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 Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5])

"Ode to Pants" by Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5])

SciFi/Fantasy text 8 out of 12 by Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]).      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This is the result of Rahah's typing a poem about pants, and then being too lazy to say what she's thinking and instead typing it.

And also, these are the American pants. Trousers.

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←- Moose | Otherworld's Sausage: Chapters 1-2 -→

Pants,
purple pants,
and green front, blue back,
all hanging on a rack.

Piles of pants,
more pants,
of various varieties,
all on the floor with so many holed knees.

Pants,
new pants,
as well as old, bedraggled jeans,
all with rather odd metallic sheens.

Pants,
limp pants,
or clean, freshly starched pant things,
all duct-taped to my ceilings.

Happy pants,
unusual pan


Nyon? Nyon?

NOW, IF YOU WOULD KINDLY QUIT READING OVER MY SHOULDER, BOB, I WOULD NOT HAVE TO FLAY YOU ALIVE!

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, I CAN HEAR YOU WIMPERING! HOW?! I'M AN ELF, DAMMIT!
DO NOT FORCE ME TO GET OUT MY PLASTIC SPORK OF DOOM, YOU KNOW THE ONE.

oh, you don't know the one? but then, you are Bob, so I can understand...

PLEASE, QUIT TWITCHING, YOU'RE MAKING EMERA PISSY.
its the spork that the leader of the dark side gave to

YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE LEADER OF THE DARK SIDE IS?
then again, I don't know her name myself, but for now she is effectively out of commission.
she was the one who brought together the members of the council of those who bounce off the ceiling, the very same council that I created, which you are currently a part of.

its the spork she gave to Niyarnia, high wizard of Shara, to make more... useful. the wizard made it be... doom... hence the blue aura and the oozing green goo... and its truly doom, you see, because of the wondrous way it sucks the light out of the air around it...
nifty, no?

I always have been aching to try it, you know, and the fear that you seem to be feeling right now, judging by the noises you're making, is quite reasonable.

OH, YES......

←- Moose | Otherworld's Sausage: Chapters 1-2 -→

DateNameComment 
6 Nov 2006:-) Dave Cripps
Donnald where's yer troosers?
That was funny!!

Even the bit at the end...

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "Comment From The Cat: Cool... it seems quite frivolous to me, but to each their own, I suppose... *ponders*"
26 Nov 200645 Brandi Nelson
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE LEADER OF THE DARK SIDE IS?
then again, I don't know her name myself, but for now she is effectively out of commission.
she was the one who brought together the members of the council of those who bounce off the ceiling, the very same council that I created, which you are currently a part of."

now this is one of my favorite part, because of the fact that it is saying that you are the leader, though you dont know your own name. interesting is it not?

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "But its not saying that, its only implying it. So you never know... O_o

anyhow, i love the title, not to mention the spork. see, im the chicka with the evil tutu of doom. so uh, i win? lol. off to read more! mwahahahahahahah *cough* hahahahwaaaaahahahahah*COUGH* -
...
man i need to work on that. but what i was going to say...
- AND YOU CANT STOP ME!
~im bored, dont worry, i dont always act this way. but thank you for amusing me *does the little pesent thank you dance~*laughs self silly at your amusing and hyperactive antics*"
16 Feb 2007:-) Linda M. Billson
I think pants are a necessary commodity in the world, so they deserve an ode. Which was hilarious, by the way.

1 Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "Shiny. Indeed they are.

Not everyone can pull of wearing a kilt. Whoever made pants was smart. And sympathetic toward those of use who would go blind if we saw what is covered by pants. O_o

I had pants duct-taped to my ceiling once. It was quite an interesting thing to see. Dare I ask how that happened?

The Random?-Comment-er strikes again! Ah, randomness... you really brightened up my day with this nearly completely irrelavent comment. Woot! *does a jig*"
17 Feb 2007:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Ooh, this was funny! ^^ Hahaha... I really liked this, with the Spork of Doom... poor Bob. Hahaha... *laughs to pieces*

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "*picks up the pieces and feeds them to the rabid doombunnies patrolling the perimeter*Glad you liked it. ^^"
12 Oct 2007:-) Glo 'the Bug' Bowden
Wow. I was wondering how an ode to pants could have a fantasy twist. Boy was a surprised. Random, heh, but a good sort of random. My regards to Bob. May he Rest in Peace.

Sporks...man, that's rough.

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "Indeed. Poor Bob... we shall always miss him and his trolly of sludge; he was just great in that way... O_o"
6 Jan 2008:-) Karen-Birgitte "Ellemerr" Borud
Huh. That’s pretty different from the Odes I’ve been reading lately. And yes, I’ve read a couple. English project about John Keats. Well, let me tell you, I way prefer you before Keats! It’s not that he was bad, I mean, there’s a reason he’s famous and stuff, but he didn’t have the right sense of plotting, you know what I mean? Besides, he was stuck inbetween pretty stuff and sad stuff and had a lousy childhood. Didn’t see any sporks in his works either *shocks head sadly* It’s a good thing literature is improving with the years, nay? From bright starts and sentences like "swoon to death" to sproks and doom-stuff and sentences like "you don’t know the leader of the dark side".
Hm. I prefer kilts, though.

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "This is really just a mark of the era... he had his, we have ours... yay for postmodernism, I suppose. o_O

Aye, but as Linda Bilson said, not everyone *is* capable of pulling off wearing a kilt...

Why the hell is the automatic reply color yellow?!"
4 Mar 2008:-) Jacob Bowdin
"PLEASE, QUIT TWITCHING, YOU’RE MAKING EMERA PISSY."

::twitches::

Oh crap...

::runs::

Very entertaining! I laughed for about 98% of it... where the last 2% went, to my best recollection, is when I blacked out after hearing spork of doom o_O now that’s a spork not to be trifled with! Indeed


:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "Well, at very least, it is not a Fork of Truth. o_O Those are scary... make one mad, just like the sword, but with more points on the end.

But yeah, don’t want to mess with the weilder of a spork of doom. ^^"
27 Mar 2008:-) Lotus Rimbauer
I enjoyed this!

:-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) replies: "Shiny. ^^"
8 Aug 2009:-) Heather L E G E N D A R Y_M Y T H Chenery
Lol, Haha. 13
8 Aug 2009:-) Kayla Jane Walker
Love the spork. Too bad the only thing handy I have handy is a spoon... Spoon of Doom somehow doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?
I like the way you cause the reader to guess a lot on what Bob says, what you mean when you talk about the leader of the dark side, and what happens to Bob.
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'Ode to Pants':
 • Created by: :-) Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5])
 • Copyright: © Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]). All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Crazy, Dragon, Elf, Insane, Moo, Mundane, Pants, Poem, Poik, Snore
 • Categories: Dragons, Drakes, Wyverns, etc, Elf / Elves, Humourous or Cute Things, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Wizards, Priests, Druids, Sorcerers...
 • Views: 1006

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