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Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher

"Summer Waking" by Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher

SF&F Picture 11 out of 13 by Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher
 
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Well, as promised, this is the revised, third-person point of view to Fairy Crossing. And, also as promised, I'm stopping the work of Fairy crossing in order to finish the writing of its counterpart, Summer Waking. Mind you, this is only my second kinda-rough copy, so it still needs work... lost of work. Comments are appreciated! <3 -Rin
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Chapter One

The Tree


“I don’t know why you shouldn’t believe it,” said Lucy, “if you believe
in magic at all. Aren’t there lots of stories about magic forcing people
out of one place- out of one world- into another?”

-The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, by C. S. Lewis


The morning was a quiet one, the forest only beginning to awake.
The sun crept lazily over the horizon, splashing the world in radiant
hues of red and yellow. Riane shut the door to her grandmother’s cabin,
so as not to disturb its sleeping inhabitant. She was becoming quite
good at keeping the door from squeaking whenever she opened it. Taking
in a deep breath of the crisp, August air, she made her way along the
path to the forest.

Everything was still. The only sound to be heard were her
footfalls as they hit the leaf-littered earth. Once in awhile, a bird
could be heard overhead, but it never lasted longer than a few seconds.
The birds didn’t seem to be in a very talkative mood this morning.

Still, Riane enjoyed the quiet. It never lasted long, not in this
place. The forest was her safe haven, a place she could go and feel right
at home. She was becoming very skilled at covering her tracks. She would
go deep into the woods where others couldn’t follow, not that anyone ever
tried.

As Riane went deeper into the canopy of trees, the creatures of
the forest began to arouse. Noisy birds twittered above. The smaller
creatures, like rabbits, scampered through the thick underbrush. A
nervous squirrel ran in front of Riane, only to dart into a nearby tree
when it spotted her. It chattered at her angrily from the safety of a
high branch. Riane merely smiled and continued on her way.

But as she walked, a feeling on unease began to trickle down her
spine. The air around her was no longer fresh and crisp, but had gone
stale and musty. Her mouth was dry, like she was eating cotton. A shiver
of fear ran through her as she put her back to the nearest tree. Someone
was watching her. She was no longer alone.

“Who’s there?” she asked in a hoarse whisper. Her eyes darted
from one spot in the trees to another as she strained to hear any extra
movement. All was quiet and still.

Riane knew someone else was close by. She could feel it in the
back of her mind. The presence was so strong, it took all she had not to
bolt into the safety of the trees.

Okay, she thought. Just turn around slowly and go back to the
house. If it’s an animal, it’ll most likely just go away if I show I’m
not afraid.
But as Riane began to move towards the house, a black mass
made itself visible on the opposite side of the path. It was huge and
was standing upright, like a well-built human. It stopped a moment,
mirroring her stance perfectly. Then it moved behind her, out of her
sight.

Her escape route blocked, Riane’s heart rate sped up. Now what?
She thought. She could always go straight and try to outrun it, but it
could easily overpower her. She knew that. But if the thing was human,
she could make a run for it into the trees and try to outwit it. With its
size, it couldn’t easily pursue her through the thicker parts of the
forest.

Her mind made up, Riane took a deep breath and took off running.
Just as she expected, the thing followed behind. It was much faster than
she had anticipated, but that only made her run faster.

And yet her companion perused her with such ease. No matter what
Riane did, it would always be a few paces behind her. She could see it
sometimes in her peripheral vision, yet every time she turned, no one
was there.

Hurtling over a fallen tree, she skidded to a stop before the
river. Breathing hard, she looked back to see the mass far away, but
getting closer. Looking down at the river currents, she wondered if she
would be able to make it to the other side.

It was getting closer, she didn’t have much time left. Either
she jumped and risked dying, or she didn’t and possibly face something
far worse. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and jumped into the
river.

