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Raoul Meuldijk

"Horse and Carrot" by Raoul Meuldijk

SciFi/Fantasy text 9 out of 11 by Raoul Meuldijk.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This was inspired by some of the pictures of unicorns I found on Elfwood }-)
I like horses, but seriously, what some people fix to their heads...
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←- Subtle Revenge | Unintended Consequence -→

Horse and Carrot

Back in the days, when growing vegetables was still a magical science...

“Oh, how very much I like carrots!”, Purny the horse thought, shivering his grey hide with pleasure as he chewed up a carrot. “I may not be Morgaine’s Siptah, but I sure know where to find my purpose! Here’s another one! Mmm...” and he happily uprooted another carrot.

Beornolf the garden gnome was coming home from his day of gardening at the nearby grounds. He was in a bad mood. “If I can find the bugger who uprooted my vegetable garden yesterday, he will be sorry to be a vegetarian! There’s no such thing as a free lunch!”

Only a minute later, he spotted the culprit in his garden: Purny was chewing a big carrot and looking very content. So content and enjoying himself, that he did not notice the angry gnome running up to him, until he was right under his nose.

Beornolf shouted up at him: “Hey you! Drop that carrot and get off my garden!”.
In his surprise, Purny reared up and landed with one hoof in a melon.
Angrily, the gnome said: “You don’t scare me with your fancy horse tricks!”.

Calming down from this rude interruption of his meal, Purny turned first his right eye and then his left to the gnome, to give both halves of his brain a good look at him.
“Hmm, an awful lot of noise and frowns for such a small man. He must be hungry.” he thought to himself. Purny said: “There’s good food here, do you want some melon? I seem to have just opened one up. Then I’ll have another carrot.”

Beornolf, who had turned very red by now, burst out: “Didn’t you hear me?! This is my garden and those are my carrots! Leave now and I may just about not turn you into a Brussels sprout!”
Purny stepped out of the melon and replied: “Do you mean these carrots are not here for me to eat? I thought everybody knew carrots are for horses. Ask the maidens that ride us, or ask the children that place them in their shoes for the horse of Sinterklaas.”
“So you think horses have a privilege on carrots, hm? Do you think there should always be carrots ready and waiting for you, hm?”
“But certainly, o humble carrot-grower. It appears to be the way of things that my kind should have carrots close at hand, all the time. It makes us happy.”
“Well, I can arrange that. For you and for your children.” said Beornolf with a smirk on his face.

Very pleased with the turn of the gnome’s mood, Purny exclaimed: “Yes, let your blessing not only be on me, but also on my foals and my foals’ foals.”
Beornolf dug up a particularly large carrot, and asked Purny to bow his head to him.
He called out a powerful horticultural spell, made a swift move, rammed the carrot point-up into Purny’s forehead, and into his genes.
“Wow...”, said Purny with a silly grin, “I feel so close to carrots now...”.
Purny the First Unicorn stumbled off with the carrot protruding from his head, dazed but happy.

Purny, and the unicorns he sired, never ruined vegetable gardens again, for they felt totally satisfied with carrots all the time.

Beornolf looked satisfied while Purny left, and mumbled to himself: “That’s taken care off. Now about this rhino that has been stealing my bananas...”




The moral carried by this story? Stupidity is only punished justly in fables.

←- Subtle Revenge | Unintended Consequence -→

DateNameComment 
9 Jul 2004:-) Suzannah Carrick
If it wasn't for the ending I would have chucked this hypothetical paperback out of my bedroom window. Could do with a more definate plot perhaps and the beginning mucked up the whole stories chances. I love the horse's name and think you have good characters - you may want to chuck mood descriptions like: He was in a bad mood.
On the other hand the style was really laid back and easy to read. The ending was really good and held the whole thing together.

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "Thanks for your firm comments, keeps me down to earth 1 I'm discovering that I can do more to bring characters to life; I tend to use them superficially to display a scene, more than a person."
10 Dec 2004:-) Sabina Roubos
Hey Raoul! This one's funny! I liked the way you described the characters in this story, it's more like a fairytale this way. In fairytales you don't read about the details of the feelings and personality traits either. I think this fits into such a short story/fable! In longer stories it's better to see a person as a person, indeed! But i haven't read your other stories yet, so i'll make sure i'll do that first!
See ya!

20 Raoul Meuldijk replies: "You make an insightful point there, which I'll keep in mind for future stories! I noticed my characters being rather flat at times, but indeed, in fairy tales they are supposed to be cliché, to paint a scene. While in romantic stories, I must try to introduce living people, with some actual development in their thoughts and experience of the world around them."
31 May 2005:-) Jessica Danielle Cannon
It was very clever, and I actually enjoyed reading the comments as much as I enjoyed reading the story - I can't think of any other words in English for carrot, by the way. Are there words for smells in Dutch? It sounds like a language with its priorities right.

