"Borenard enlightens orcs" by Raoul Meuldijk

Borenard enlightens Orcs

Dear Fellows, Alranil is Our Lady of Voyages and Roads. Her Ways are often inscrutable. But the keen observer will see the light She shines on our path. Once, while travelling to the lands of the poor, roadless orcs, I learned better to understand Her signs.

I had recently reanimated the Bronze Army of Gyanausin, and was therefore in the company of two hundred and thirty eight eager and devout new followers of Our Lady of Travels, Alranil. They are strong and courageous men of action, so I required some patience to explain to them the cautious, long and winding roads that Alranil paves for us. But I eventually got them on the move, and we travelled the land, making peace on roads disturbed by highwaymen, monsters and undead. I taught them many things about the spiritual and practical need for travelling. Teaching and preaching we made our way north, where we came upon the vast tundras, where winter seizes control for seven months a year.

The people that live there are a grubby lot. Near-human, green of skin and saber-toothed, calling themselves 'orcs' or some other sound one makes when regurgitating. They are simple and crude, living in huts and tents made of animal bones and hides. Their clothes are hides and furs as well, and their livestock, reindeer, lives right among them. If it weren't for the antlers, it would be hard to tell orc and reindeer apart! They certainly smell the same.

But all that is small compared to their biggest problem: They have no roads! Yes, dear Fellows, I hear you gasp with the same surprise that I felt, and share your compassion with these poor peoples. They live without the means provided by our Lady of Roads! Of course I realized that me and my strong companions were given a Task here: to enlighten the orcs with the pious building of roads. We travelled these almost forsaken lands for three days through driving snow and freezing cold until we came upon a fairly large settlement of orcs. We were chilled and asked to be admitted to their local lord's hall. The orcs looked at us with what passed for a friendly smile and seemed not to understand. They led us into a circle of cut bushes, which was full of reindeer! I started to complain about this lack of respect, but Ralgin, leader of the Bronze Army, suggested we had better make use of the warmth provided by the animals. And he added 'Master of Roads, there appears not to be a lord's hall here. Only small tents.'

So we spent the night among the animals of near-animals. I endured this with a positive mood towards Our Lady of Paved Ways, and I pondered deeply the start of our work to enlighten these barbarians. By morning, a group of orcs carrying wooden spears, antler bone-tipped, brought Ralgin and me before their leader, whose name I cannot repeat here without making and indecent sound. This chief spoke our tongue reasonably. He inquired what brought such an army in this land. Did some false king of humans offer any unwanted protection in exchange for a tribute of furs? - I told him we were not into such base politics, but worked for higher powers, bringing peace and infrastructure. I convinced him that he lacked roads. So I brought him the joyful news that we would build him a road that would lead to the next settlement of orcs. He laughed with joy, and told us that the next settlement was five days travel north-east by reindeer sled.

Would we be needing anything? he asked us, with a grin that showed the light of Alranil the Guide had started shining behind his low brow. Unfortunately it also revealed his pointed incisors. I told him we would merely need tents, food, logs of wood, gravel, shovels, pick-axes, water, squared rocks, and maybe some young strong hands of orcish labour to speed things up. The orc chief waved his arm out at the snow-covered tundra and said there was plenty of water lying around here, and the gravel's right underneath. Then he snarled loudly at the orcs around him and some two dozen orc lads approached reluctantly, obviously impressed by us, foreign wise men. I did not tell my plan of enlightening these lads with Alranil's Travels, so that they might later show the Road to the rest of their people.

For the next three months we laboured, offering our sweat to Alranil and our curses to the incompetent young orcs. All of the short days and half of the long nights we brought logs from the sparse forest ten kilometres south, cut rocks out of the frozen ground and chiselled them into paving stones, shovelled gravel over the logs and put the paving on top of them, meter after meter in the direction of the next orc settlement. Our scouts had visited that settlement, and found its inhabitants eager for Alranil's road, upon hearing that food could be transported quickly over it. They too, sent their young to help on this holy work.

Alranil send us snow and freezing temperatures, so we would not overheat with our toils. And when spring came, the frozen soil melted to mud, and reindeer herds trampled our road into the mud. We thanked Alranil to prevent us from vain thoughts of finishing ahead of schedule. Rains were sent so we could collect drinking water more easily, and to test the strength of our road. Mosquitoes grew in the puddles and ponds that had been created by the thawing of soil and rain during spring. Their stings and itches could only be cured by Alranil's healing powers, channelled through me. So, faith was kept pure among the Bronze Army, and inspired into the young orcs.

And then, at the beginning of summer, Alranil rewarded us with reaching the end or our road. At which end we found... nothing. The orc settlement was gone. None of the familiar tents, no reindeer, no annoying orc children pelting us with sling stones. We were surprised. I thought of a miracle, Ralgin thought of disappointment. I asked one of the more intelligible orc lads that came from this settlement, what he thought had happened to his village. He answered that the camp, indeed the camps at boths ends of the road, had 'of course been packed up and moved away when the reindeer herds started migrating south'. And added rather bluntly the question of how this road-thing was supposed to bring food to his family. I said that now it couldn't, which caused a bit of a stir among the orcs. That resulted in some denting of armour of the Bronze Army. But the soothing effect of the Bronze Army's muscles and my gift of speech soon calmed the emotions. However, I now had a road leading from nowhere to nowhere and my morale had sunk below a level appropriate for a devout priest. I might have become angry with the orcs and even the Bronze Army if Alranil had not stepped in with inspiration!

O Alranil, goddess of Meandering Ways, I thank You for the insight I had at that moment: that You had shown me, the Bronze Army and the orcs, that it is not the goal that matters, but the Journey!

At sundown I held a ceremony to thank Alranil for achieving the end of our road, and the lesson it taught us. Which I concluded with a lengthy sermon describing the pointlessness of having goals, as only the road to them counts. We should have peace with this truth. The orcs had peace with it, for by the end of the sermon, they were all asleep. This moment was, I decided, the right moment for me and the Bronze Army to leave. The orcs had been enlightened quite enough for the time being.