The sharp, cold water washed over her, and the shock of it caused
her to gasp. Swallowing mouthfuls of water, she tried to kick off the
river floor to the surface. But the rocks were too slippery for her to
get a good foot hold. As more water entered her lungs, she began to panic.

I don’t want to die! She thought despairingly as the current pulled
her along. She thrashed her arms around, trying to grab at something and
pull herself out. Feeling a thick root scratch against her right hand,
she gripped it and pulled her way onto the other bank.

Heaving up the water from her lungs, she crawled her way up the
riverbank to safety. When the coughing subsided she allowed her arms to
give way. She laid there on her stomach, trying to catching her breath.
She opened one eye to stare at the other side of the river where her
unwanted pursuer stood. Cloaked in shadow, he stared at her, and she
stared back at him. Riane’s whole body was tense. Would it really risk
crossing the river just to get to her? What would be the point? Her
heart pounded nosily in her chest as she waited to see what it was going
to do. Her pursuer turned and began walking back into the forest. It was
giving up.

Riane was so relieved, she felt like crying. Letting her body
finally relax, she closed her eyes and let out the breath she hadn‘t
realized she was holding.

Splash! Her eyes snapped open. Lifting her head, she glanced to
the river anxiously. Her heart sped up when she spotted what she was
searching for. Her pursuer was in the water, and it was headed right
for her. Letting out a cry of distress, Riane scrambled back to her feet
and sprinted with new-found energy away from the river. It wasn’t long
until she heard footsteps pounding behind her.

“Leave me alone!” she cried as she turned back to throw a rock
at it. She heard a grunt as the stone hit its mark. Not bothering to do
it again, she just focused on getting away. Soon the footsteps faded
away into nothing, and Riane no longer felt its presence near her.
Deciding it was safe enough to slow down, Riane leaned against a nearby
tree to catch her breath. Looking around her, she tried to see if
anything looked familiar to her.

Nothing did. She was deeper in the woods than she had ever been,
and now she was completely and utterly lost. Holding her head in her
hands, she let out a pitiful moan and slid onto the ground. How did this
happen? She had only wanted to go for a walk in the woods like she did
every morning. Why did today have to be different? Rubbing her wet eyes,
she sighed and got back to her feet. There was no use just sitting here
and feeling sorry for herself. That wouldn’t help. Maybe if she kept
going, she could eventually find a road and get someone to take her back
to her house. That or a police station.

On weary feet she continued onward, hoping to find something
that could lead her back to civilization. Her walking led her to a
narrow path through the trees. A path meant that, possibly, there were
people close by. Feeling a swell of hope, Riane stepped confidently
onto the small, dirt road.

She walked for what seemed like hours, the forest becoming
denser. Had she made a wrong turn? No, the path was completely straight,
there was no way she could make a wrong turn.

The trees reached out for one another, blocking any clue that
the sun was beaming just above her head. Everything got darker,and
gloomier, and more forbidding. It seemed as though this small, forgotten
path was going to go on throughout eternity. Riane felt her hope seeping
away, until she saw the light breaking through the trees ahead of her awhile
later.

It was so bright it was like a beacon, beckoning her to a
promised safety and dry clothing.

Unable to contain herself, Riane took off running towards the
light. She almost stumbled more than once on an upturned root or wayward
stone, but she didn’t care. Her freedom from the horror that shrouded
her was only a few steps away. A small giggle of uncontained glee welled
up and bubbled over inside of her chest as she barreled her way through
the opening in the trees.

It was a clearing, and it was perfectly circular. In the
middle of the sea of deep green was a giant oak tree. As the wind swept
by, the grass bowed to it in awesome wonder, and the giant wriggled its
sage fingers in reply. Riane would have thought it all simply beautiful,
if she wasn’t so disappointed. She let out a pitiful wail as tears stung
her eyes. Her hands were balled into fists, and she crushed them into
her eyes to stop the frustrating tears. Would this day ever end?

