"My name is Beatrice Miller..." by Dorothy ´Darkrose´ Freeman-Wittig

My name is Beatrice Miller. I was born in a small town in the middle of the desert, nothing more than an odd assortment of houses and a few businesses centered around a village pub and inn. We didn’t get many travelers, and so the gossip was limited to what the girls in the town could dream up while their menfolk were away. I was a simple girl then; nobody knew who my real parents were, no one wanted to claim me. I was raised by the innkeeper, who was kind but nothing like a father. I lived my life day to day in a dull stupor, never looking beyond the next day. I longed for something I never had words for. Little did I know that my life was about to change.

It started slowly. First, a bedraggled half-elf staggered into the village. She was injured, filthy, and nearly insane from some horrible trauma. No one knew what to make of her, and they turned the other cheek. Something about her touched me, and for some unknown reason I took her in to my room and cleaned her and calmed and fed her. When she snapped back into reality she didn’t know where or who she was. I felt a bond with this strange wild woman, and although I didn’t know it at the time we were to become the best of friends. I named her Genevieve, a name I’d always been fond of. I called her Jenny, and although she didn’t like it at first she came to tolerate it from me, and eventually to like it. I taught her about life in the village, and in exchange I wanted stories of the world outside, but she had lost her memory and couldn’t talk about it. She had obviously been through some great ordeal, and became nervous and prone to panic in certain situations, such as around orcish customers in the bar. With Jenny, my life seemed so much more fulfilling, and I felt some of that gaping emptiness filled. She was truly a blessing.

Some time later, a small group of travelers from a foreign land arrived in the village. It was so long ago, I can hardly remember the details… there was one in particular that turned everyone’s eye: a certain black-haired elf that the ladies would talk about evermore. They might still whisper about Loith, and all those interesting things they wanted to do with him if they ever got their lusty hands on him. I would sigh and shake my head, I didn’t think he was anything special. His companion was very tall, taller than my by at least a foot, with dark hair and green eyes. He came swaggering into the bar and had the nerve to compromise my honor as a maiden. I think I hit him… shortly afterward I came to regret that event. Now I don’t. His name was Ashimar, and he was a wizard. They were only in town for a short while, and every day the two of them would come into the bar and drink and Ashimar would hit on me, always the same tactics. He gets points for persistency, though. We sent them out on some impossible task, expecting to never see them again. Much to our surprise, they returned some time later, the task completed, and dressed like royalty. But their arrival had changed something in me again, and I now had a name for that something that I was missing in my life; that emptiness that had yearned to be filled since the time of my childhood: adventure. I craved it, needed it, dreamed about it. Jenny and I would often spend long hours of the night talking and laughing about what we would do out in the world, saving damsels in distress, finding a prince apiece and living happily ever after once we’d had our fill of life. Somehow, though, that strange cocky grin and green eyes had slipped into my dreaming and I found myself thinking more and more about that brazen pigheaded wizard. I actually missed him. Jenny seemed to notice, and so we began to formulate a plan: we began stockpiling all the supplies we could find for a great long journey in our room above the bar. Weapons we stripped off of drunk customers; money from our wages; spare clothing; donated items; gifts; bottles of wine; you name it, we had it. This way, if even the slightest opportunity presented itself, we would be ready to leave.

When Ashimar and Loith and their band returned victorious, I was thrilled. I wanted Ashimar to come straight to the bar, sweep me off my feet and take me away from that place. I wanted to go with him. Well, I got my first wish; the bar was definitely the place he came to first, although in hindsight I’m not sure if it was to see me. All the same, when he asked me to pass a night with him, I agreed. I don’t know why, there was just something about his brash and overconfident personality that was wildly attractive. I loved and hated him for it, but all the same that night I was changed. I knew that there was nothing that I wanted more than to follow him to the ends of the earth and be by his side through better and worse, and it was with shock that I realized that I was in love. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same. I never told him how I felt, and a few days later he left. They had done something to make the whole village mad at them, and they were told never to return. I felt my heart break, and for a while I was inconsolable, although the only one to know this was Jenny. I wanted to just pack up and follow him, but I was still too young and didn’t know if what I was doing was wise. I was miserable.

Some time later, much to my surprise and joy, they returned briefly. Ashimar ran to the bar, as was his wont, and proceeded to order a drink. I was overjoyed to see him, but somehow the only emotion I could show was casual smugness. He was attacked in the bar, and I watched as my own people assailed the man that I loved. I did the only thing I could think of: I protected Ashimar. I grabbed the closest thing I could come up with, which was a cast iron frying pan, and proceeded to dispatch a number of the attackers. The remaining few ran out to get reinforcements, and I realized that I was doomed if I stayed there. I thought to myself with calm resign that if Ashimar wouldn’t take me with him, I would accept my fate and die. Then the miracle of miracles happened, and Ashimar presented me with a dress fit for a queen, and asked if I would go with him. I was wild with shock and happiness, and I think I kissed him as I agreed to go. Jenny and I were packed and ready in less than five minutes, which was good because the rest of the village had caught on by them and it was quite the escape. I looked back at my hometown disappearing behind me, and all I felt was freedom.

Since then my life has been one crazy thing after another. We met friends, and lost friends… I’ve seen death and life and chaos and watched the world change as it slid beneath my feet. I watched the world turn from an endless waste of hot sand to deep cavernous mountains, where we met Kyler. I watched the mountains turn into deep green jungles, and from jungles to grasslands, and through snowy peaks and rolling hills and oceans and every step has been an adventure. I have been happy, for the most part, and even when I found myself killed at the hands of a renegade dandelion I managed to hold on as Ashimar once more bailed me out of trouble. I can honestly say that through death and disease and war I was never more frightened than when I thought Ashimar was going to die. I protected him as a mother, and loved him as his wife.

Now, everything has once more changed. I’ve lost yet more of my friends; Kyler and Robot were taken from us in a flash of light and our friends from the boat were all lost at sea. Loith has taken a profound interest in Jenny, and I am happy for them. My greatest challenge, however, is yet to come, for as I find myself headed into war as always at Ashimar’s side, I also find myself carrying his child. I am afraid, however, of how Ashimar would take the news. I fear for myself and for my child, my hope, my all; this life that dwells within me is my most precious gift and I will do my best to see it protected, even as I protect Ashimar. It is sad, to love someone so much and be unable to tell them even the simple truth, because you are afraid. And so I continue to go on following, fighting, and hoping, and I pray that the gods in heaven shall see fit to help me save the unborn child, my child, Ashimar’s child, our hope, our joy, our future.