Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 96596 members, 20 online now.
  - 29797 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Meghan Brownjohn

"The Darkness" by Meghan Brownjohn

SciFi/Fantasy text 2 out of 5 by Meghan Brownjohn.      ←Previous - Next→
 
Tag As Favorite
 
A girl wakes up in the middle of the night to find a stranger in her room.
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
←- Alastrine | The Draconians (?) -→

Most stories start off with once upon a time, but mine doesn't. My story doesn't begin in a fantasy world with princesses and knight doing extraordinary things. It doesn't start off happy and pleasant. It begins in the middle of a hot, sticky night while my room was submerged in a blanket of darkness as heavy as the air I breathed. I woke panting in my tangled blankets to small sounds. Whispers in the dark. Looking around my room in an increasingly panicked state my light brown hair, stained black in the darkness, fell across my sweat-soaked face. I hid beneath my blanket like a small child, hoping that the voices would pass me by, like all those other nights. Yet knowing the voices were louder than usual dampened those hopes considerably.

The air became heavier while I stayed consumed within the folds of the comforter, until I could no longer take in the insufferable breeze. It was like the very air was on fire. I peeked out enough that I could still breathe without fainting. Standing there in that darkness surrounding me was a shadow. A shadow amongst the shadows. My eyes widened in fright, terrified of the tall figure cast in black. He held out his hand, beckoning me to follow him.

"Take my hand," the shadow rasped, "there is no time left."

"W-w-what do you want?" I stammered.

"Take my hand!" it said again from the depths of my room. It stood there, waiting, hand still extended. Suddenly there was a scream from outside my window, making me jump 2 feet off my bed.

"Hurry!" he rasped again, bringing my attention back to his hand. I was scared of him, but more so of the scream that had echoed the promise of a darker night than the one we were shrouded in. Slowly I got up from my bed as the blanket fell away to reveal my blue teddy bear clothes. I reached out and took the safety he offered over the oncoming danger.

Hand in hand we fell back into darkness and nothingness.

←- Alastrine | The Draconians (?) -→

DateNameComment 
9 Dec 2004:-) Sarah Harmon
Very well done! It made me want more, great job Meghan!

7 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "thanx for commenting sarah. i should write more to this, but ... as i am right now, i don't think it is possible for a couple days or something. sorry about the wait though 1 i liked your pictures though! they were good"
20 Dec 2004:-) Irati Andone Villalain
Wow a really good story! The beginning is very original and deep hehe. It so mysterious... I'll be waiting 4 the second part. I prefer to think that the the boy is a bad guy 12Keep on with your work your are doing it great!

1 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "thanx... hmmm maybe the boy being bad is better for the continuation... okay... cool. thanx for the idea 1 i'm going i'm going. working on the second part isn't as easy as it may sound. lol. i'll contact you when its up."
2 Feb 200545 Larissa Image
How far have you gotten on the continuation? If you need help, just ask me...unless, of course, my thoughts are too bizarre... Usually they are. Ack, remind me to write something new; I haven't written anything for about a month! Maybe Persy...or Rory...or Alixandra...or Scarred...or....Eek..

:-) Meghan Brownjohn replies: "man i thought i replied to this one already"
28 Jun 2005:-) Magan Sue Hughes
That was amazing...Please write more, this story could go just about anywhere!! I hate when people leave me hanging then my over active imagination starts making up things to follow and its just oh... I just hate waiting!!
~Arrie

13 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "sorry i've been trying to write more to it, but all the second pieces i write just don't have the same flavour as this one. sounds weird i know, but i'm just testing out different ideas. thank you for commenting on my work. really. i appreciate it. 1"
28 Jun 2005:-) Stephanie R. Schauer
Wow, creepy and bizarre, kind of like a weird nightmare. I liked this too, it was interesting. Loved the imagery.

12 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "thanx for commenting. ya it is kinda creepy isn't it. i guess i use imagery alot because its like the only way i can describe what i see in my head. 1"
22 Apr 200645 Anonymous
Are You Meghan brownjohn whos dad is Colin Bronjohns brother???? Because i hate Colin Brownjohn...

28 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "i'm sorry, i regret to inform you that i've never heard of a 'collin brownjohn', but thank you for commenting nonetheless. have a good day."
7 Jul 2006:-) Dragonflies2
This is great. the imagery was beautiful, the suspense tangible, the atmosphere was fantastic, i felt myself being drawn into the room. Truly fantastic.

But yet again with the mystery!!! I like it though, and although i would like you to write more, don't feel pressured, because if you can't get the same feeling as the one you have in this, then you could end up ruining this beautiful piece.

When i was a kid i was always afraid of the dark...and the bogeyman under my bed...but this time i don't get the feeling the dark is a bad thing because the girl doesn't seem bad and the guy seems pretty cool. My damn over active imagination keep making me picture an anime figure of a guy with white/grey ahir dressed all in black...though that could be because of the recent films i have been watching lol. yesh i am going through an anime phase, but i don't think i'm going to be watching beyblades and pokemon just yet hehe.

ahem...yesh i am rambling..hehe. but anyway!! loved the story, loved the whole 'flavour' of the piece as you said above and loved the tiny bit of humour there with the teenage girl in teddy pj's hehe ^_^

11 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "  ramblings quite alright. I must thank you, because not many people (save larissa) would read as many of my stories as you have. Thank you. I will keep attempting to write a second piece to this but i probably won't find anything to match. I'm fine with that though. as you said i son't want to ruin my masterpiece 1"
22 Sep 200645 The raven sheperd.
Very mysterious. You've been saying you'll continue this for an age but you haven't. Your words are as empty as a dry well. You write such good beginnings and leave us in the dark, talk about waving and carrot in front of the horses nose. Do you do this as a cruel form of torture to us story lovers?

43 Meghan Brownjohn replies: "I DID IT! FOUND IT FOUND IT FOUND IT!!!!!!! IT'LL BE UP BY THE END OF THIS MONTH OR LARISSA WILL MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP!"
18 Dec 2008:-) Meghan Brownjohn
... Larissa murdered me in my sleep....
20 Mar 2009:-) Meghan Brownjohn
I CAN’T WRITE ANYMORE TO IT! I’VE TRIED! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! All the stuff that I write has a different sound to it 8 none of it sounds like the same person is writing it... AND WHERE THE HECK DID I GET MY VOCABULARY AS A CHILD? WHERE THE CRAP DID I GET THE IDEA THAT IT WOULD BE COOL TO WRITE COMPLICATED THINGS! I CAN’T FINISH A STORY IF IT’S THAT COMPLICATED FOR EVERYTHING! THIS IS RIDICULOUS I TELL YOU! RIDICULOUS!!!!10
Page: [1] 2 3
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



'The Darkness':
 • Created by: :-) Meghan Brownjohn
 • Copyright: ©Meghan Brownjohn. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Stranger, Dark, Room, Girl, Night, Scream
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters
 • Views: 179

Bookmark and Share



More by 'Meghan Brownjohn':
The Draconians (?)
Alastrine
Only An Idiot Would Hate This Story
Prison

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Villains: *Bad* Bad Guys and *Good* Bad Guys' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'Description, Dialogue, & Action' by :-)Jessica Barnes
  • 'Writing Action' by :-)S. B. 'Kinko' Hulsey
  • 'Writing a Story, Painting a Masterpiece' by :-)Jessica Ng
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]