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Henrik ´Poet Hater´ K. Larsson

Would you believe me if I said that I equally hate and love writing this madly riveting, poetically engaging drivel that some call prose? Pardon. That's my stuff. The writings of others might not be described as such. Probably because they make an ounce of sense every now and then, my writing usually doesn't. But you never know. You might get lucky and not only dislocate your jaw from laughing, but actually cry a tear of joy, or perhaps sadness, from reading something in here. One can only hope :)

I am incredibly married to my wife, my dearest Mrs. Nutter, Jessica M. Larsson, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I live in a charming, pest-ridden hovel - long since abandoned by the roaches - which me and my wife shall soon evacuate. On the other hand, I am quickly getting old and senile, 27 years old that I am, and my dungeon will once again be located in faraway Gothenburg, Sweden. You know, that northern, obscenely shaped country? Full of snow and polar bears? No? Well, I'm sure it's still there.

In hushed, terrified voices they whisper her name. She is the gale upon the sea, the whispering chill that tickles your spine. Cower in fear all ye weak-minded landlubbers! For She... is Jack Lined Jess, the Scourge of the Spanish Main!

Mia 'The Valkyrie' Bengtsson
Danielle *Cheetah Tamer* Fonseca
Stephanie 'Mistress of Spam' Reeuwijk
Dennis 'Invoker' Tabula
John 'Jester of Spam' Kelley

Charlene 'The Lady of Randomness' M. Mattson
Chris A. Jackson
Melissa 'Queen of the Beasties' Jensen
Stephanie 'Squiggles' Rennolds
Matthew 'Ed the Editor' T. Summers
Alice 'Muffin Girl' Smith


Okay, folks, here's the chant! The newest updates are these:

Guestbook for Rik

Date Name Comment   21 Oct 2005 K. Fretwell Loading... I've now read and commented on all your poetry. You are an amazing poet! Here is another batch of brownies in return, for the range of emotions I received from your poems. Long overdue, I'm afraid- I commented here long ago, and then never returned. But I'm glad I finally did- better late than never! ^_^ 21 Oct 2005 Stephanie 'Empress of the Wooden Shoes' Reeuwijk Loading... *gallops in* *halts and rears* Thought I'd check up on EW again. *looks around* Oh right.....you're "away"......an opportunity presents itself! *spraypaints the library orange* Just preparin'ya, lad. World Championships are just around the corner. 30 Oct 2005 K. Fretwell Loading... Congrats! That's so exciting! And incredibly sweet and romantic, if you don't mind my saying! The two of you -ok, I know, I really don't know either of you well at all... but enough info can be gathered from your bios. <smiley id="1"> Anyway, I was saying I'm reminded of one of those adorable romantic comedies. Especially 'You've Got Mail'. There should be a movie about it made, called 'You've Got Comments!' or something. Original, isn't it? Anyway, just wanted to offer my congrats! May you live long and happy lives together, united in madness. 1 Dec 2005 Melissa 'Silent Coyote' Jensen Loading... Henrik, you're going down. No, wait, you're engaged. Thus, you are immune. No, no you're not. Wait! Yes you are. Blast the voices arguing in my head. Devour them, my pirhanas! Ah, much better. For whenever you drop by, a scythe enchanced by ancient Celtic runes to ward off the vile pooks and pygmy hordes that escaped my page. Congrats to you! Man I miss Dennis. Nothing against you, I just can't on Deviant Art thanks to an overly complicated scanner. 7 Dec 2005 Valerie 'The Hryak Woman' Khaskin Loading... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gods, you're getting engaged! Finally! *does a happy dance* Aww! Eee! I keep squeeing with delight ^_^ My poor poor neighbors... But, aww man! Meep! *be's all giddy and bouncy* Wish you all the bestestest and kudos and flying fishies and purple babysitters ^__________________^ <= That's me after dinner, pardon the length =P Grah, I need to catch you for a chat soon... or just catch you =P BoooAhAhAhAheck-- *chokes* Man, I haven't done that in a while... 9 Dec 2005 Melissa 'Silent Coyote' Jensen Loading... Get! Get! ... Can't GET on Deviant Art...What the crap's with my spelling problem! Grrr! 30 Jan 2006 Charlene 'The Amazing Bubble Girl' M. Mattson Loading... Congrats on your engagement! (although the image of an army of wailing, screaming toddlers all carrying massive plastic baseball bats is a bit frightening *tugs on her collar nervously*) Hey, I wrote a new sarchastic short story with the main character being a, well, a henchman. No, really. You should come read, it's very short right now. 16 Jul 2006 Kim Schoonover (FreeBSD/i386 [moose] [ttyv5]) Loading... *wanders in* *POKE* *grumbles irritably and looks around suspiciously* *wanders off* 20 Feb 2008 Stephanie Rennolds Loading... O_O I oggle for the simple fact that this page is dead. O_O Henrik ´Poet Hater´ K. Larsson replies: "*lurks* There is life in the old page yet... I have returned and so shall my writing. Muahaha!" 10 Jul 2008 Stephanie Rennolds Loading... You realize the other Stephanie painted your page orange, right? And yay, he lives. How is married bliss? Or are you not yet? Henrik ´Poet Hater´ K. Larsson replies: "Yes, I was forcibly made Dutch for a day. It was quite the privilege, but damn, that paint took ages to get off. I guess once you go orange, it takes a while to go back The bliss is superb and living in cramped quarters. But that’s how it usually starts out, isn’t it? We are, however, happy and so will skip divorce and just live happily ever after... in a bigger place. With no mildew in the bathroom. And no bats, please. The rats ate the food, the bats ate the rats, but now it’s all topsi-turvy because there is no food and the bats have gone rabid. It’s not pretty." Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 ...

Henrik ´Poet Hater´ K. Larsson