"Comment Zone" by R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää

It is dark around you and you cannot see a soul anywhere. You can't even see your own hands. A horrible, empty void filled with nothing.

You scream and start running around mindlessly (now that's stupid).

You spot a faint glow ahead of you, so you start running towards it.

As you approach the glowing area, you see something just at the peak of your visual range. Is it...? Could it be...? Someone else, just like you, lost in this place? But before you can confirm the truth of this, the shape has moved itself back to the empty dark void and you cannot see it anymore. You walk into the glow. As you hit the center of it (how does one know where the center is from a GLOW?), you go practically blind again.

WELCOME, something says in your head. That startles you.

"Who's there?!"

THIS IS NOT A PERSON.

"What...? What are you? How do you do that in my mind??"

THIS IS SIMPLE CREATION TO AID YOU. PLEASE SPECIFY YOUR QUESTIONS.

How strange... You are a bit calmer though. "What kind of thing are you anyway?"

THIS IS A HELP. Right. That clears things up (not).

You take a moment to think about this further. "What am I doing here?"

THE SAME AS OTHERS OF YOUR KIND.

"So there are others. I saw someone on my way here."

YES. THIS WAS NOT THAT PERSON'S AREA. THEY HAVE REMOVED IT TO THIS PERSON'S IT. Bit difficult to follow his... its... whatevers thoughts. Or something.

"Yes... Well... Where exactly am I?"

YOU ARE IN THE COMMENTS ZONE.

"Comments? What the hell...?"

NOT HELL. THE COMMENTS ZONE.

"Explain. Shortly, please."

There is a short silence, then the voice in your head begins: YOU ARE AN ELFWOOD WRITER. EVERY ARTIST OR WRITER ARE BROUGHT HERE EVENTUALLY. THOSE WHO HAVE COMMENTS WILL SEE THEM AND LEAVE WHEN WANTED. THOSE WHO DON'T HAVE COMMENTS WAIT UNTIL ONE IS PLACED UPON.

You pause to consider this for awhile. "I didn't have any comments the last time I checked... That means I have to be in this... this... blackness until someone gives me ONE comment?"

YES, the voice booms.

"And that other person I saw... No comments?"

NO, again booming.

"Oh dear... That doesn't sound very nice."

IT IS THE WAY THINGS ARE.

"Oh dear... I need help... I need a comment..."



Every day there are global disappearences of people from elfwood who don't have any comments. The number increases every day. We hope that this short article will aid all those people in empty Comment Zones. We hope that you take it on yourself to help those who need your assistance. Whenever you see a picture or story without comment, make one. You just might help someone back home...