1 Raoul Meuldijk replies: "I hope so. We tend to shade all our statements by adding phrases like 'a little' and using diminutives of words.Dutch uses the same words for tastes as for smells, I believe English does so too. Or by forming it with what it smells like, e.g. 'spruitjeslucht' being the smell of Brussel sprouts. Some choice in word ending, now I come to think of it: '-lucht': smell, '-geur': smell, '-aroma': aroma, -'stank': stench. And we call a skunk a 'stinkdier', literally a 'stench-animal' 1"
13 Jun 2005:-) Kidnero
I loved the story, especially the ending. The comments has also been fun to read. So, I'll give my opinion, not always that humble. In a story like this one isn't character building that necessary, but I also thought that you had too little of character in your Eros story. Also a good story, but I'll think that you do get a little carried away by the story and forget the people. As you mention yourself.

So, if you didn't write so good stories, maybe you would have more background to the people! 2

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "I tend to have flashes of a scenery and write them down. Then harsh reality interrupts with things like having to go to work, before I get to flesh out the characters and details. Time a take a long vacation and get to know my characters..."
16 Jul 2005:-) Vicci Higginbottom
Oh My God. Thats so funny. I love this one.... I seriously gotta bookmark this one. Hehehehe, unicorns having carrots for horns... explains why they're a golden color. But I love the last line:
'Now about this rhino that has been stealing my bananas...'
I burst out laughing at that one.... so funny

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "It's great to hear that my story makes you laugh! About the best praise I can get. Thanks for reading!"
25 Jul 2005:-) Marika Viklund
Bwahahahahaaa!!! That is sooo funny! What a wonderfully stupid horse... I just got this nice silly piture in my head of a carrot-unicorn! He hee... Think I might have to draw it. It was really fun reading... and that ending with the rhino. Makes me wonder what'll that turn out to be...! 1 Oh... and I'll reply to your comments on my poems as soon as I can login to my Library... doesn't work at the moment for some reason. Rrrrrr!! I'll go have some tea now... with a Lovecraft book... mmm... nice...! 2

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "Great to see you back here! And I'd love to seen a cartoon pick of this unicarrot horse 1 Tea and Lovecraft... Wouldn't you worry about what hideous Old Ones might be swirling in your tea then? Staring at tea leaves at the bottom of yyour cup is opening up your mind to their psychic tentacles...
I definitely must start reading him."
11 Sep 200545 Dehro
me again, ok, I must admit I'm writing with a big smirk on my face I just can't manage to wipe off.
great idea, yes, you're totally right when it comes to unicorns and funny-looking horns.
a very good reading and the reference to Sinterklaas simply touched a soft spot in my heart bringing back memories from childhood in the Netherlands. (normally I'm not so sentimental, but it came unexpected)

brilliant!

18 Raoul Meuldijk replies: "...and I can't stop glowing from your praise.
Yes, Sinterklaas still arrives by steam ship in our small Wageningen harbour every year..."
10 Feb 2006:-) Patricia M. D´Angelo
Cute story. My favorite part was the moral of the tales, "Stupidity is only punished justly in fables.

I found the discussion on Sinterklaas quite interesting. My understanding was that Sinter means St. and Klaas means Nicholas. I was taught that Santa Claus and St. Nick were one in the same. One of my favorite Christmas poems is The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore. He mentions St. Nick by name.

When I was little, on Dec 6th, St. Nick's feast Day, we would hear a knock at the door, but nobody would be there, and candy would be left. Then of course, he came again at Christmas.

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "The moral was an afterthought.You are right, Santaclaus and Sinterklaas are both incarnations of Saint Nicholas. The Americans claim he's from Alaska, the Finns say he lives near Rovaniemi, the Dutch welcome him from Spain. But he was actually from Turkey.Interesting to hear that he actually visits children on 6 December in the US, too.In Holland, he brings presents for the children on the evening of 5 December."
29 Mar 200645 L. Shanra Kuepers
“Oh, how very much I like carrots!”, Purny the horse thought, <- nuh-uh. Is thought so no dialogue quotation marks but italics and only one punctuation mark.

culprit in his garden: Purny was chewing a big carrot and looking very content. <- semi-colon. Provided you don't prefer a full stop.

Hey[,] you! Drop that carrot and get off my garden! <- vocatives take commas, like in Dutch. Also, sort of like in Dutch, it's 'Get out off my garden' not 'get off'. ^-~

*snicker* Love that moral note at the end. It's cute. This was a fun read. Loved Purny. Such a naive thing. ^-^ Wonderful little twist on the origin of unicorns. 'Tis great!

I liked 'a particularly large carrot', though the English you'd be looking for seems to be 'wild carrot'. (Dutch - Latin - English, if the dictionary fails) {/random}

:-) Raoul Meuldijk replies: "Funny you mention a mistake in my 'get off...'. I have been deformed at about age 15 on that one, by playing the game Get off my garden and the phrase stuck with me all that time...
I had some worries about the winterpeen description, the piece was originally in Dutch.
Glad you enjoyed it, it's one of my favourites."
22 Feb 2007:-) Invicta
Ha ha ha. Never thought of THAT THEORY

1 Raoul Meuldijk replies: "Glad to see this can be appreciated by horse fans too!"
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'Horse and Carrot':
 • Created by: :-) Raoul Meuldijk
 • Copyright: ©Raoul Meuldijk. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Carrot, Gnome, Horticulture, Unicorn
 • Categories: Humourous or Cute Things, Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Parody
 • Views: 1023

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More by 'Raoul Meuldijk':
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Borenard enlightens orcs
Loving Eros
For External Use Only
Subtle Revenge

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