"Gilbert Ch 5 - The Long Claw of the Law" by Randall Owen Salau

Farmer Maddock sat outside his rustic little cottage, smoking an odd-looking pipe and enjoying the afternoon sun.  He gazed out at rows upon rows of tall green plants, swaying gently in the breeze.  Aye, it had been a good year.  The west paddock had fetched a very good price indeed at the harbour markets, beyond his wildest expectations.  The buyers were clamouring for more, and the north paddock was nearly ready for reaping.  Dreams began to fill his head – dreams of endless piles of riches, with castles, servents, and pretty maids at his beck and call.  His very own golden carriage, drawn by a dozen fine steeds, and a bar stocked with the finest ales and meads.   He smiled to himself, and rose from his seat to go inside.   Then suddenly, without warning, they were upon him - three great behemoths spouting sheets of flame, turning his beloved crop and his dreams into a blazing inferno.  

“Dragons!” he cried out, although nobody was there to hear him.  Not that they could have done much about it anyway.   He raced inside the cottage and cowered beneath the table, praying that the beasts would not seek him out and roast him.  His trembling hand played with something, and a little hatch flew open.  A flutter of wings, and his plea for help was airborne.  He wished his winged friend God’s speed.

* * *

The three dragons wheeled around, as a thick plume of smoke rose from the field.  They began to circle in the sweet, pungent fumes, inhaling deeply.  Schnorkel closed his watery eyes and coughed, then collided head-first with Dingbat’s backside.  Drakken began to laugh.  “Hey, what’s so funny?” cried Schnorkel, then Dingbat started laughing too.  “Head first, up my bum!  No wonder your mum called you Brownnose!” he snorted.   Even Schnorkel saw the funny side, and soon they were flying aimlessly about the sky, talking loads of nonsense and laughing hysterically.

The smoke grew thicker as the fire took hold, and even the dragons couldn’t stay in it for long without taking a break for fresh air, before diving back in again for another glorious nostril full.  Round and round they flew, bumping into each other and quickly losing all sense of direction, in fact losing sense of anything at all.  Burning fields had never been so much fun!

Eventually, Drakken’s head began to feel dizzy and he decided to land.   He’d lost sight of Dingbat and Schnorkel about 10 minutes ago, though he thought he could still hear them, laughing and chattering away in the distance.    He touched down, and his legs felt like jellied Dwarf.  He tried to stand but quickly fell over and rolled on to his side.  His head was swimming madly, as he closed his eyes and began to drift off.

* * *

“Gilbert, Help!!!”

Gilbert hurriedly crawled to the entrance of his cave, and there was Lucinder, in a terrible state of panic.

“Gilbert, you must come quickly!  It’s Drakken.  They’ve taken him!”

“Who … What?”

“Drakken!  He’s gone, I tell you!”, she cried.

“What do you mean, gone?  What happened?”

“Well, after I dropped off Gertie, I headed towards Farmer Maddock’s field.  I knew they were there because I could see the smoke in the distance.   But when I arrived, they’d all gone.  Then I bumped into Dingbat and Schnorkel, and they told me they’d lost him.   So I flew back to the field and started searching.  Then I saw him!”

“Who’s him?” asked Gilbert.

“Farmer Maddock,” she replied.  “I was going to roast him on the spot, but firstly I wanted to see if he knew anything.  So I questioned him, but he said nothing.  So I set fire to his pants.  Suddenly he started blabbing something about ‘Bluey’ and ‘protection’, and how he was going to make the big red-winged dragon pay dearly for what he’d done to his crop.  Well, as soon as he mentioned red wings, I knew that could only mean Drakken.   I was so angry with him that I burnt him to a cinder, before he could tell me more.  Now I’ll never know what happened to Drakken!” she sobbed.  A great torrent of tears started to flow down Lucinder’s cheeks.

Gilbert wrapped his foreleg around her enormous neck and cradled her head in his wings.  “Don’t cry, Lucy,” he said tenderly.  “Bluey?  Bluey?” he pondered out loud.  “Bluey!  Of course!  Come on Lucy, no time to waste.  Follow me!”

They were airbourne it the blink of an eye.  Gilbert turned East, and Lucinder followed, trying desperately to keep up.  “Come on, faster, faster!” he roared, and the two dragons hurtled through the sky, faster than any dragon had ever flown before.   Trees blew over in their wake, and all the creatures hid themselves in fright at the passing of the great tempest.

* * *

Drakken opened his eyes.  Where am I?  He looked around and saw he was in a large, unfamiliar cave.  How did I get here?  He stood up and tried to walk, but something was holding him back.  Looking down, he saw that each of his four legs were bound by a thick iron chain.   “Must get out of here”, he cried out loud, and struggled to break free.  But the chains were too strong.  Twisting his long neck around, he directed a torrent of flames at the nearest chain, and it began to glow red.  He pulled and tugged with all his mighty strength, but still the chain refused to yield.  “Arrrrrr!” he cried.  “LET ME OUT OF HERE!”

