"The Darkest Color of Blood - Part 2" by Rita Martins R. Silva

The Darkest Color of Blood - Part II

~*~

T

he night was as cold as the one of the fatidic day of my change. I had escaped from Nicholas de Thinan’s mansion but I didn’t feel any relief. Instead I was scared. Scared of the world, the normal world where I could no longer belong to, scared of my own reactions towards that same world, scared of what might happen to me if I was caught, scared that my life was becoming something utterly alien to me. And, without a single care in the world, the night greeted me with its coldness and emptiness...

Tears of despair rolled down my face, hot and at the same time as cold as ice, as I found my way through the deserted alleys of the city where once I had belonged. No longer I felt the warmth such a feeling could provide. No longer could I truly say I was part of something, of somewhere. I wasn’t even a part of the Vampire Family; I didn’t feel like one should feel. I was different.

And I was too weak to give any other step. I let myself sprawl down on the floor, feeling all my strengths leaving me rapidly, feeling pain, an excruciating pain, hitting me in my mind, my body. Then a sound in my left side took my attention. It was a small brown-yellow cat, a street cat, poking through the trashcans and all the garbage in the alley where I had fallen. Using my last bit of strength I called the little animal. He looked at me, with those wide blue cat eyes, curious over what I wanted of him. Trusting he came to me. He was a fine animal but now he was only food. When he came into my reach I grabbed him. A low wail was all that he could let out before he died.

Even with the cat’s blood, I was still very weak. I dragged myself onto a corner between some cardboard boxes and I stayed there, resting. I didn’t know how long I had until dawn and I was afraid I wouldn’t have the strengths to drag myself from the light to the darkness. I felt all my hopes rapidly leaving my heart, if I still was allowed to have one, as quickly as my strengths were leaving me. Though tired, I felt no wish to sleep. I was indeed a night’s creature. And, at the moment of the sun’s rising, I would be dead.

Hundreds, thousands, of memories flooded through my mind as I recalled every little aspect of my life. My childhood, my adolescence, my almost adulthood. My very first doll, my very first bicycle, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first heartbreaking love affair, my graduation from High School, my first day at University... my last birthday, my last day as human... my near death. In a few moments all the happy melancholic memories were replaced by dark and horrible thoughts. Damn, why had this happened to me? What had I done of so odious to deserve such fate? If I didn’t die now, I would die sooner or later. Or worst, I would have to live. Maybe like one of them, those hateful sons's of the devil...

I felt the little self-control I still had breaking inside me and I cried my heart out. A vampire isn’t supposed to cry, I could hear my mind’s voice saying but I ignored it. I might be a vampire but I wasn’t going to act like one. I didn’t want to be one. I just wanted my life back. Get over yourself, girl. You’re a vampire now, there’s no way to change it. Better start acting like one. I really hated that awful little voice that spoke in my head all the time, pointing all the truth that I always wanted to avoid. I hardly ever listened to it so I shut it down. I had too much in my mind to be worrying about the unwanted truth of my subconscious mind.

Then I heard it... and felt it also. There was someone approaching and if my feelings were correct, it wasn’t a human being. I tried to hide myself, rather stupidly, may I add, as if I could feel the other vampire, it meant he or she could feel me too. But I was too tired to run, too exhausted to try to fight whoever (maybe whatever was the right word) was coming my way, too hopeless to have hopes, so I just stood there, among the cardboard boxes, the garbage, the broken bottles and shredded clothes, waiting.

And it was then that I passed out completely. I fainted. It had never happened to me before and I believe it was a rather embarrassment situation to be in when waking up, especially with me being now part of the so-called all powerful family of nightwalkers, for lack of a better euphemism.

I woke up in a strange, unfamiliar room. Again. I was starting to wander if I was fated to wake up in strange places all the time... First it had been in one of the rooms in Nicholas de Thinan’s house, though unfortunately, I had become quite familiar with the room (I still shivered every time I remembered those horrible crimson velvet walls, the red carpeting, the red curtains, the all too much red room. I felt like throwing up on the spot), then it was this one. Fortunately, it was much nicer than the last one. Though, as I noticed, it was a typical man’s room. Some kind of Art Deco style, mixed with some classical lines in some of the furniture. The door’s room was open and I could see the similar style in what seemed to be the living room. And, as I noticed right away, there were no windows. I was again under some vampire’s domain, and I didn’t know if being with Nicholas de Thinan was the worst that could happen to me.

I was lying on the room’s bed and, as I noticed, someone had undressed me. My only coverings were the sheets and thin blanket of the bed. Which meant I couldn’t go anywhere without having to walk around without clothes. I was too shy to that. So I stayed under the covers, waiting to see if anyone would come for me. The only question remaining was where the hell was I and who had taken me? Okay, that made two questions but algebra was the last thing I was thinking at the moment. To say the truth, there wasn’t many thoughts crossing my mind at the time, at least not anything rational and logical.

Then I heard footsteps and that same feeling I had had in the alley hit me. I pretended I was still out cold but whoever it was kept coming until I felt someone sitting right next to me. For a moment nothing happen, no words were said. Then I heard a male voice, rather smooth and good to hear, though not as husky or sensual as Nicholas’ voice. I wonder why his voice kept coming into my mind...

"I know you’re awake."

There was no reason to keep pretending so I opened my eyes and faced the man. He was tall, though I was only seeing him seated. But there was no doubt that he was tall, and attractive in a certain way. Light brown hair, short and somewhat curly at the tips, hazel eyes, strangely nice and warm, with no hint of that darkness I had noticed in Nicholas. He also had a pale skin though not as cadaverous as I was expecting from a vampire. The vampires I had met over Nicholas’ house had become my stereotypic idea of a vampire. I realized they were not the only ones in existence. At least I hoped this wasn’t one of them...

He caught me studying him and smiled softly. He held something in his hand, I noticed when my eyes drifted from his face. It was a bottle. He followed my eyes and delivered me the bottle. I could see now that it contained blood. I looked quizzically to the man. I wasn’t expecting to find blood in a bottle. I thought blood came from living people’s bodies, not from a bottle. Surprise, surprise, I still had much to learn.

I moved away from the bottle as much as I could without falling from the bed or uncovering myself. I didn’t want any blood though I was starving. There was no way I would drink human blood.

"It’s not human." He said, almost as if reading my thoughts. "It’s cow. I still didn’t found the time to drop by at the hospital for a refill." Noticing my confused expression he let out a laugh and explained. "It’s easy and it doesn’t attract suspicions if you have in your medical records a case of hemophilia. I can get pretty much all the blood I need. Nothing very complicated." He extended his free hand to me. "I’m Jason. You are?" He was clearly expecting an answer but none came out of my mouth. I lowered my eyes and suddenly found a new interest in my own hands. I didn’t look at him, nor at the bottle that I knew he still held.

