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Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher

"Fairy Crossing Chapter Two" by Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher

SF&F Picture 7 out of 13 by Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher
 
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Yes, Chapter two of Riane's curious adventures in 'Fairy Crossing' is here! Yay! Okay, okay. Well, in this chapter Riane is faced with none other then danger! dun dun dun! But what will become of our spunky little heroine? Even I don't know! ((um, maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud...))
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Chapter Two


I tumbled to the ground, falling face first into the hard earth. I got
up and looked around me in surprise. The site that met my eyes was one I
had never seen before. Green stalks, just a little taller than I was,
stood all around me, and giant boulders were scattered about. I turned
around, only to meet the site of the giant oak, now surrounded by the
green stalks. It looked even more magnificent and mysterious than before.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming from the opposite direction. It
sounded like the Marching Unit doing drills like they do at my school
on weekday afternoons before a big game. My heart pounding I followed
the sound to a small path. Sure enough there were people, more like
soldiers, marching down it. The men were wearing cloths of white, gold,
and purple. Their chain mail glinted in the sun, causing a glare that
had temporarily blinded me. I noticed that eight of the men, four on
each side, were carrying what looked like a golden carriage with no
wheels. Thick, satin veils covered it so onlookers couldn’t see what
was inside. A shadow dancing across the front of the carriage showed
the outline of what looked like a man.

Roughly, two hands turned me around and I came face to face with a
man. He had red, scraggly hair, and he had a giant scar going from his
left eye all the way to the end of his right nostril. His breath smelt
strongly of sour milk.

“Hey what are you doing here?” He asked me in a voice as rough and
callously as his hands, which still held me tightly in their grasp.
Too scared to speak from his sudden appearance, I stood there
dumbfounded and mouth gaping.

“Well, speak you! What are you doing here?” He asked me again, this
time tightening his grasp so that my shoulders hurt and shaking me a
little just for good measure. I stomped onto his foot, heel down, and
bolted as fast as I could. The only thought running through my mind was
to get away. My instincts took over, just like a caged animal. I tackled,
pushed, and lashed out at the guards that came at me. I had no time to
react when I suddenly felt one of the guards’ foot go under my ankle,
causing me to fall again. Before I could get back up, another guard got
on top of me and lifted a knife to my neck so I wouldn’t struggle. I did
anyway.

“Don’t bother. You’ll only end up hurting yourself that way,” The
original guard said in a monotone voice as he walking up to my sprawled
body, which was still trying to get free from the other guard’s grasp.

“Let me go! Please! It’s not like I did anything wrong!” I yelled,
still struggling. The guard snorted.

“Oh, really? You just knocked down almost all of my guards!” He
spat near my head, probably on purpose. I could tell this guy didn’t
like me much from the start. I rolled my eyes and struggled harder.

“Look, I don’t have time for this, ok? I’m trying to-“

“I don’t really care much about what you’re trying to do! All
I know is you tried to run, so you have something to hide!” He
interrupted me rudely. He leaned closer to my face for inspection.

“Hmm…you don’t look much like a fairy, or a pixie,” He pushed my
hair up a little with his knife, as if afraid to touch me with his bare
hands.

“No pointy ears, so you’re not some type of elf,” He mumbled as he
put away his knife. He stood up and brushed the dirt from his pants.

“W-what are you talking about? Fairies? Elves?” I stuttered still
trying to break free.

“Stop struggling, will you? You’ll never be able to get up without
me getting off of you!” The one guard said kind of nervously. He then
turned to the main guard.

“Maybe we should let her go. She doesn’t even have any weapons on
her,” He pretty much pleaded. He was pretty young from what I could
see, which wasn’t much. I noticed his hold on me loosened a little, so
I took the opportunity to try and get him off me while he was off guard.

I jabbed my upper torso upward, and I tucked my knees under me to
try and push my self up quickly. The boy was definitely quicker and
stronger than I had originally thought. Surprised, the boy lost his
balance a bit, but regained it quickly. He pushed all his weight onto
me. Forgetting his knife was in his hand, he pushed it into my neck
hard. I let out a yelp and hiss of pain, as crimson blood fell onto my
vest and blouse. The guard dropped his dagger and looked at my wound in
utter horror.

“I-I cut her! I cut her! Oh man! Someone get a first aid kit!
Please! Someone hurry up!” He yelled in panic. His grip loosened as
I felt his weight get lighter. I wanted to run, but my vision was now
blurry. My arms felt like wet noodles, limp and useless at my sides. I
saw a pair of well-crafted boots come to a halt in front of me, and
myself being turned over. That’s the last thing I could recall before I
blacked out.

I feel…warm. I thought as I regained consciousness. My eyes were
still heavy from sleep, so I didn’t open them. My fingers brushed
against something nearby. It feels soft, almost like a cloud. Am I…dead? I moved my heard a little to the left, and I was soon in searing pain. I tried to move my arm in a reflex to my neck, but my arm wouldn’t move. What’s going on!? I thought as a small wave of panic started to settle onto my mind. I finally found the strength to open my eyes, slowly. When I did, I came face to face with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes. They were almost like two ice crystals the way they sparkled.

