did very well of this topic: 'All's Quiet on the Western Front' by Hemingway, and lol..I can't believe I'm going to write this, but oh well...if you're brave (and have read Russian material before!!! *essential to read it all in order*!!!)...'War and Peace' by Tolstoy. If neither of those are to your liking, there's another Russian, Lermontov, who wrote 'Hero of our Time' was very good, though this novel is unfinished it is definitely worth a look.

I wouldn't be recommending such things if I didn't think that you were already doing well as a writer. You've got a lovely view on the written word and seem to be able to put together pieces with a certain flare. Good work, I look forward to reading more =)

Adrian H. Wood replies: "  You're absolutely right in saying that it's an overzealous endeavour to try to realistically portray war, in all its cold and cruel glory, and I was by no means trying to accomplish such a feat. Consider this more like my answer to all those fantasy writers embelishing war with a heroic flare - which there are simpy too many of - and an (albeit unjustifying but sincere all the same) tribute if maybe to the great war novelists.

I also agree that it's the stories of the individuals that are truly grand, but I thought I'd keep this poem subjective - kind of like a bird's eye view from the top of the battle field. I went in to a little more specifics and tapped into religion in the final stanza just to add a bit of depth.

Anyways, thanks a lot for your great comment and your reading suggestions, I've read 'War and Peace' (which is fantastic by the way), but I've yet to read the other two. Just please tell me there's a translation of the Russian one "

Daaaaaaang you have a real knack for word choice! love it love it LOVE IT. Of course, morbid is my middle name so I may be a tad biased on this poem...Anyway, Just dropped in here after seeing your comment on someone elses site, glad I did! I am off to read more...cheers thanks a lot

Adrian H. Wood replies: "Hehe, thankies! Yeah I guess I must have a bit of a morbid site as well, quite a few of my stories seem to be taking a pretty bloody turn these days, lol. Thanks a lot for dropping by!"

Morbid. Good. but MORBID! Am i right in guessing (random stab in the dark here) that you have a little bit of a dark side?!

Adrian H. Wood replies: "Everyone has a dark side! Just check out Murderer's Trial or Bad Connection if you want to see mine... MUWAHAHAHAHA. *evil cackle*"

MORBID = GOOD ... and you damn well know it!

Very very nice poem, *prints it out and sticks it on the wall* Huzzah!! *waits for applause* YOu have a nice vocabulary, and nice choice of words. it made me think of a picture by an artist in the woods, one of Annah Hutchings's pictures...

YO RULE MON!

Adrian H. Wood replies: "Morbid ain't always good... trust me. But in this case it might just be *burns his nose on the ceiling from holding his head too high*

Oh and less I forget: *applauds loudly at watching you print off my poem and stick it on your wall* Now I'm off to check out Annah Hutchings... sounds very intriguing!"