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Aida Vicens

"Fallen Angel" by Aida Vicens

SF&F Picture 1 out of 6 by Aida Vicens
 
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Inspired by a picture by Luis Royo... Just the end of tragic angels story.
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Biomech’s son

 

 

                It seemed that her light steps never touched the ground. Most of the people who had seen her would say she was flying rather than walking. And maybe she was, because her foot lifted no dot of dust.

 

            He moved forward slowly, stumbling at every single step. His pace was heavy and insecure, as if he was made of melting lead. The world seemed to try to embrace him, and he was about to surrender.

 

            Her pale grey eyes shone like silver stars set under two snow eyebrows. Her hair was incredibly long, falling smooth and straight at her back, caressing her pale silk  skin. Tall and slim built, pure charm was flowing from her nude slender forms, surrounding her. Her mouth was half-open, breathing calm. And, at her back, two white wings were folding with a slow movement, and they were glittering, ethereal.

 

            He fell on her knees, breathing hard. His hands were smooth no more, just like all his body. His skin was now dark, something between dust grey and mud brown, full of scars and healing up wounds. Only his eyes were still the same they were before: deep brown, nearly black, looking like bottomless pits, full of night. But he cannot cry anymore. He tried to get up again, but he could not. The metal pieces set in his body shone again, just like the large metal wings that were at his back, never moving, wide and heavy.

 

            She stopped. She had finally found whom she was looking for. At the end of the street, kneeling in the middle of a cloud of dust, there was Him. She approached him as an ending dream approaches to reality, and kneeled by his side. She touched his injured skin, and stared in wonder at what humanity could do with itself.

 

            The caress of those pure fingers seemed to heal his pain. He leant his head on her shoulder and embraced her as she was embracing him, because he knew what would happen next. He felt how she gave him a soft kiss in the nape of the neck, and how a sweet tear slipped upon that kiss. Despite his awful appearance, the horrible wings and metal tubes at his back, the cupping glasses and staples that were supporting his flesh… Despite of that, someone had kissed him, embraced him, and a love tear had dampened his skin.

 

            The silence fell upon both of them, and she knew why. She felt it in every single pore of her body. Another tear fell upon the cold body she was holding, because now he was dead. The first biomechanics’ son was dead after long years of suffering. But he had gone in peace.

 

 

 

←- The Temple Under Fire - 2. Khūrsk | Mother - 1. Birth -→

DateNameComment 
22 Jun 2005:-) Jacqueline 'Jac' Tanner
Oh... My... i have been rendered speechless.


*thinks*


Oh.. i better comment. THis is such a moving piece. I can see you painting the words of the painting (do you have a link to it? i would love to see) i can see her and him. I can see his pain and her peace. ITs beautiful. The way you have written this is as if you are telling the story of a painting... you are making a painting yourself with these words (if you get me)
This is truely beautiful. and like great artwork/writing... it truely moved me.

:-) Aida Vicens replies: "*blushes* Well, thank you very much for you comment. Yes, I have a link to it, check it: http://www.sattom.internetdsl.pl/gfx/351.jpg ^^ I know the pic is way too good to describe it's story properly, but at least I tried... Whish I could have done better, but anyway ^_^"
16 Jul 2005:-) Jessica Warner
This is such a beautiful story! Your description is...just beautiful! Even when describing him, you create a fantastic image. I think you've done a very good job translating the picture (and WOW what a picture!!!) into words, because the atmosphere of the picture is the same as of this story. If I had to pick a favourite bit, I would choose the second paragraph, it's really vivid. I can't think of anything you should improve about it!
28 Sep 2005:-) Audrey Youko.Greywords M.
This is beautiful.
So very, very beautiful. I feel calm....but sad, too.
I want to ask if there's any more of this, but then again, I don't think there needs to be.
So beautiful...
29 Jun 2006:-) L. “Frog“ Janas
That's so sweet. You have a gift for saying a lot with very few words. What a wonderful job!
8 Jan 2007:-) Carly “Lhena“ Silverton
oh my god, a wave of calm and sadness just came over me, i feel so serene. iam all warm andfuzzy inside that was so sweet, it was such a wonderful combonation of sci-fi,Him, and sweet angelic fantasy, Her. i loved the cesription the whole way trough, i wish i could make other ppl feel the way i feel right now! i can barely type without feeling a sensation of love and relaxation.
14 Apr 2008:-) Nicoline Badenhorst
Wow. I can just imagine this piece at the end of a longer story, bringing it to a sharp, painful end that leaves the reader feeling helpless, lonely and totally satisfied all at once. Just a little thing: you may want to do some proofreading for the odd typo, for example: "he fell on her knees"?? You definitely should put this into a larger story. Normally, I’d say more than just the few sentences that I wrote now, but I’m afraid it has all been said. Thanks for a striking description.
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About 'Fallen Angel':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Aida Vicens
 • Copyright: ©Aida Vicens. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Angel, Biomech, Love, Death, Tear
 • Categories: Angels, Religious, Spiritual, Holy, Robots, Androids, Humanoid Warmachines, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 200


More by 'Aida Vicens':
The Temple Under Fire - 1. The Beginning
Mother - 2.The Elders
Mother - 1. Birth
The Temple Under Fire - 2. Khūrsk
Scribe - 1.The Book

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