“Are you alright? You lost much blood, and you have been
unconscious for a day and a half,” The most silvery, angelic voice
asked me. It seemed to belong to the same person with the crystal eyes,
a boy about my age if not older. I blinked in confusion, as I usually
do, and I pondered on his words for a moment. A day and a half? But
then that means…


“Oh no, Grams!” I jumped up quickly only to recoil from the pain in
my neck. The mysterious owner of the silvery voice and crystal eyes
pushed me back down gently. I noticed hair as black as midnight.
br?“Please lie down! You wound has not healed properly, yet. My guard
had cut you pretty deeply,” The voice said again. I looked at him in a
panicky way.

“Sir, I thank you very much for helping me, but if I’ve been
unconscious for a day and a half, my grandmother must be worried sick!
Please, I must get home!” I pleaded anxiously. The handsome boy just
smiled and laid me back down. It was the first time that I noticed we
were moving.

“Yes, yes. But for right now you must rest. I can not allow a girl
such as you to be left out here without any protection and with a wound
like that by yourself,” He smiled such a warm smile, warmer than the
sun. I felt drowsy again.

“Who…are you?” I asked. His smile remained. He held my hand in a
soft, but firm grip.

“My name is Prince Ito, and it is very nice to finally meet
you…Riane,” He whispered to me before I fell into a warm, deep sleep.

←- Fairy Crossing Chapter One | A Hand Full Of Magic* Chapter One_ -→

DateNameComment 
24 Jan 2007:-) Heidi Hecht
You're off to a good start. I was afraid it would be a cliche fairyland where everything was all fun and games. I kind of like that it isn't. Just one or two misspells-"Site" instead of "sight"-and I'd delete the line about it being something she never saw before, it kind of breaks up the rhythm. Otherwise, good story.

1 Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "Thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed it! =^^="
3 Feb 2007:-) James P-W
I agree with the previous comment. A few more nits:
1) as rough and callous, no as rough and callously
2) foor got under my ankle? That confuses me?
3) "oh man" seems not to fit with the world (fairyland, chain mail, etc).
PS-I make comments on little details like this because they are what distracts me from the story, not because I'm OCD with grammar and stuff. If I don't comment on the actual story comment, it means I like it.
A good start. Peace out

37 Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "That's allright. I get you point. Besides, I like critisism..it helps me in my later works! ^.^ Sddly, there's no way I can fix those little buggers..because everything do deleted! >< Curse the evil deamon that I call a computer! but thank you anyhow; you comments do help me to improve (even if only a little!)"
5 Feb 2007:-) D. Burnham
OOOHHH! Great story-line! You have a wonderful imagination! Let me know when you post some more.

Only one bit of constructive criticism: Remember that less is usually more. Trust your readers to figure some things out on their own, and keep your sentences simpler.

Oh, yes. Do not let anyone's criticism discourage you. Usually they are just trying to help, and if they are just being mean, you can ignore them. Remember that it is YOUR story and you reserve the right to take as much or as little advice as you want. Don't ever stop writing!!

60 Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "Aww! Thanks! Don't worry I'll tell ya! 12"
17 Apr 2007:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Wow, this is interesting! I hope there'll be more chapters soon! ^^ I wonder how the handsome boy knew her name... and I'm interested in what happens next!!! ^.^

The only nitpicks I have are that in some places there were comma mistakes, e.g. in "Hey what are you doing here?", there should be a comma after "hey". I think. I've never seen English comma rules though so never mind 10

Great story! Can't wait for more! ^^ Could you tell me when you have new chapters up? Please? ^.^

44 Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you like it! ^^ ((Yes! Another fan!)) But yes, I think you're right, ((le gasp!)) but there isn't much I can do about that at the moment. I am currently finishing up chapter three, ((or what's left of it)) and there should be more of it coming soon, so your patience shall be rewarded soon. ;D"
8 May 2007:-) Sarah-amy haley
How does he know her name? Why is she there? Where are they going?

I'm intriugued, looking forward to the next bit. I really liked the line, "in a voice as rough and callous as his hands." You have a nice style, I'll be back!

2

13 Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "You're just full of questions now aren't you? Hahaha. I'm glad you're enjoying my story so far. It always makes me feel good when people enjoy my work!"
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About 'Fairy Crossing Chapter Two':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher
 • Copyright: ©Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Girl, Daggar, Blood, Prince, Smile
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Romance, Emotion, Love, Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc
 • Views: 262


More by 'Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher':
Fairy Crossing Chapter Four
Summer Waking
A Hand Full Of Magic* Prologue_
SSOVU- An Introduction (Of Sorts)
Distant Memory- One
Fairy Crossing Chapter Three
The Untouchable War
Children of the Wind (poem)
Fairy Crossing Chapter Five

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