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R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää

"Wintery Discovery" by R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää

SciFi/Fantasy text 5 out of 9 by R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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It's a story. What more do you want to know?
Okay, it's not just as good as I wanted it to be, but I just couldn't get the right mood on it (at least not in my opinion).

Minor changes done in: 10.9.06
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←- Happiness & Hope | Faeries of the Night -→
The day was young and the air was cold. The snow glistened in first rays of sunshine. A mother told her children to dress warmly, when those two happily skipped out the door and hopped down the stairs outside to the fresh, crispy wintery air.

Soon the siblings were joined with a bunch of neighbourhood kids. They started playing, running around in the snow, making snow angels and throwing snowballs at each other. The little girl, giggling, tried to escape from her brother, who was quite talented when it came down to throwing those blasted snowballs. The girl hopped and carefully landed on her belly on to the snow. She giggled and started to rise in an attempt to get at her brother when she saw something poking out of snow. The little girl leaned closer and saw something colorful. Warily she removed some snow away from it.

Her brother came running next to her asking why was she staring the snow so quietly away from everyone else. Then he saw what she was looking at. He called the other kids to come there. They stopped fooling around when they noticed how grave the boy had sounded. Gracefully they formed a circle around the siblings. One of them suggested they should probably give it a proper burial. They all nodded in silence.

Because the girl founded it, she cautiously lifted it on her palms. Two other kids went to grab some shovels from their homes and when they came back, they with great effort dug up a small pit in the frozen ground, close to an oak. The little girl placed it on the hole and shoved some soil on top of it. They all stood close to it some time in silence, honouring it. Then the boy suddenly took off. The others were surprised to notice that when he came back, he had a small flower on his hands. Shrugging he went to the grave and placed it on top of it.

A shout came from many of their parents. Dinner was ready and they were being called to come back inside. One by one they all left the grave, the siblings to do it last. In the middle of the way, she stopped and looked behind her. To the grave in a little grove. She stared at it. And then they both ran inside. Once there they informed their mother that they weren't that hungry. Perhaps later.

The siblings went to the girl's room, which had the view to outside, to the grove. They looked outside the window from her bed, which was quite conveniently placed right under the window. It started snowing. Pure white snowflakes rained down softly down. She spoke quietly: "It looked really sad. In the books mummy read to us they never looked sad. Only happy. I thought faeries couldn't die like that." A tear rolled down on her cheek. "I know", the boy said and patted her back. "I know." They sat there until their mother came in to the room wondering what they were doing since they hardly ever were so quiet.

And life went on.
←- Happiness & Hope | Faeries of the Night -→

DateNameComment 
27 Jul 2002:-) Melus Meles
Oooh.. what a sad story... But It was very good! Jättebra!
Keep up the good work!
Li  Thank you! Thank you! And I will.. there's two new coming... Thanks Li.
29 Jul 200245 Annelie
A very beautiful story, sad but beautiful. I really liked the ending... you are a great writer!  Sad and beautiful was my goal, thanks for the compliment! I love 'em compliments .
17 Aug 2002:-) Maria Elmindreda L
It's indeed a very touching story. Especially the last paragraph. Till it, I have been thinking they have found a bird.

The only flaw are a few grammar errors, they force the reader to blink and go 'huh ?' before understanding.

But the story IS great. 2 It does have that kind of feeling on it, doesn't it? No one saw the faerie coming, my good. But, there's still errors on the text there? Darn. I'll read it again.. uhm, and Thank You!
19 Aug 2002:-) Emily Grist
That is such a touching story....you are very talented I have to admit, but I do admit it gladly. Congratualtions on making me cry... Thank You! Good Imagination pays off well, doesn't it?But thanks still!
17 Sep 2002:-) Panu Karjalainen
Huh?! I've read this but forgot to comment...a heinous sin! Forgive me! But this is a really great piece of 'real life', and the fairy just adds to the sadness...but luckily the last line is quite a reliever. You really should have remembered! But.. I'll forgive ya. I must say I'm extremely proud of this story, almost as much as 'Mikko' (that's on me pages), and so... Thanks!
25 Sep 200245 Ender ender@box...ms>
Almost reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit, only there was no attachment to the living fairy, only a broken dream. Nice job catching the youthful innocence, love and respect for other creatures. In life innocent young children are unmarred by prejudices or hatreds, so they love most anything. You caught this very well by telling how the children gave the fairy creature a very heartfelt burial.

Very very good. :'(I love this story, I really do. Thanks friend.
What is Velveteen Rabbit? You'll have to tell me about it sometime. And Thanks again.
13 Oct 2002:-) Bethany Holthof
how did the faerie die?? It is a sad little story. i think that it turned out well... Probably from the cold, we don't know, and I couldn't dare myself to bother the kids anymore by asking. They were devastated enough from finding the faerie. Thank You.
11 Nov 200345 Saara 'Fairy' Aitakangas
So sad... *sigh* I knew that something like that was coming, because otherwise it wouldn't be here. And when the girl started to talk about books, I guessed. Oh, and about those mistakes...

[nitpick] "founded" should be "found". Because "founded" = "perusti". And you've forgotten a ' somewhere there, when you speak of the girl's room.[/nitpick]

Okay, that was it. Really a lovely story.It's written kinda odd, and I know there must tons of mistakes in it. I, uh... I think I'll update a newer, more correct version some time in the future. And thank you 2.
18 Jan 200445 Morgan
Very nice (and sad) story, Riibu! Thanks Morgles.
15 Jun 2005:-) Andrew M McLeish
Another beautifully told little story. The fact you can convey such delicate emotions in a complex second language (although English is nothing like as complicated as Finnish...) is a remarkable feat. Many people forget that communication has never been an exact science - 100% accuracy is not required provided you are clear enough to allow us grasp your vision. But anyway - this one brought a tear to this jaded old writer's eye! Well done!Yes, exactly! Thank you! You know, when I try to write, problems always arise around the language. There's always something that's not quite right, something that doesn't fit, something that's entirely wrong.. and then I can't write. I can't get anything done when all I see is mistakes and mistakes! But, here, now, you've made me a little happier with your comment. T'was very nice of you. 2
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'Wintery Discovery':
 • Created by: :-) R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää
 • Copyright: ©R.E. ´Riibu´ Kankaanpää. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Boy, Faerie, Girl, Grave, Kids, Snow
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries
 • Views: 315

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