"It’s understandable that you don’t trust me. I believe you’re a very young one and whoever brought you across or was stupid or was irremediably enchanted by you, which isn’t that hard to understand, but it’s clear that you aren’t coping with this very well. I didn’t either, when my time came. I still am trying to cope with it. It’s been, let me see, three hundred years, or something around there." He got off the bed. "I’ll leave the bottle here. You need to eat." He walked to the door and he looked one last time to me before leaving. The door stayed open. It seemed he didn’t want me to feel like a prisoner. Too late. Being locked inside that awful room in Nicholas residence had marked me forever. And, knowing what I knew about vampires, this forever might be literal. And that thought positively scared me.

I eyed the bottle suspiciously but there was no way I could fight my growing need for food (better say blood; I was no longer allowed to even think of food as solid, diverse aliments). I grabbed the bottle and drank all the blood without even realizing it. At least I didn’t have to kill anyone. My stomach longed for more but I would probably have a major indigestion if I ate too much after spending this long without food. I wondered, if I felt so weak after less than a night without eating, how could I expect to hang on to life (if I had a life!) if I had to stay days without it? I never expected to be so weak.

"I’m glad to see you’ve drank the blood." His voice startled me and I looked at the door where he stood. So caught up to my thoughts I was that I didn’t even felt him approaching. "You were starving and I didn’t really like to see you collapsing again on me. Once is enough. I had to carry you all the way here from that alley. By the way, because I don’t want to spend my time calling you ‘the famished woman I found in the alley surrounded by garbage’ it would be far better if you’d tell me your name."

For the first time in that night I felt a small smile appearing in my lips. With great effort I was able to speak, though in a whisper so low I could hardly hear it.

"Kathryn."

"Well, nice to meet you Kathryn." He said. I looked at him surprised. How had he been able to hear me if I had trouble myself in doing so? "Vampires have a very sharpened hearing. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed this earlier." Again, he seemed to read my thoughts. It was strange but he had much more experience in this business than I. He had most probably met other young vampires in his lifetime so he knew what they thought. Three hundred years, he had said? He didn’t look a day over twenty-six or twenty seven, in my opinion. Hard to imagine him as old as he said he was. Three hundred years? I had trouble imagining myself with thirty, let alone with three centuries or more.

I started to feel somewhat sleepy and I had to muffle a yawning. He noticed it and smiled. He had a very nice smile.

"The day is about to rise so it’s natural that you feel sleepy. I’ll let you alone now. We’ll talk after you rest. You need to regain your strengths." He said and he left the room, this time closing the door, but I didn’t hear the familiar noise of it being locked. Good. I hated to be locked. It wasn’t a very pleasant situation.

When I woke up again I suspected it was already night. It felt like my strengths were back in my body once again. The sleep had indeed refreshed me. I sighed more relaxed, more happily. I was going to jump from the bed and start doing some push-ups or just wander around the house when I remembered I still lacked of clothes. Then I saw a pair of jeans and a large sweatshirt in a chair. They hadn’t been there when I had fallen asleep. He had put them there while I slept. I didn’t know if the thought of having a man in the same room as I without realizing he was there was very comforting... Well, at least he seemed nicer than the others I had met. But trusting a vampire wasn’t exactly what I intended to do. I was too damned scared about all of this to trust anyone, human or not.

I dressed myself quickly, lamenting the lack of underwear. Well, I’d have to find some somewhere. Right now, I was more interested in exploring my surroundings than anything else, except maybe for food. I was hungry again.

Barefoot, and with a sweater that was bigger than anything I had ever wear before in my life, I left the room. The house was silent and I didn’t feel Jason anywhere. I looked around, noticing that I was right when I guessed earlier that the living room was decorated in the same style as the room, though with less furniture than a normal house would have. And no windows once again. A typical vampire apartment. The kitchen was a small space inside the living room with a marble counter that separated it from the rest of the room. I found my way to the refrigerator and I was happy to find more bottles of blood. I took one.

The front door was closed which meant I couldn’t leave so I sprawled myself on the couch, brought my knees to my chin and stood there, looking at nowhere, drinking from the bottle occasionally. It was in this position he found me when he got home.

"Glad to see you up." He said as he entered his home. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." I answered, or rather I whispered. He still heard me. A sharp hearing does came in hand when one needs it.

"Good. And I see you’ve helped yourself in the fridge." There was a hint of mock in his voice though too subtle I decided not to pursue it.

"I was hungry." I replied. I felt no embarrassment whatsoever for having taken a pick at his fridge. Not that he expected me to be.

"Its night out there. I would take you for a walk but I suspect you’re not in the mood for it. What happened to you? Care to tell me?" He sat next to me, but keeping a considerable distance so I could feel relaxed. I had to smile thankfully. He seemed to know exactly what to do to make me feel comfortable. But I wasn’t really ready to talk about what had happened to me. I shook my head negatively, without looking at him. I kept rocking back and forth with my chin over my knees, my arms around them, my eyes looking forward but seeing nothing. I could say I was in an apathetic state of being. Too much had happened and I was still trying to cope with it, and I wasn’t exactly succeeding. Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind and my hands moved rapidly to my mouth, searching for my canine teeth. They were completely normal. I looked at Jason surprised and he just shook his head in amusement.

"They only come out when they’re needed, when we want them to." He explained. "We spend much of our time looking like every other human being."

"Do the eyes change color too?" I asked, remembering all the movies and books I had seen and read, realizing how easily a conversation could start when a person’s curiosity was stimulated, especially by fear. He must have been expecting that question because he answered right away.

"Yes, usually. I don’t really know if it’s the same to every one of us but it usually changes, yes."

"Garlic, crosses, holy water and all that, do they really hurt?" Now I was on the roll.

"Yes to the three though we can very well surpass the damn garlic imposition if we choose to ignore the horrible smell..." He laughed and I had to laugh too though, in my hears, my laugh appeared to be more like a snort than anything else. I wasn’t quite ready to lighten the mood, as people say. "Crosses don’t exactly have to scare us away but they do burn when in contact with us, even those that don’t quite accept the truth or norm of being a vampire. Yet, those things do hurt. I know someone that..." He trailed off when he noticed my absent-minded look. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to listen to this subject anymore. Now I just wanted to cry or scream or punch something with all my strengths.

