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Stories / Stories / Musty Zein / Text 2 of 2 / Lilith

"Lilith" by Musty Zein

SF&F Picture 2 out of 2 by Musty Zein

A poem about a man and a succubus.

Why is it that you tease me so?
Is it because it pleases you so?
With your beauty you taunt
And your beauty, it haunts
I rue the dark day I first encountered you

My eyes are stuck on you, scared to tear them away
The conscience in my mind starts to fray
With a look you can kill
With a touch you can thrill
With a kiss you can bring me to my knees

Satanic poison is contained in your kiss,
An impending death hidden in sexual bliss
The craving I feel when against your skin,
The ecstasy I want when your teeth sink in

It’s the feeling I can’t stand, the feeling of lust
You lick you fangs, cruel succubus
As I get caught in your evocative gaze.

What I give, it doesn’t suffice
Ensnared by beauty, caught in its vice
My lips tremble as I’m slowly dying inside

So why is it that you tease me so?
Is it because its killing me so?

It must be; as you stroke me with a lustful hand
This torment you bring, I just cant stand

As I look into your eyes, I try to stay strong
But now my fate is sealed and it wont be long

I know you don’t love me, you merely tease me
Numb from reality, you take my life from me

Ruby red lips form my name

I drop to the floor, the heart within me stale

The Succubus forever takes delight in her game

←- Leviathan | Leviathan -→

Date	Name	Comment
16 Nov 2006	Emma Kathryn McDonald	Loading... Very good...great structuring too with the verses getting progressively shorter, sort of like the life ebbing away...what a clever cookie you are! Lotsaluv, Em Musty Zein replies: "Yeah, I was goin for that effect! Hope it didnt seem poorly done. Thanks for the comment.btw have you updated? I would click a link to your page but, alas, coursework beckons me so..."
16 Nov 2006	Victoria Bellamy	Loading... I can't believe I caught this. I can't read the next part of dark light now. I have to go out. I just checked new additions and yours was the first one. I love this poem you know I do. It's so well written Well done. Talk to you soon. Musty Zein replies: "So I've updated have I? About time I guess XD Thanks for the comment."
20 Nov 2006	Julia Anna Rill	Loading... great! I can't say more, it's great! I love it! I haven't read anything about a succubus in a while and your poem is definitely one of the best i ever had read so far! great job! Musty Zein replies: "Thanks, I havent seen much about the succubus on elfwood either so i thought id fill the void XD thanks for the comment"
2 Dec 2006	Taylor R Brown	Loading... Nice. Like the rhyme and the theme and all. Quite an awesome poem. Musty Zein replies: "Thanks"
19 Feb 2007	Invicta	Loading... Ooh cool. Succubuses rule and all Musty Zein replies: "Yeah, they are. Except for the soul sucking thing..."
26 Apr 2007	Alyssa R. Watson	Loading... Wow this is so evil feeling, like a dark underlay, ive been reading vanpire and horror stories lately and this really goes into that catagory. I love it! Musty Zein replies: "Thanks, I was aiming at creating something a bit sinister. Glad you like it.Oh, and if you like horror be sure to check out some H.P. Lovecraft "
2 May 2007	Fireblayze	Loading... I love how you changed the rhythm after the first two verses, now a' days you only see those who stick strictly to a rhythm outline. It's not what makes the poem, uniqness does, and this poem shows alot. applauds and leaves a basket of assorted candies Musty Zein replies: "Thanks, I think it would've been a dull poem if I used the same scheme as the first two verses. I agree with you, Id like to see a few more poets who are willing to be innovative and really abuse 'poetic licence'. Anyways, thanks for the comment...and the munchies! shoves as much candy down his gullet as possible and, inevitably, chokes"