I'm not quite sure... It's improvised, did it at school. First I thought I was gonna save him, but then I guess.. I just didn't bother. I suppose it's clear enough. I think it's a sort of parody. But that's up to you to decide. And nitpick.
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A fierce-looking warrior was standing outside in the rain. The water drops plinked on his armour, but he made no gesture as to move. He stood there, staring particularly at nothing. He had seen this coming, it was no coincidence. He was petrified, and the rain was rusting his precious armour, which had been passed from father to son for generations. A pity it would never be worn by any man and he was ashamed he was to be the one to die wearing it. It was supposed to be a good luck charm! If he had not been drunk, he would not have felt so daring with his miraculous armour and he would not have betted to kill the monster on an island further to the sea. Oh, how he regretted! The armour covered his body, and for wars it was good. But it did not cover his eyes, and he had been petrified by that perilous monster. He knew he was done for. The monstrosity was sitting ahead of him, on the stairs of an old temple, protected from the rain. It looked at him in dismay and sighed.
"This isn't fun at all. What am I supposed to do with you? Every year, every year, some stupid adventurer comes and tries to kill me, which leaves no choice but to defend myself. Do you have any idea how difficult it is push you lot away? You're damn heavy! I can't just carry you over to the sea! You could have worn something else than a stupid armour like that. It's gonna take ages to get rid of you." It sighed again.
"I suppose I'll just have to wait until the rain stops… I don't know, I might figure out something later… Maybe I'll get something to eat for myself while waiting. Yes, that sounds good. Doesn't that sound good?" it asked the snakes slithering over its head. They hissed in return. The creature grinned happily, showing its yellowed teeth, got up and disappeared in to the shadowy depths of the temple. The warrior stood on, remorseful.
The rain had stopped. Midday sun was glaring down on the warrior, blazing on the shining armour. The light was blinding him, but he could not close his eyes. He would have swayed in the heavy, suffocatingly hot armour, but he could not move a finger. He did not think of the monster anymore, his thoughts were encompassed on praying a cool breeze of wind for his tanned face. Sweat oozed on his skin, and the metallic smell of the armour nauseated him. Fortunately, he soon passed out.
The monster soon appeared from inside the temple. It looked at the warrior, and muttered something about the bloody weather. It breathed deeply and with a nod of its head, it swayed to the man.
"Hello! You still alive in there?" It waited for a response, but the unconscious man did not respond. The creature shrugged and pulled out a small wand. It pointed the wand behind the man at the ground, and murmured mystic words. A few sparks flared from the tip of the wand and landed to the ground. The sparks started swirling around, and after a while a door had formed in the whirl of magical light. The sparks died out, leaving a sturdy wooden door on the ground.
For a moment it watched the door, sizing it up. Then it grunted and toppled the man onto the door. He bounced slightly inside his armour, but did not wake up. Putting the wand away, it took out another wand, this one shorter and stubbier than the first one. It pointed the wand at itself and murmured more mystical words. Light engulfed the creature and the snakes on its head.
Only a brief moment and the warrior, his armour and the door sinked under the waves. Some ripples showed where the creature had pushed them down. It huffed a bit, and stood still catching its breath. It narrowed it narrow eyes and looked out to sea. It glimmered white where the sun reflected it rays. Smiling a bit, it turned around and swayed back to the temple.
The sea was pleasantly cool under the surface, and the warrior felt relieved. The sun could not burn him under the waves, but its light shimmered sensually around him. It was so mesmerising and he was left staring at its posh play underwater forever. Shame he couldn't actually see anything anymore.
| Date | Name | Comment | | | 11 May 2004 | Khoth | Loading...I love this one. It's nice to hear about the problems monsters face from stupid heroes.
I am, of course, completely incapable of writing anything long and sensible here, so I'll stop while I'm ahead.Laadida. | |
| 15 Nov 2004 | Kay (alphabet soup) Fox | Loading...Yes, I am starting backwards. So what? At least I'm starting. That's better than I was doing last week. So, good strong first sentences. However, might I suggest breaking up that first paragraph into two(or possibly three) smaller paragraphs? It just seems like there should be a break where there is a change in thought, although I'm not entirely sure where to put it. I suppose I could look into that. I've been meaning to get a better version in here anyway. I like how the man never speaks but you describe him anyway, and I like how the monster does speak. I like how the monster is angry, no, angry isn't the right word... peeved, annoyed, aggravated... at the knights in shining armor that can't defeat him. Silly heroes, always trying to kill her just because she's a monster... And I like the door that serves as a trash can. That is probably my most favorite part of the story. I like how you didn't save the man and just sort of had the monster toss him aside. Yeah you!Just because the guy is petrified doesn't mind he's, you know.. petrified. Err.. I mean, he'd still bend, and it's easier to heave the guy on top of the door to the ocean. Yeah, that's what I meant anyway... *little squel* Yeah, yay me  | |
| 7 Dec 2004 | Panu Karjalainen | Loading...I always like it when warriors get larruped.I don't know if that's good or bad. But probably both. | |
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