"You don’t want to talk anymore?" He said after a heavy silence. "I understand if you don’t. I remember a time when I acted just like you towards all people."

I just nodded. We stood there again in silence, and, strangely, it was a somewhat comfortable silence. It was strange because I always felt uncomfortable when people stayed a long time without speaking. It always indicated a lack of common ground, of common tastes, of common interests. When people stayed silent it was because they had nothing to say to each other. In this case, I did have many things in my mind I wanted to ask, to talk about, but I couldn’t command my spirit. And this, if I still had one, wasn’t in the mood to commence a conversation.

"Well, I’m around here, so, if you’d like to talk, I’m at your disposal." He said as he got up from the couch. "You have to accept what you are now because if you don’t, I won’t be able to help. And I want to." He paused and whispered. "And I’m not the only one."

These last words were incomprehensible to me, as I had no idea what he meant with them. And I had no time to ask because he left the house, or whatever this was. I was once again alone.

Being alone wasn’t as inviting like it was before. Yet, I didn’t want company either, and these two contradictory wishes weren’t very good to my current state of mind. In less than no time I had died, resuscitated as a vampire, been forced to see other vampires murder innocent people, I had run, almost died again, I had been found, fed and now I was in here, sitting in the living room of another vampire, a complete stranger to me, that, at least, didn’t seem to be as evil as one might think. This if he wasn’t pretending... I decided then, in a sudden thought, that I needed, I had to trust him. I couldn’t go on alone. I wouldn’t hang on. I wasn’t strong enough to survive alone in my current state.

With this thought in my mind, I got up from the couch were I had been sitting and I left the room, the house or apartment or whatever this was, and I went looking for him. I found out, once outside, that the house was some sort of modified basement room. I also found Jason sitting on a wooden crate, reading a newspaper. Well, vampires also needed to keep in touch with the world, didn’t they?

He noticed me even before I was within his eye range. If it had been because of that sharpened hearing or because of the feeling I guessed any vampire had whenever in range of another, I couldn’t say because I wasn’t very experienced in neither.

"You decided you could trust me?" He asked, not even lifting his eyes from the newspaper he was reading.

"I have nothing better to do and I have no one to go to now. I guess I’ll have to trust you." I said, my voice a little shaky but clear.

"Good. Then I’ll introduce you to some friends of mine that would like to help you as I want. Want to come with me?"

"Where?" I asked.

"To the underground." His answer served to make my chin fall ion surprise though I shouldn’t. I should have guessed that the underground was the best place for a vampire to keep him or her from the sun’s range.

"Where in the underground? You mean we’ll have to go through the sewers and..." I trailed off. I really didn’t like the idea of walking through the sewers.

"The sewers are very well taken care off." He said, with a mocking smile. I felt an urge to stick my tongue out to him. I didn’t, though. It was an action way too childish, in my opinion. "The underground have become the best haven for vampires. Through them we can travel throughout the entire city without needing to expose ourselves to the sunlight. The sewers are the closest one could get to a labyrinth and it goes all the way around town. To those who are used to it, there’s nothing to worry about. Many think that it is better here than... well... in any other place. Though this might sound unbelievable to you. Liking to live in the sewers, with the rats and the garbage and all that..."

I just looked at him with my eyebrow risen. I knew he was kidding me, though not about living in the sewers. That I believed.

"Okay, okay." He granted. "We found an old abandoned subway station. We live there. No rats are allowed though, and if they do appear, we are forced to invite them for dinner."

"Dinner?" That surprised me but before I could verbalize my questions he answered them for me.

"We don’t kill people, Kathryn. None of those I know kills. Some never did, others stopped when it became too much to them. We’re not killers. We survive with what we can have without having to... kill. It’s easier nowadays. A hundred years ago, you couldn’t just walk to an hospital and ask for a pack of blood, could you?"

"You don’t? I didn’t know that..." My voice refused to let anything else go. I had had a fairly bad impression of vampires with the ones I had met in Nicholas de Thinan’s house, and I wasn’t ready to encounter others so reluctant to feed on humans as I was. I should have imagined that. There was something of human still left in our hearts after the transformation, though, it seemed, only some could bring it to the surface. I felt a wave of relief flooding my being. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had found my salvation in this world of horrors.

My newfound joy made me jump to Jason and squeeze him in a hug. He returned the embrace a little more pleased than what I was ready to accept at the time so I let go of him, hoping my cheeks weren’t too red from blushing. He laughed at me, relaxed.

"Tomorrow we’ll meet my companions." He said. "Tonight they’ll probably go out so it’s better if we go to them in the morning. Do you want to come, then?"

"Yes."

"Now, are you ready to tell me what happened to you?" The change of subject caught me unguarded, and I stared at him wordlessly. For a few moments I couldn’t say a thing, no sound could get out of my mouth.

"Please?" He insisted, his eyes almost begging me to tell him. He wanted to know but if it was for mere curiosity or because he genuinely cared, I wasn’t sure. I hoped it was the latter. So, this left me with a dilemma. Would I tell him about Nicholas de Thinan, about what I had been through in that house of his, of what I would have suffered in there if that woman hadn’t been there to lead me out there.

"The usual." I managed to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put in my voice. "I got bitten, I got transformed." I tried to keep the subject away. I really didn’t feel like talking about my fears, my stupidity, the fatidic night where so much had happened. Though, deep within my heart, I longed to let it all go. I suspected if he insisted one more time, I would let it all go. But he didn’t. He noticed my uneasiness and he let it go. I smiled relieved, and he smiled back.

"Let’s go inside the house, if that’s even allowed to be called that." He said.

"It is. It’s yours. It can be called whatever you want." At least he had a home. Mine was now just a memory. I knew I could never return there. I could never have a normal life. I thought of my parents. Of my friends, of how they would react to my disappearing. They would try to find me, until they would give up, thinking I was dead. I was dead, though not completely dead. But I knew I would have to die to my family. I could never see them again. I couldn’t let them know what had happened to me, what I had become. I remembered all the time we had shared, and all the time we had been apart. And all the things I had been avoiding to think about came sweeping in. I barely made it to Jason’s house and when I saw myself in there, I launched my body to the couch and I cried. I cried all the tears I thought I didn’t have anymore.

How could I go on without the love of my parents, the warmness of my friends, the life I had? So much had been left to say, so much had been left to do. There had been so much time ahead of me and now... now I had even more time, but not to do what I wanted, what I needed to do. I cried until there were no more tears to shed and then my unhappiness, my hopelessness, transformed itself to anger, then hate. A dark, deep, murdering hate. And as quickly as it came it was gone. It wasn’t in me to hate, for more that I wanted, not now, at least. Not when my mind was filled with my life’s images. I cleared my face of tears and I sat on the couch, noticing that Jason was staring at me, worry and sympathy in his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" He asked.