“That sort of noise will do you no good at all!”, boomed a deep dragonic voice.

Drakken looked up, and noticed a tunnel branching from the rear of the cavern, from where he guessed the voice had come.  “Who’s there?”, he called out nervously.

There was no answer, but he heard the scraping noise of dragon claws on the stone floor of the tunnel, coming towards the cavern.  A big ugly head appeared, with a huge porcine snout, and a mouthful of yellow fangs set in a sadistic grin.

“’Allo, Allo?  What have we here?” it said.  “A young trouble making dragon, bent on mischief and breaking the dragon code.”   A huge lumbering body, almost twice the size of Drakken, squeezed itself out of the tunnel and squatted directly in front of him.   He spread his great blue wings, and slap!  A wing tip dealt a stinging blow to Drakken’s snout, making his eyes water.

“Now, let me see.   Scaring humans, burning fields, FUI, making a general nuisance of yourself.  We depend on humans, in case you haven’t noticed.  They bring gold, attract the dwarves … I could have you up before the Great Drake.  How would you like that, eh?”

“Not very much … um, sorry!” replied Drakken in a sheepish little voice.

“Aren’t so brave now, are we!  So you admit it!”

“Admit what?”

“What is your name, worm?”, he asked.

“Dra …. Puff,” he replied.  “Puff Redwing”

“Hmmmph … Redwing?   I thought you might be one of them Hiffhuffens.  Their dad was a real troublemaker, and I’ve heard their hatchlings are even worse.   Now, what am I going to do with you?”, he pondered.

“Please let me go!” Drakken pleaded.  “It was only a bit of fun, and I’m really sorry, I won’t do it again!”

“Fun?  Only a bit of fun?” he sneered. “You know what you’ve done?  Farmer Maddock and I had a little arrangement, see.  I protect his crop, and he gives me half the gold he gets when he sells it.  Now you and your scummy little dragon mates have gone and burnt it all!  Let you go?  Don’t make me laugh!  You’re gonna wish …”

He was interrupted mid sentence by the sound of scratching at the entrance.   “Who’s there?” he roared.

“Oh, please help me, kind sir”, said a squeaky voice, as another dragon’s head appeared through the entrance.   Drakken nearly fainted.   Lucinder!    He nearly cried out her name, but she shot a quick “Don’t say a word” glance in his direction.

“Please help me!”, she pleaded, batting her eyelids.  “My poor pet dwarf, he’s been kidnapped!  Please, I need a big strong dragon to rescue him for me. I’d be ever so grateful!”  Then she started to sob.

“Hmmm, kidnapped you say?”

“Yes, that’s right.  He’s being held in Bruggleton.  Oh, please rescue him for me.  I’d do anything to repay your kindness”, as she batted her eyelids again and smiled seductively.

“Right, you stay here”, he roared at Drakken.  “Come with me, darling, I’ll rescue your pet … a dwarf you said?  Strange pet.”

“Oh, but he’s so cute.  I live all alone, and it gets so lonely in my cave at night without him.  He’s all I have”. 

* * *

Drakken lay on the floor, wondering what sort of crazy plan his sister was hatching.   The cave was now deserted, but he was still chained up and unable to move.

Suddenly he heard a noise.   “Gilbert!” he cried.

“Hello Drakken!  How did you get yourself locked up in here?”

“Never mind that Gilbert, can you get me out?”

Gilbert looked at the chains, and a worried look came over his jowls.  “These are very thick, it will be hard to melt them”.

“I know, I tried myself but it did no good.  I think they were made to resist dragon fire.”

“Maybe the fire of one dragon, but what about three?”, he said, and, as if by magic, in lurched  Dingbat and Schnorkel!

“Come on guys, on the count of three!” he cried.  They all took a deep breath and directed a huge blast of flame at the first chain.  It instantly glowed red, then white hot, and suddenly it snapped!”

“Ok, next one,” he called, and soon all four chains had been severed.   Drakken was free.

* * *

Lucinder and the big blue-winged dragon flew south towards Bruggleton.   A thick smoky haze hovered in the sky nearby, and it was towards the source of this smoke that Lucinder now led him.

“Hey, I thought you said we were going to Bruggleton?”

“Yes, but I think we should check here first,” she replied.  “The smoke might be a signal for help”

“Hmmmph!  That smoke is because some ratbag young dragon set fire to the field!  You know who owns this farm, don’t you?”

“No?” she lied.

“Farmer Maddock.  And I don’t think he’s got your dwarf somehow.  But I’ll go and check - just to make sure.”

