"Gilbert Ch 4 - Oh, Gilbert!" by Randall Owen Salau

Hasha finished preening herself, and examined the results of her labours in her reflection off the puddle on the floor.  Perfect!  Her scales shone like a thousand emerald mirrors, each one shimmering as she moved.  Fangs glistened like stalactites made from the finest pearl.  A thin line of charcoal, painstakingly applied above each eye, set them off like fiery rubies, amid which were set the dark, cat-like slits of her pupils.  Irresistible!   She looked down at her carefully manicured talons, each freshly cleaned and sharpened, then dipped in fresh blood until they resembled shining red needles.  Gorgeous!   She wandered towards the cave entrance and flung the remains of a dead frog out into the void below.  A few seconds passed, before a small “plop” was heard.  “Finally croaked it now!” she called out, as a final epitaph to her nail polish.

Hasha raised her head and gazed towards the sun.  It hung high in the noon sky.  She retreated back to the inner sanctum of her cave, and rested, saving her energy for what she hoped would be a memorable evening.

* * *

“Dragons!” complained Lucinder to Gertrude.  “Immature, thoughtless, good-for-nothing fire breathing serpent tuggers, the lot of them!”

“Yeah, but that Dingbat ... he’s so cute!  Did you see his dreamy eyes.  And your brother, he’s really handsome too!  Do you know if he’s flying out with anyone at the moment?”

“No, he’s ... Oh Gertie, I’m sorry I snapped back there.  It’s just that, oh, I dunno.”

“You really like him, don’t you.”

“Who?”

“Gilbert, of course!”

“Gilbert?  Oh my Dragonlord no, he’s just a friend, if I could call him that.  He just hangs out with Drakken, along with the others, and I sometimes hang out with them too.”

“But you kissed him, like you really meant it.”

“Oh, that!  No, I was just putting on a show for the others.  And would you guess - I don’t think he’s ever ...”

“Ever what?”

“Oh, nothing” said Lucinder.  “Hey, we’re just coming up to your mountain, time to split.  Thanks for coming over! I’m sorry you didn’t get to stay a bit longer and have more fun.”

“No worries, Lucy.  Thanks for inviting me.”, replied Gertrude.  “And if Dingbat asks, you can tell him that I don’t have a dragon-friend at the moment” she added hopefully.

“Ok!  See you!”, replied Lucinder, and she wheeled around to the West for the journey home.  She looked Northward, and then to the East, at the seemingly endless line of mountains that formed her home and that of so many others of her kind.  She had never ventured beyond them, and often wondered at the strange lands she imaginged lay beyond.  Shifting her gaze Southward to more familiar territory, she discerned a thick plume of smoke starting to rise among the far hills, near to where the town of Bruggleton lay.

* * *

“Oh, Gilbert!” said a voice that was instantly recognisable.  He’d heard those exact words repeated often in the past, and always in that same familiar tone that exuded disgust and disappointment.  Like the time his mother had found a scratching hidden under his bed, depicting a young dragoness from the healing caves in a very unusual pose.  Or the time, when he was still a hatchling, that his mother had caught he and a young Lucinder exploring the differences between dragons and dragonesses.  Or the time ... 

“Oh, Gilbert!”, the voice said again. 

Gilbert turned around.  “Mother!” 

But her gaze was fixed elsewhere.  She was slowly scanning the scene before her, jaw agape in disbelief.  Gilbert turned to follow his mother’s roving eyes, and was shocked at what he saw.  Broken and empty barrels lay scattered across the floor, amid pools of spilled ale.  Chewed and splintered shards of wood were everywhere.  The comatose form of Schnorkel lay slumped in a corner, still hugging an empty barrel and snoring loudly.  And in the middle of all the mess were the scattered remains of what had once been his sparkling pile of gold.

“We’d better split” said Drakken to Gilbert. “Come on guys.  That means you too, Schnorks!”  Dingbat wobbled over to Schnorkel and gave him a shove.  “Wake up!”

“Wha ... wha ... what’s going on?” said Schnorkel, coming to life with a start.  “Ale, more ale.  Schhhhhnorkel wants ale”.

“No more ale for Schnorkel,” said Dingbat.  “You’re coming with us.”

Drakken and Dingbat helped him to his four feet and hurriedly shuffled him towards the cave entrance. 

“Are you sure he’s alright?” asked Gilbert.  “I mean, surely he can’t fly like that?”

“Don’t worry,” replied Drakken “I’ll carry him on my back.” 

“Ok, but be careful!  I’ll catch you guys later ...”

”No worries,” replied Drakken.  “You know where to find us,” he added, with a large and not very subtle wink. 