I was ready to say no but a feeling that urged me to talk to him stopped me. Again, I brought my knees up and I landed my chin on them, my arms surrounding my legs. I started to tell him about my birthday, the night when I had completed my twenty third birthday. The night when it had all ended. I didn’t look at him as I told him of Nicholas de Thinan, of his house, of the people (if I could still call the other vampires that), of the dinner, and of the woman who had saved me from a fate I feared. When I finished I lifted my eyes to him and I saw his rage. I also saw that these feelings had changed his features. His teeth had grown and the eyes were blood red, with only glimpses of their natural color. I instinctively tried to keep as far away as possible of him and when he noticed this he changed back to his normal self.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you." He looked genuinely worried.

"I guess I should be used to it after seeing so many in Nicholas home, but I can’t. My mind keeps saying it’s unnatural, it isn’t something that is supposed to happen."

"Nothing of this ever is, Kathryn." He whispered truthfully. A silence set itself over us. I was getting used to these silences. Then I broke it.

"Tell me what happened to you." I said. I had told him my story, it was time for him to tell me his. He shifted uncomfortably in the couch and he looked to his hands as if he had found a new interest in them. Then, seeming to have reached a decision within his mind, he turned to me.

"My story is very typical." He started. "I had a wife, she died, I wanted to die too. I was denied that wish." He stopped and looked down again. I knew he wouldn’t say anything else if I didn’t insist which I did.

"Go on."

If he was a normal human being I would imagine him sighing right now but vampires are dead, they don’t breathe, so he couldn’t sigh. Unfortunately. I had found more than once that that simple and single act could somewhat clear up one’s soul.

"How can I go on? How can I begin?" He asked himself, rhetorically. "My wife was always a fragile woman but after she got sick during a trip we made to France, she got sicker than she usually did. After that she kept getting worse and worse. She almost got mad with the pains that assaulted her constantly. Then one night she died, in complete agony. I died with her that night. At least my heart and my mind did." He paused and stared at the wall for a few moments. Then his eyes turned to me. He went on. "Three nights after my wife’s death I tried to find a way to kill myself. I got drunk in some tavern in some place and I was ready to just die. I didn’t know how. I could as easily pick up a fight I know I couldn’t win as I could throw myself in front of a wagon in motion or throw myself from a cliff, or even go to an herbarium and buy some kind of poison so I could drink it and slowly feel my life abandoning my body." He let go a bitter laugh. "Then a woman appeared before me, trying to seduce me. I didn’t know then she was a vampire. Though, back in the time I lived in, such creatures were believed to exist, I didn’t think the stories were true. I was always one of those who think that, if we can’t see, it’s because it isn’t there. I had never seen a vampire, I never believed them real. Until the woman came. I was still too hurt from my wife’s death to care for anything else so the woman must have though it as an affront to her seductive charm. She wanted to kill me but then she changed her mind. As she fed on me she saw my memories, she read inside my soul. She knew I wanted to die so she denied me that. She let me live. Like one of them. And that’s about all. I denied her guidance, I denied the urges of her dark mind and so I wandered on my own throughout the country until I found others like me, who didn’t want to give in to the darker side of being a vampire either. And this is how you came to meet me."

I watched him intently, noticing the pain of memories flooding him. After, how long? Three hundred years? He still thought of his past with all the pain as if it had happened only yesterday. Maybe memory in a vampire didn’t fade as time passed. Maybe it kept tormenting and tormenting... never stopping the haunt, never stopping the agony. Maybe, if I lasted as long as he, I would also remember these moments as if they had happened just the day before. That thought terrified me. Once I had wished I could have one of those photographic memories so I could remember everything my teachers said or everything I read in the textbooks. We should always be careful with what we wish for. It might just come true. As I looked at Jason I added to my thought that not all wishes came true. Sometimes, what happened was entirely different of what we wanted.

"After... after this... didn’t you ever think of suicide? I mean, you could have walked under the sunlight... and..." I stopped talking because what I was saying wasn’t the best thing I should have said at the moment. Fortunately, he seemed to have lost all inhibitions over talking about his past to me. He was ready to let it all out.

"The thought crossed my mind. But I was scared. And, the first moments of my new life, or death, or whatever this is, were very confusing to me. I know they must have been confusing to you."

I smiled weakly and nodded affirmatively, not daring to speak anymore, afraid my voice would sound like that of a stranger. I doubted I had any control over it at the moment.

"And when the cloud of confusion was wiped out of my mind, I could no longer think of killing myself. I was a coward. That’s the plain truth. I was hurting, I was pained, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to kill myself as I once had wanted. Maybe the last time had showed me what could happen if I tried to commit suicide. I don’t know... I think I’ve said too much..."

Another silence. This time it was somewhat uncomfortable and I shifted uneasily in my place. This had been a very difficult moment for both of us, to open our souls this way, to tell of our lives, of our fears, of our wishes, of our nightmares. If it had been hard to me, I tried to imagine what it was like to him. If I thought I had suffered, I was mistaken. Suffering... I knew little of it, of what it really meant. It hadn’t been me that had lost a wife, who had lived with the sickness, who had seen the one I loved gradually weaken before my eyes, who had died when she had died, who had wanted to die physically like he was already mentally. I hadn’t been deprived of my only wish. Instead, I always had wanted to live and it seemed my wish had been fulfilled though in a way I didn’t expect or wanted. Indeed, what did I knew of true pain?

"No. Don’t do that." He said suddenly.

"Do what?" I asked surprised.

"Don’t think your pain is unjustified, that your fear and suffering is not as important or as deep as mine. Don’t ever think like that." My mouth must have been hanging open because he smiled knowingly. "After three hundred years a person really learns how to read one’s soul by the person’s expressions or the look in the person’s eyes."

"The eyes are the mirrors of souls." I added, understanding. He nodded.

Well, after these heart-breaking moments, I felt like I needed to change subject. I went to the only other subject I remembered.

"Who are this friends of yours? How many are down there? When did you meet them? Do they..." I couldn’t finish my questions as he interrupted me with a laugh, shaking his head with amusement.

"Hold your horses, girl." He said, his right arm outstretched in front of him, his palm wide open in a characteristic gesture to stop. "Let me see if I remember even half of your words." I had to chuckle at that. "Let me see. I told you that these friends of mine are vampires like me, who don’t go around killing people for pleasure and not even for feeding. I really love this century if only because of the possibilities it has for vampires. Then again... Never mind. Anyway, there are a few of us, some scattered around the country, some in other countries, but they’re mostly here in this city, about twenty to thirty. We’re never exactly together all the time but when we need each others we can just call. It’s a brotherhood of vampires, you could say. A family. A community. One that has learned how to live among humans and respect their lives."