The only thing keeping Riane on her feet was the strange tug she
felt to go and sit under the oak. Every weary step caused the giant to
grow. Soon enough Riane found herself covered in its shadow as it loomed
over her in a protective way. Every branch, every crisp leaf seemed to
reach out to her as if for an embrace. Riane was mesmerized. She no
longer felt the weight of fatigue nagging at her limbs, but felt as
light as air. Her fear and desperateness was washed away by curiosity
and wonder. This tree was pure magic, and she wanted to touch it.

Fingers itching, she raised her palm to let it rest against the
rough bark of the tree. But as soon as her hand had made contact, the
bark underneath it began to glow and grow hot. Startled, Riane went to
pull her hand away but found she couldn’t. It was if her hand had been
welded to the surface of the tree. It was if she had become the tree.
The sheer power of it was so raw, it caused her to gasp aloud in shock.
She could feel everything, the air curling around her fingers, the
scrape of a robin’s talons as it landed on one of the oak’s many
branches above her. She could hear the river gushing from miles away as
a deer dipped its head into its shallows for a quick drink. The forest
around her seemed to come alive in vibrant shades and hues of color
she’d never noticed before. It was as if her senses had been put into
hyper drive. And all of this happened in the spilt second before the
giant swallowed Riane whole in a vibrant light, leaving no trace of her
behind to be discovered

←- SSOVU- An Introduction (Of Sorts) | Summer Waking; Chapter Two -→

DateNameComment 
24 Jan 2009:-) Désirée Dippenaar
*first comment twirl* Sorry for taking ages to come and read!! I had exams 8

Nitpicks first:
"The only sound to be heard were her footfalls" - this is complicated... because technically it’s correct but it would be better if the ’amounts’ fit over... like "The only sound to be heard was the padding of her footfalls" or something similar...
"dart [o]nto a nearby tree"
"her companion per[sued] her"
"and possibly face[d] something" - or ’would face’
"I don’t want to die! [s]he thought"
"She [lay] there"
"How [had] this happen[ed]?"
"Her fear and desperateness" - desparation? 14


:-) Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "Oh, goodness! Good eye yu have there! 17 I wonder how the lovlies over at YWS missed those. 10 Silly me. I’ll get right on to fixing them."
24 Jan 2009:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Now for the real comment! 14

I really like this - it’s a huge improvement from the original version of ’Fairy Crossing’, so much added detail! Great use of descriptive language (sounds, colours etc... could add more but it’s great), and you built up the atmosphere very well.

I especially liked the last bit with the old tree - it really comes across how magical it is! Also by the extending of that split second in which Riane touches the tree, before she’s sucked into it. Very good 2

Oh, and I love the use of a Narnia quote at the beginning. Are you going to be putting quotes at the beginning of every chapter now? And talking about every chapter: is there more coming? *puppy-dog eyes* By the by: this story is excellent and needs more readers! I’m considering making a tour or something with this story or some of your others in it... when I get the time.

Oh, and Happy Chinese New Year! 1 *gives you mandarin oranges* And God bless!

:-) Corrine 'Princess Muffin' Hunsher replies: "Oh, yay! Oranges! P:
To tell you the truth, the only part I actually like about this is the tree! Ah, I’m probably going to add/ destroy a bit of this chapter and repost it... someday. >.< I’m so slow!
Chapter two... I have no idea what’s going on there. P: But it is finished, and I’m putting a ticket in for it in 3... 2... 1...now. Bye!"
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About 'Summer Waking':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher
 • Copyright: ©Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Faes, Girl, Tree, Magic, Faeries, Faerie
 • Categories: Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Celtic
 • Views: 188


More by 'Corrine ´Princess Muffin´ Hunsher':
Fairy Crossing Chapter Five
Distant Memory- One
A Hand Full Of Magic* Prologue_
Children of the Wind (poem)
SSOVU- An Introduction (Of Sorts)
The Untouchable War
A Hand Full Of Magic* Chapter One_
Fairy Crossing Chapter Four

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