The three dragons lurched towards the portal, while Gilbert watched on with amusement. With a great heave, Dingbat helped Schnorkel onto Drakken’s back, where he draped limply, legs flopped either side and neck dangling like a dead serpent hanging from a tree.  “One, two, three, and away!” he cried.  Drakken took a few backward steps, staggering under the heavy load, then commenced a long run-up.  Wings beating madly, he leapt from the entrance, and promptly disappeared from view as he plummetted earthwards like a giant rock!

“Drakken!” Gilbert cried out in horror, and leapt for the cave entrance.  He looked down, and with much relief eventually spotted Drakken, with Schnorkel now very much awake and clinging on for dear life, recover from his dive and slowly start to climb away, while Dingbat flew alongside.  He watched his friends until they were mere specks in the distance, then turned and shuffled back inside.

“Hic! Oops, sorry Mum.  I haven’t seen you in ages!  Thanks for coming over.”

“We came to wish you a happy hatchday, and maybe have a bit of a celebration.  Especially as today is your 50th,” said his mother. “Although by the look of things, you seem to have been doing quite a bit of celebrating already!”

Gilbert nodded guiltily. Then he realised that his mother had brought company.  He turned his eyes a little, and there, standing beside his mother, was another dragoness.  Well, he supposed she was a dragoness, but it was a bit hard to tell.  She looked like an oversized green ale barrel with legs and a tail, and was rather plain looking to say the least.  Great untidy bunches of overgrown scales hung from the roots of her legs.  His mother was, as usual, well preened, beautiful, and a picture of dragonessity, wheareas the other one looked as if she’d just finished hollowing out a cave with her bare snout. 

“You must be Gilbert,” it said, in a deep, husky monotone. “Esmerelda has told me all about you. Happy hatchday.”

“Sorry, I should have introduced you,” said his mother.  “This is my friend, Dykken.  Well ... she's my partner, actually.”

Gilbert looked completely mystified.  “What, your hunting partner?”

“No, I mean she’s my partner”.

Gilbert was still baffled.  “I don’t quite understand.”

“Look, I should have told you earlier, but I think now you are old enough to know the truth.  You see, your father ...”

Gilbert nodded.  He remembered his father well, and had always looked up to him as a hatchling.  But one day, about 10 years ago, his father had flown off, never to return.  Not long afterwards, his mother went too, and left Gilbert feeling abandoned, unloved, and all alone in the world.  His mother soon returned to see how he was getting on, and since that time visited him often, but she never stayed long.  Of his father, there was no word or sign to this day.

“He always used to fly out a lot, your dad, and I used to think he was going hunting,” she continued.  “But he never brought home any food.  At first I just put it down to the fact that he was a lousy hunter, but then I began to notice things disappearing from our pile of gold – little things at first, then soon larger and more precious items began to vanish.  So one day I followed him, but instead of flying South towards the hunting grounds, he turned East, and flew all the way to the Red Cave district.  Well, I confronted him over it, and he finally admitted what he’d been up to.  Then he flew off with some floosy dragoness, and I’ve never seen or heard from him since.  It was shortly after that I met Dykken here.  She was so sympathetic and really understood my hurt and my grief.  I felt I’d found my true soulmate at last.  And she knew how to satisfy a dragoness in a way your father never could.”

Dykken smirked, and directed an enormous wink at Gilbert’s mum.

"I'm sorry darling, but I finally had to come out of the cave and admit what I knew all along.  Gilbert, your mother is a lez-dragon."

Gilbert just stood there, gobsmacked.

“And I'm a lez-dragon too!”, said the gruff voice.

"Yeah, well that's pretty obvious," retorted Gilbert.

“Oh, Gilbert,” said his mother “One day you’ll begin to understand.  For now, don’t think too much.  I just want you to know that your mother is happy and contented, and she loves you very much.  Happy hatchday, darling!”  She wrapped her wings around him in a loving embrace, as a tear started to form in her eye.  “Goodbye, and take good care of yourself”.  Then she was gone, and Dykken too.

* * *

Gilbert sniffed and snuffled as he slowly turned and wandered back inside his cave.  He was now 50, and supposed to be a fully grown-up dragon.  But he still felt like a hatchling inside, and missed his mother dreadfully whenever she flew away after one of her visits.  And the news of his father's unfaithfullness, and his mother preferring the company of other dragonesses, was a real shock to him.   He looked at the mess before him, and sighed.  No wonder she was disappointed. Oh well, better start cleaning up, in case someone else calls in.  Like Hasha, for example.  Hasha!

Gilbert froze on the spot and his heart began to race.  He had been so engrossed in the day’s events that he’d forgotten all about her till now. She knows it’s my hatchday, I told her last week! Then Gilbert thought of his friends, Drakken, Dingbat and Schnorkel.  They would be missing him, waiting for him to arrive.  Should he go visit Hasha first, or follow his friends and see her later?  But Gilbert never got a chance to decide.

“Help!”, screamed a voice.  “Help!  Gilbert, come quickly!”