"There aren’t many that do that, are there?" I asked.

"No. There aren’t. Recently it has become somewhat of a problem to raise new vampires to the idea of killing. It’s not as easy as before, when the world was less civilized. That’s why there are so few new vampires nowadays. I’d be surprised that you become one if..."

"If what?"

"If I didn’t see why a vampire could be fascinated by you to the point of transforming you." He said, somewhat embarrassed. I had to blush, though I hoped it didn’t show much. Many people had told me I was pretty but I didn’t have that sensuality men seemed to be looking for these days. I was, like my friend Ally had told me once, a ‘innocent beauty’ and that it was in it that my sensuality laid. I had laughed at her but it had been a sweet thing to say about me. People often thought red headed people were temperamental and plain sexy. I was one of the exceptions. I didn’t had a temper, at least not often, and I was everything but sexy, in my humble opinion. Anyway, it was nice to hear, at least in an indirect kind of way, that I was attractive. Thoughts like this hovered inside my mind and I welcomed them because they made me forget, at least momentarily, of al that had happened. But I knew it wouldn't last forever. Nothing ever does.

I tried to avoid Jason’s eyes and, fortunately, he got up from where he was sitting saying he still had things to do. I couldn’t say if it was an excuse because I really didn’t know what he did every night. I, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to go out so I stayed inside, alone, once again. Driving myself crazy with the silence and the motionless. I think that was what made me turn on the TV in the living room. It was better to have my thoughts concentrated in something besides my current state of mind. A TV contest in one of the dozens of cable channels provided the distraction I so badly needed. I ended up falling asleep on the couch. It seemed like all I did recently was cry, sleep and relieve painful moments. Not the best for my peace of mind. I was loosing control over my life and it seemed all I could do was suffer. I was sick of it. I needed to stop feeling pain. And the next best thing was to, instead of pain, feel hate.

So, I woke up angry, hate fueling my being as gasoline does to a car and I nearly broke my hand on the wall as I hit it with all my strength trying to steam off some of my anger. I was surprised to notice that I had left a pretty deep mark on the wall. Maybe vampires had more strength than regular humans. That thought brought a smile to my lips but I didn't hit anything else. This wasn't my house and I didn't want to bring any expenses to Jason after all that he had done for me. I wasn't too keen of destroying his haven because I was angry at the world and everyone that inhabited it, especially the undead ones. I was mostly angry with myself. But I felt no desire of hitting myself so I fall once again on the couch and decided I needed sleep. Whatever anger or fear or pain or hate or whatever I had, it could wait till the next day. I mean, next night.

 

~*~

 

T

he hideout, as I decided to call to the underground home of Jason's vampire friends, was far more comfortable that one would expect to find in the sewers. Well, it was located in an abandoned metropolitan station but still it was the sewers. It reminded me of some movie I had seen as a child of some mutant teenage bunch of turtles with a talking mouse as a martial arts master and a home in the underground. Entertaining little concept, indeed. Wonder if anyone ever thought of making a movie about modern daytime vampires that didn’t feed on humans and lived in deserted station under the road. I knew they probably wouldn’t capture the true feeling of such a life, of such a community. I didn’t understand at first how it was possible. Then I saw that vampires, at least these ones, had been able to reach an understanding and a bond between themselves far more powerful and long lasting than any... human could ever hope to achieve. Well, they did have the extra advantage of having lots of time to work it out, of course. Still, it amazed me how did beings that weren’t human could achieve a relationship that most searched and never found, no matter what?

Jason guided me through the labyrinth that was the city’s sewer passages. Most of them didn’t smell as bad as I expected, though, in some of them the smell was almost unbearable. If I weren't dead already I would have died by intoxication. I just hoped his friends kept a cleaner surrounding near their... home. I was quite surprised when I stumbled finally into the underground home. It was far cozier than what one may think at first.

I knew immediately that there were more vampires there than those I was ready to confront. I tried to back away, suddenly scared. They might be the good kind of vampires but I wasn’t exactly very tuned in with my own vampiristic state to feel comfortable near others. Jason was different, but he was only one. And down there were even more than those I had found dinning in Nicholas’ home. So I felt my skin crawl and I felt suddenly afraid. I jerked away from Jason’s steady arm that had been guiding me throughout the passages, and I backed two steps and prepared to turn and run. I felt his eyes going wide in surprise and then he looked at me reassuringly when he understood my reservations.

"They won’t hurt you." He said, soothingly. "There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here with you. They will only help you, Kathryn. Come." I stepped away again. "You don’t need to be alone." He whispered to me, calmly, sweetly. I felt like I would crumble down right there. He extended his hand and I took it and we went in.

It certainly wasn’t what I expected. There were about two dozens of vampires there, scattered around the abandoned underground station they had made their home. It was illuminated by electricity which got me wondering how exactly had they gotten light down there. Though not overly luxurious like Nicholas home, this abandoned station was far from uncomfortable. From seventeen century armchairs to nineteen century wood king sized beds, in the compartments they used as rooms, some inside a group of metro carriages that had been probably left behind, anything could be found in that place, even a microwave though for what purpose I couldn’t figure out. It wasn’t like they boiled their morning meal of blood, or did they?

A man in his forties, or at least apparently, approached us. His hair was dark brown, shoulder length, and his gray eyes held nothing one would expect to find in the eyes of an undead. They were not soulless eyes. On the contrary. Jason whispered to me that he was their mentor, almost as old as Thinan himself, and the first one to rebel against the nature of the vampires. Looking to his eyes, a person would see the wisdom of ages. I wondered how old he was. How old Nicholas was.

"Welcome!" He said, gently. "I am Yuri. You must be Kathryn. Our friend here told us of you. Come, let me introduce you to our companions. To our little community."

I just nodded. Trusting this people, this vampires, was not something someone would do lightly and immediately. I myself wasn’t ready to do it in a blink of an eye. The man seemed to understand my reservations. He smiled slightly at me then turned and urged me to follow him to what would be called the master living room.

"You are a new one, aren’t you?" He asked suddenly.

"I guess so..." I answered, not sure what I should say. Jason seemed to notice my uneasiness as he stepped in my aide.

"She was brought across two nights ago. By Thinan."

