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Sarah-amy haley

"Death´s Folly" by Sarah-amy haley

SF&F Picture 3 out of 18 by Sarah-amy haley
 
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Even Death has his weaknesses. Well, the content might not be very cheerful, but I still think this one has a rather jolly feel.
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The silver hand of Death

Lurks round every bend,

Clawing at the darkness,

Bringing fourth an end,

Casting out the shadows,

Tearing at the light,

Dismissing all humanity

In honour of the fight,

He stalks the lonely alley,

He prowls the lively square,

He’ll bow and bare his judgement,

To all who choose to dare,

And in the reins of terror,

The fretful flood of fear,

Death falls fowl to mighty foe,

A humble infant tear.

←- Counselling Service For The Undead | Dryad and Naiad -→

DateNameComment 
6 Apr 2007:-) Désirée Dippenaar
*first comment iguana-slither* 10

I like this poem~ ^^ Great imagery with the "silver hand" and also the personification you used! You're a good poet! ^.^ I also like the alliteration and all those other devices~

Nitpickies:

"bringing fourth" -- should be 'bringing forth'

"falls fowl" -- should be 'falls foul'

12 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Hurrah for first comment Iguana-slithers!Ah nitpickings, gooood proof reader. I really am terrable with spellings especially in poems because they just, sort of, happen without me thinking. Thanks for commenting oh great and bountiful iguana and yes I do have a thing for personifiation, it will get worse, trust me! : )"
12 Apr 2007:-) Beth Alice O´Leary
I actually really like this poem. The last line is wonderful and fits beautifully, but the line before seems a little clumsy and too long compared to the others... Not a big deal, plus I'm not sure how to fix it, so..!

"fourth" should be "forth". [amused by the 'fowl' mistake] Fowl = birds! Teehee.. 2

Well done, lovely poem! ^_^

14 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Maybe Death became a big bird!? 12Thanks for commenting, I wasn't sure about the last line, but hurrah, you like it!"
2 May 2007:-) Dan Shevock
I'm glad I read this. It reads like a nursery rhyme, (which is perfect, as the content) and the rhythm is perfect. Death, the big bad lord of doom, and brought low by Mercy. I enjoyed this.

36 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. You've actually quite cheered me up today 2 Cheers! "
10 May 200745 Pippin Ren
A Wonderful Self Made Poem.
Imagery is always the key to a good poem as it lives up the moment and for you to understand things.
Don't worry about spelling, nothing has to be perfect. =p

1 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Thank you, I'm glad you like it. 2 - Imperfections make things perfect, unless you’re a perfectly pernickety perfectionist - Good day to you. And SMILE! "
14 May 2007:-) Trevor D. Worthey
Wow. Very succinct, in a way I could never feign to accomplsh. I love the imagery and personification--the portrayal of mythical Persons is something that fascinates me, and I love when people do it as well as you. Kudos!

I <3 DEATH! (^_^)

[^I know you read Terry Pratchet 2]

7 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Thank you - worried about the loving death thing, but still honoured. And Terry Pratchett is brilliant! "
19 May 2007:-) Kelsey M. Graham
*has random discworld moment* ..that does sound like him, doesn't it...
anyway, great poem. I usually hate poetry about Death, but I love this one. *gives sarah-amy a piece of cake*

1 Sarah-amy haley replies: "I love it when people give me cake, they should do it more often! Thankyou 2 "
30 May 2007:-) Angela Perry
Unlike most Elfwoodians I've met, I love poetry! And this one is quite good. I like the way you describe death, and I thought the last line was very insightful

The meter seemed a bit off in some parts, though you did a great job with the rhymes and syllables. Just a suggestion on writing meter: It helps me a lot to write out the poem, then put little symbols above each syllable to show upbeat or downbeat. That way I can mess with the rythm visually.

Other than that, I loved the imagery you used. Also, the internal rhyming of "clawing," "bringing," "casting," and "tearing" was lovely. Nice job!

2 Sarah-amy haley replies: "*Desperatly tries to remember what meter is* something to do with poems, I think... english teacher mentioned it... english GCSE in 6 days...Ahhh... I will look into that. Thanks for the good advise, I'll try it next time. And cheers also for the nice comments. ) "
6 Jun 2007:-) Randall Owen Salau
What a lovely poem. I was never good at poetry myself, and my English teacher at high school thought I was even worse. Now you've inspired me to prove my teacher wrong and try again *pins photo of teacher to dart board* I liked your choice of words and especially the last line, it was a wonderfully insightful view of the fate we can hide from but never escape.

22 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Insightful? Me? That's something I don't here often, thank you! "
11 Sep 2007:-) Love B. sandquist
Really nice imagery!
I have allways liked death, he is such a nice fellow 2 Oh yes, awefully good chap! ; )
can't find anything wrong
(that have'nt been nitpicked allready)
i also like the rythm of it, it got a nice ring to it

11 Sarah-amy haley replies: "Thank you, I wonder if Death likes being liked? ..."
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About 'Death's Folly':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Sarah-amy haley
 • Copyright: ©Sarah-amy haley. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Death, Tear, End, Fear
 • Categories: Vampires, Zombies, Undeads, Dark, Gothic, Demons, Imps, Devils, Beholders...
 • Views: 338


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