He flew down and disappeared into the thick cloud of white smoke, while Lucinder circled around, carefully avoiding the fumes.  Just a few minutes, and then he’ll be all ga-ga and I can make my escape, she thought.  She counted down the minutes … 1, 2, 3.  Still no sign of him.  4, 5, 6.  He must be just about unconcious by now.

Suddenly Lucinder jinked sideways with a start.  Out of the smoke appeared the other dragon, perfectly lucid and seemingly unaffected.  She had forgotten how much bigger than her he was, and had badly underestimated how much it would take to bring him down.  Her plans were starting to unravel fast.

“Hmmmph, no sign of the dwarf, or Farmer Maddock for that matter,” he grunted.  “Funny, I thought he would be here.  He must have gone into town for help.” 

“Oh, well, maybe my pet dwarf’s escaped and gone home”, she said.  “You go on to Bruggleton, and I’ll go the other way and look for him”.

“No you won’t!  I’m going to Bruggleton, and you’re coming too, Missy!” he said, beginning to smell a rat.  He grabbed her foreleg tightly in his claws.  “Yes, off to Bruggleton, and then … to your cosy little cave, with the big, strong dragon”.   He licked his lips, and gave a lecherous smile with his rotten yellow fangs and putrid dragon breath.

“Let me go!”, she screamed, and struggled to break free.  But his grip was too strong.

* * *

It was market day in Bruggleton, and all the local neighbourhood seemed to have gathered in the town.  The dusty town square was packed with the hustle and bustle of locals and travellers alike, and the Bruggleton Inn was doing a roaring trade.   Whispers had already started about yet another dragon attack at Maddock’s farm, and soon tongues were wagging about the story of the 40 giant dragons roaming the district and roasting everyone in their path.

Suddenly, the chattering outside abruptly stopped, and all went deathly quiet.  The clear ring of a bell chimed an ominous warning.   Then, all mayhem broke loose as panic set in.   Humans and dwarves, elves, cats and dogs, all scattered like leaves before the wind.   They leapt into houses, through doors and windows, hid themselves under carts or behind the nearest tree.  Some hid in the outhouses and a few even dived into the cesspit behind the Inn.  They buried their heads and quailed in fear, as the demonic beat of dragons wings grew nearer and nearer.

Two enormous dragons alighted in the middle of the town square.  Not a soul was to be seen, although faintly could be heard the odd stiffled scream or wail.  The smell the fear hung heavily in the air, as did the stench of vomit and involuntarily loosened bowels.

Suddenly a solitary figure appeared in the square, and strode out sternly to meet them.   He shielded his eyes from the terrifying sight before him, as tears of deathly fear rolled down his face.  But he bravely forced his shaking legs to carry him forward, all the way to very faces of the two huge beasts.  He raised his head and looked them in eye.  “Begone, foul drakes!” he cried.

Lucinder looked on in astonishment at the tiny figure standing fearlessly before her, while the other dragon just laughed.

“Move, you little rat, or I’ll roast you to a crisp”, he roared.

“Begone, I say!”  Suddenly he thrust his tiny spear into his helmet, and flung himself on the ground, spinning wildly like a top.  He stopped spinning, stood up, then thrust the point of his spear right up the big dragon’s nostril.

“Owww!  You like pipsqueak, I’ll get you for that!”, and he let forth a savage blast of fire at the brave little dwarf.

Poor Kiki the dwarf.  His short life flashed before his eyes, as he felt the murderous blast of heat strike his tiny body.  He closed his eyes and prayed for a quick end.  Then all went dark.

He heard voices, sweet voices of dwarf angels, singing to him.  He opened his eyes, and lo! There was Lucinder, cradling him gently in her wings, cooing softly too him. 

“Oh, my darling little pet, you’re safe at last!”   She gently licked his cheek with the tip of her long forked tongue, and he felt the coolness soothe his scorched skin.  He gave a little smile.  Lucinder had leapt in front of the dwarf to shield him from the blast, saving him from a crispy fate.  She turned angrily to the other dragon, and scowled a ferocious roar that shook the buildings and shattered windows.  “How dare you!  You tried to murder my little pet!  I HATE YOU!!!  GET OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW!  I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!”

The other dragon turned and fled.  He could handle the toughest, roughest and meanest of dragons, but the fury of dragoness like this – he had finally met his match.

Lucinder turned to the dwarf and gave him a smile which was all fangs, as sweetly as a dragoness could.   “Thank you, dear dwarf.   You are brave and fearless, and I give you this vow.   I shall let it be known to all dragons, near and far, that they are never to come to your village again, unless you are in desperate need and call for their aid.  I name you Dragon Friend!”

She gracefully bowed before him, then turned and was on her way.