I could hear Yuri and a couple of other vampires curse under their breaths. I suspected they all knew Nicholas and they didn’t seem to like the man, the vampire, I mean. Considering his love for blood and killing, I could see why he was not on the favorite person’s list of these vampires. He was not in mine either. I knew know why Jason had been so furious after I told him of the night of my... transformation. It was because it had been Nicholas who had done it to me.

"He has gone too far. He had no right to bring her across." I heard one of the vampires yell. "We should attack right away, as we planned."

Attack? Planned? My confusion must have been splattered on my face because Yuri smiled sadly before explained.

"We have been planning an attack to Thinan’s mansion for some time now and we were on the verge of accomplishing it."

"Why would you want to attack them?" I asked.

"We are enemies. We were supposed to be one of their community but we refused." He explained. "We are what they call outcasts and they despise us. They have attacked our community countless times, most for fun. They keep killing, we keep trying to save others from joining the killing and we keep trying to survive. We have been in war for centuries but our group never attacked willingly. Now that has changed."

"We are going to attack before they do." Jason added. "It will take them by surprise because not once before we began the fight."

"So, you’re planning on killing them before they kill you?"

"Exactly." Yuri said. Nods and ‘yes’s’ came from around us. I watched carefully to all those vampires, which seemed to be like any other human but weren’t. Yet, they thought as any other human. Wars never seized to exist, not even in the undead world. The fate of mankind, I guess.

"So, you just go on there and kill them all?" I raised an eyebrow, expectantly.

"More or less. We’ll go for Nicholas de Thinan. He’s our main target."

"Why?"

"He’s the leader. He’s the master. He may look young but he is the oldest of us all and the worst. He doesn’t respect any life and the only person of interest to him is himself. He has power, more power than any of us could hope to possess and that power makes him almost unbeatable." Yuri paused and then looked straight at me. "He has... a certain charm towards women, mostly..." I held his look for as long as I could but, if I was alive, I would have blushed almost until I burst. Yuri was right. He had power and he used it towards women. That was why I had not run away from him in that alley, why every time I tried to fight him I always ended up loosing. I suspected that, if I hadn’t gotten away from his home when I did, he would have controlled me as he did everyone else. Again I thanked the mysterious woman who had saved me.

"You say he has power but you still want to take him down? How?" I suddenly felt fear for this vampires I had just met but with whom I was starting to feel comfortable. It was like some kind of understanding had settled between us. They were different from the others. They were more like... me. And I felt good with Jason at my side. It was then when I reached a decision.

"I want to help."

"Help?"

"Yes. I want to help you fight them. I want to let this anger inside me be released and this is the best way. I want to fight with you against Nicholas de Thinan."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Jason broke it.

"You can’t."

"Why not?" I frowned at him, without understanding why my help was being refused. After all, the more the merrier, right?

"You aren’t strong enough. You haven’t learn the vampire ways yet." A woman said. I stared at her quizzically.

"Vampires have special abilities, Kathryn." Jason said. "You haven’t learned them yet. You need training so you can develop them and control them and we don’t have the time to train you. We were planning on attacking them tomorrow night. I don’t know if we’ll still attack tomorrow but even if we don’t, we’ll do it sooner than what would take for you to learn all you can do."

"And what may that be, anyway?"

There was a soft murmur around me as the vampires gathered to discuss whatever they were discussing. It might be me or it might be just the upcoming battle between... should I say Good and Evil? I don’t dare. My perceptions of Good and Evil have been changed and they’re still changing and I believe they’ll never stop changing. Well, one thing I know for sure. There’s always grey.

"I don’t have the time to talk about it now." Yuri said. "You can wander around our home and meet fellow vampires. Make yourself at home."

I started to protest but a woman I didn't know pulled me rather ruefully. She was strikingly beautiful, with blond hair and blue eyes. She told me her name was Thalia and that she was Yuri’s... companion... of sorts. I wasn’t exactly listening. Oh, I knew she was a nice woman... huh... vampire... but I simply wasn’t listening to her. I was furious for being dismissed like that. There were perfectly reasonable reasons for taking me out of the equation as well as others not as reasonable. I mean, yeah, I was a new one, I didn’t know much about the race of people I had recently joined and I didn’t know much about these ones I had just met. Yet, I wanted to go. I needed to go. I wanted to fight with them against the others. I wanted to make Nicholas pay...

I was never a person to seek revenge. I never hated anyone in my life. It was not in my nature to hate. So the feeling was fairly new. I knew what I felt and I knew what I wanted: to see Nicholas dead. I was starting to develop some nasty little wishes. But there was a little problem. I knew Nicholas de Thinan’s power because I had experienced it myself. I knew what he could do, what he could make me do. I had died because of that power and risen to this New World because of it.

I didn’t leave the underground home when most of the vampires left for their usual night walks. I stayed there, not quite feeling ready to face the world. I had decided something, though. They might not want me to come with them to the battle but I would go, no matter what they said. I decided to follow them inconspicuously, if I managed. Even if I was caught, I would make sure that they didn’t send me away. I could be very stubborn when needed. Well, well, I was starting to think and act way differently than my normal self. Maybe dying did that to people. No more Miss Nice Kathryn. I kind of missed her...

Anyway, I knew now what I would do. And that was what I did when the time came for the attack. Two nights from the night I met them and they were ready to go on in full force. They had it well prepared, they had things well thought. The few women that were going were to never leave from the main hall where they were supposed to fight off Nicholas’ vampires. The men, a few at least, would go on a hunt for the so-called Master Thinan. I would go with them, trailing after them as inconspicuously as I could. I doubted I would make a good spy but I deluded myself thinking I would do good enough for them not to notice me. Yeah, right. Five minutes after they all parted, with me behind, Jason spotted me and frowned. I had no other choice but to go to them. And I certainly didn’t let them send me back. I whined, I begged, I threatened and I nearly jumped on Jason with my fangs on (I didn’t even noticed it until he pointed out to me that I was slightly furious, enough to change my ‘angel-like appearance’ - using his own words). I was surprised at my outburst of anger and I ran my fingers through my teeth, noticing that two of them were slightly elongated. I just stared in shock at the other vampires.

"That’s why we don’t want you to come with us." Yuri said. He was right. I wasn’t ready to do battle. I wasn’t even ready to accept myself as a vampire. But I wanted to do this. I wanted to make them pay, all of them. Especially Nicholas. He had just about ruined my life. Hell, he had ruined my life. I wasn’t even alive anymore. Vampires didn’t breathe, didn’t have a heartbeat... certainly they weren’t alive. Which meant I wasn’t alive.

They finally concede on letting me tag along, sort of. I was instructed, quite clearly, to stay away from any fight that may happen, hide on the background and do nothing. I said them yes, that I would do as they said, I even promised, but I wasn’t going to stand there seeing others fight while I stared at them. I knew that and I was pretty sure Yuri and Jason knew it too. They didn’t say anything, probably realizing that this was something I wouldn’t change my mind about. I was going with them and I would fight with them and I would, I would, see Nicholas die and I would get my life back... I stopped my trail of thought right there because, no matter who died, no matter what happened, I was never going to be human again. I was never going to live ever again. Damn, it seemed I couldn’t get pass my pain and my loathing. I needed to do something about it. But it was impossible as we were once again heading to Nicholas de Thinan’s house. And I was determined to go along with them no matter what.

 

~*~

 

T

here was no light inside the house that we could see from the outside. That was due, most probably, to the carefully sealed windows that kept the sunlight from entering the house. Nothing that indicated that this old stone house was even inhabited. But I knew it was. I remembered this place well, though I had only seen it briefly on the outside when I had ran away from it. But that brief sight had been enough. People hardly forget their nightmares. I knew I wouldn’t forget mine.

We were about twenty-two, twenty-three. I didn’t know how many were living (It’s a wrong term but I’ll let this one pass) in Nicholas’ mansion. I didn’t know how many we would face. Yuri and his friends seemed to think we were evenly matched but neither he nor any one of us believed that. We could even outnumber them for all it took, but they would always be stronger than we would. The only solution was to kill their main source of power. Nicholas. And that would be difficult as Hell. He wasn’t going down easily, that I knew. Everyone knew that. Yet they believed they could take him. If only they could find his weakness. If he even had one. I remembered my father’s words one day, during a conversation we had had, that had started from seeing a documentary of Hitler’s rein of terror.

"Every man has a weakness, Kathryn. We may not know what that is but it’s there. If we want to defeat someone we have to find the weakness. And we can always find it near the strength of that same person. Find what makes a person powerful and you’ll find their weakness right beside." I didn’t really understand what he had meant and I still didn’t. I mean, Nicholas’ strength was his power. And what weakness could he possible possess? His power? Maybe his power made him proud, reckless? I really doubted that. There was nothing of heedless in him. Even in the short time I had known him I had realized that. So, what was his weakness? Did he even have one?

My thoughts needed to stay for later because we had arrived at the house. We went around it, to one of its walls. I knew why. That was where the secret passageway was placed. This was confirmed as I saw the wall open slightly and then a little more. I saw the woman that had helped me waiting there, her smile of encouragement warming what was left of my soul. I smiled at her as I went past her and she smiled back, recognizing me. I heard Yuri call her Shea. I mouthed the words ‘Thank you’ and she nodded in acknowledgment. And I entered the tunnel that would take us inside the house. I felt shivers go down my spine and I doubted it was an effect of the cold night. Vampires, I was told, hardly feel the weather, the temperature. No, it was fear. That I couldn’t hide from myself. I was scared to death... well... let’s rephrase that... I was scared and I had good reasons to be. For the first time since this all started I regretted following my mind’s wishes of revenge. I should have stayed safely in the underground with the other vampires that had stayed.

But I was there and there was no way back. There had never been. I knew that has well as Jason did, or Yuri, or anyone else that knew me in a certain degree. So I followed them through the passages inside the house, I prepared myself for the battle that was forthcoming.

The passage led us to an abandoned storage room. Only then I noticed that some of our group had stayed behind, probably going through yet another passage to another room of the house. Surround the enemy... yes, this seemed more like a war every minute. If I didn’t believe in it before all doubts that we were going to fight to the final death, to the end, were gone. We were in war.

We gathered in the storage room and we prepared to attack. Yuri seemed to know his way around the house. Probably Shea had told him of the many rooms and hallways of the mansion. Anyway, he told us where to start our attack. We divided ourselves into smaller groups and scattered around the house as swiftly and silently as we could. It almost looked like one of those police-action movies or something of the sorts. But here we weren’t fighting armed-to-the-teeth-drug-dealers. We were fighting non-human-blood-sucking-psychopaths. And we weren’t sure we were going to win. Well, at least there was a pretty good chance I’d be killed. That was the best news I had in all this. I mean, I wasn’t coping all too well with my new state of being so death, permanent death, would be one thing to carve.

Then, it happened. The battle began. And there was no coming back.

In less than a minute a dozen vampires came striking at us, and more kept coming. It was frightening. It was horrifying. It was... hallucinating. I found myself enjoying the fight. I hardly ever fought one of the vampires, preferring to stay hidden in the shadows and help only when necessary. Yuri and Jason had asked me... no, ordered me... to do so. I could have ignored them but as I saw them fight I realized why they had told me I wasn’t ready. Because, seeing them fighting, made me realize exactly how inhuman these vampires were. They moved faster then the wind and they possessed a strength higher than a normal person could only dream of having. And as these thoughts crossed my mind, I realized I could probably be as fast and as strong as the vampires that were fighting. But I didn’t know how. How can someone learn how to move at vertiginous speeds? How can anyone learn something like that? Is it something vampires are born knowing? But I don’t know how to move like that. If I knew how I would have joined the battle with a lighter heart and less fear.

Then I saw him. Nicholas de Thinan saw me as well and for a few moments we just stared into each other's eyes, his glowing in a strange shade of yellow-red and mine as green as ever. We stood there, oblivious to anything else happening around us. He smiled then and I felt my hate resurfacing as powerful as ever. So, when he disappeared behind a door, I followed him. I saw him entering what seemed to be a secret passage, hidden, as one may expect, in the all-so famous fireplace. Without even thinking I went after him. Then I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see a furious Jason chasing me. He stopped mere inches from me and, grabbing my arm, he hissed to my face.

"What the Hell do you think you’re doing?"

"I’m going after him!"

"No, you’re not. He’s dangerous. He can kill you! Forever. There will be no coming back this time! He’s too powerful. You can’t, just can’t, take him down!"

"I have to try..." I whispered and before he could say anything else we were surrounded by three vampires. Nicholas’ bodyguards, perhaps? I didn’t really care. I looked at Jason and he looked at me. He had to make a decision and he chose the only one possible, though I know he regretted it the moment he made it and the moment he said it.

"Go after him. I’ll stay here and cover your back." And then he kissed me. He just pulled me into his arms and brushed his lips on mine, then pressed into an almost desperate kiss. I was trembling when he broke it.

"Go!" He yelled, charging against the other vampires.

So I went. I was still shaking, wondering about the kiss, barely able to think anything rational, and I just ran after Nicholas without seeing where I was going. When my mind was logical again I noticed that the secret passage lead to another set of hidden tunnels as the ones which had allowed us to enter the mansion. A lot of secret passageways, this house had. I ended up running up some stairs, following the presence that I had learnt to identify as Nicholas. I kept going up until I stumbled onto an open wall that led... to a terrace. The night was cold and I shivered as the wind caught up with me. Then I saw him, close to the edge of the terrace. He just smiled and then he... jumped down. I stood there, frozen in my position, for a few moments. He had jumped! I ran to the edge of the terrace from where he had disappeared and noticed the veranda. It was ten feet below and it was a considerable way down. Nicholas was nowhere to be seen so that left only one option. He had entered the room with the veranda. I needed to follow him. But to do that I would have to jump... and I was not very inclined on doing it. It was a considerable fall. I could die... damn, no I couldn’t die! I was dead already! Only a stake on my heart, or beheading or fire could kill me now, permanently. So I readied myself, and would have taken a deep breath if I still breathed, and jumped... and I fell on my feet, and no pain overcame me. I was amazed at my new resistance.

Finding that the fall hadn’t hurt me gave me a new confidence, one that shattered the moment I entered the house again by the window and found myself facing a dazzling Nicholas de Thinan. He was smiling, the darkness of his eyes replaced by desire as his eyes traveled down my body. The room was a bedroom, his bedroom, and he was waiting for me. I swallowed, feeling suddenly afraid. Afraid that I would never accomplish what I had set myself to do, afraid I would fall under his power as so many before me... I was afraid. And he must have known it. The smile widened and he extended one of his hands, clearly inviting me to approach him. I was prepared to back away and flee as quickly as possible but then I felt my feet moving and I couldn’t do anything to stop myself from walking to him. His power was great and I had no control over my body. I suspected that soon I would loose my control over my mind as well. He was so close when my feet halted and I stopped. His dark eyes were shinning with mischief, power and desire. He took my hand in his and brought me closer to him, still smiling.

"You made a mistake by leaving, Kathryn." He whispered. I felt my spine shiver. His breath on my face was both frightening and... God in Heaven... exciting. I tried to regain control over myself and fight him off but it was impossible. His grip on my arm didn’t need to be strong. His aura of power was enough to keep me from controlling myself and running away.

"I’m glad you’re back." He kept on whispering. "You’ve never given me the chance of showing you much I like you, dear."

And then he brought his lips to mine and I almost lost the strength in my legs. His arms were the only thing keeping me from falling onto the ground. I hated myself for not being able to run from him but his power was intoxicating and I couldn’t have enough of him. I knew it wasn’t me who was answering his kisses but I couldn’t tell my body and even my mind that. Only my soul was fighting it but it was a fruitless effort. He was clearly enjoying having me under his spell, unable to move, to think, to act, and to do anything. Control was, certainly, without a doubt, everything he wanted, control over everything and everybody. And he was good at it.

"I knew I would have you." He said and his words barely entered my pleasure-shadowed mind. "You’re mine now."

No... no... no...

Whatever sanity was left in me chose that moment to arise but it was a mere whisper in a sea of cries. Whatever strength there was left in me tried to crawl from its hide only to be stepped on by Nicholas higher power. I thought I was lost.

Then, from nowhere and as suddenly as it had happened came that sweet moment when Jason had kissed me and the feelings of warmness, tenderness and hope that accompanied it. They mingled with my hidden strength, one I didn’t know to possess, and with my whisper for freedom and sanity, and I started to fight the shadows of my mind. The whisper started to rise to a scream... No... noooo... NO!

Nicholas had already lowered me to the ground, apparently not patient enough to reach the bed right next to him. My sweatshirt was already being tossed away and I was feeling his breath on my naked chest. I didn’t fight him right away, rather choosing to find something to use as a weapon against him. I knew that my bare hands wouldn’t do much against his experience in battle. He was a lot older than I was...

My eyes fell upon the fireplace, where a fire was burning, heating the bedroom, though I was sure it was not because Nicholas was cold. Merely esthetical intentions, perhaps. But, right in that moment, it possessed the weapon I was searching for. My hand reached out, blindly, to grab the fire poker, and when my finger closed around the warm iron surface, I brought it quickly and swiftly to Nicholas side and plunged it there. He yelled in pain and jumped off me, surprise, anger and pain on his face. He glared at me while trying to take the iron object out of his body. I could see it was starting to burn him, little spirals of smoke coming from the place of the wound.

It was then I remembered that vampires could be killed with fire. I thought no more. I lunged towards the fireplace to catch a burning torch. He seemed to have recovered from the pain and the sharp object I had plunged into him had been taken. I had so little time. He would kill me, I knew it. I needed to destroy him first. So, with all my strength, will and fear I jumped towards him. He almost made it away from me but the torch touched him enough for his clothes to set fire. And from then on the fire kept burning, and I watched, terrified and fascinated, to the sight in front of me. I hardly felt the temperature increasing, I barely noticed the smoke starting to envelop the room, I almost didn’t notice the tingling in my head and body indicating another vampire was near. I just watched as Nicholas de Thinan burned... and disappeared from the face of the Earth. When he was nothing more than ashes, I turned to see who was the new vampire in the room. Jason stood at the door, a shocked look mixed with admiration and respect, his eyes darting from me to the ashes on the floor and again to me. He opened his mouth to speak but not a word left his lips. I tried to smile but then I realized I was trembling. And I was half-naked.

I quickly pulled my sweater on, trying to save myself from more embarrassment, and crossed my arms around my body, trying to calm the shivers that had nothing to do with being cold. Jason’s eyes were on me and, without a word, he walked to me and embrace me, pulling me close to him, burying his head on my hair while mine fell on his shoulder. It was like this Yuri found us moments later. He looked at us, looked at the ashes, looked again at us and smiled. His eyes found mine and I knew he knew I had defeated Nicholas. His smiled widened and he actually blinked his eye at me. He then left the bedroom, leaving Jason and myself alone.

"You did well." Were the first words I heard from Jason since he had entered the room. And then he kissed me. It was all and more that I had expected. We sealed our fates with that kiss. From then on we should no longer fear. He would love again and I would learn what it was to love.

 

~*~

 

I

t’s now so hard to believe that a hundred years have passed since my transformation, since the destruction of Nicholas de Thinan. I tell my story now as I will tell others, many others, one day. Because one learns and sees much in a century. I still have much to see. But I’m not alone. I haven’t been alone since that night. With this last words I seal my past life’s story. Maybe I’ll open a new chapter in my life and write about the today... maybe...

 

T

HE END