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Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine

"Sun Medallion" by Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine

SF&F Picture 5 out of 15 by Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine
 
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While hunting, Kiraen Baell was attacked by a crazy beast in the middle of the forest, who appeared to be after a shining medallion of what origin she could not guess. After examining the golden object, her mother sends her on a dangerous quest through the rugged mountains of Semira to deliver the Sun Medallion to her Grandmother. Little does she know, but this is the most dangerous journey she will ever have to make.
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Chapter 1: Kcazal

It was late afternoon, heading toward evening, and Kiraen knew she’d have to begin the long two-mile trek home soon or risk the growing probability of a cold night spent out on her own.  The Northern Valley Forest was not a friendly place after dark, or, for that matter, during the daytime either.  It had always been a forest shrouded in mystery and strange stories.  Not many would ever dare go near it for fear of meeting the strange creatures of legend that might’ve accidentally wandered over Mount Green, or Mrain-Ruha in the Ancient tongue, from the north and down into the tiny valley.  This was extremely rare, but it had happened before, though it had been twenty years since the last sighting.  Kiraen, even now, had only dared to venture into this forbidden forest, as the south, west, and eastern forests surrounding the small village of Farmer’s Pass had been reluctant to relinquish their game to her bow.  Even the dark, hidden depths of the Northern Valley Forest had produced very little luck for Kiraen. 

An owl hooted, far up in the tops of the trees.  Kiraen shuddered, and checked to make sure the two daggers she’d taken to wearing ever since the rumors of giant creatures in the north of the valley had begun circulating around Farmer’s Pass, were still securely attached to her waist belt, tucked safely away in their makeshift cloth sheaths.  The seven precious raven fletched arrows were still in the quiver attached to her back too, and her father’s oaken hunting bow was a heavy reassurance against her palm.  If anything attacked her out here it would not be much of a feat to lift the bow, draw back the string and shoot the animal before it could do her any serious harm.

Kiraen’s stomach growled; a gruesome reminder of the hunger she’d been facing for so long she couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten enough to fill her belly.  Game had grown scarce in Farmer’s Pass over the last few weeks, though no one knew why, and of the sixty-seven inhabitants of the small valley not one of them was left unscathed by their untimely disappearance.  Hunting was one of the two largest trades that kept the people of Farmer’s Pass alive for most of the year. Every man, woman and child was dependant on the abundance of game in the surrounding forest, or else the fertility of the season. 

Farming was the second trade that sustained Kiraen’s village.  Without a good crop many of the people would go hungry throughout the winter, and if the game was scarce too, as had happened on this unfortunate year, it was almost a definite death sentence for the people, and their only hope was for some great miracle to occur.  With winter drawing nearer every passing day it did not look very good for Farmer’s Pass.

Kiraen took a tentative glance toward the sky; it was barely discernable through the thick canopy of the forest above.  The sun had begun to sink below the horizon, casting a strange grayish half-light over the valley.  Before long it would be completely dark, leaving Kiraen to blindly feel her way home in the utter blackness of the forest, empty handed.  She had to begin heading back soon, but maybe a few more minutes of hunting would produce the kill she had been searching for for a good three hours.

Kiraen took a few more careful steps forward, placing her feet firmly on the soft patches of earth so as not to startle any game lurking about with the careless snap of a twig.  A rustle of shrubbery to her left drew her attention.  In one swift movement she had silently drawn an arrow from her quiver, and knocked it, riveting her eyes and body in the direction of the movement she’d detected.  This might just be the kill she’d waited all day to make!  As she stood at ready the rustling suddenly ceased, and the forest returned to its strange, unnerving tranquility.

Disappointed, Kiraen was about to lower her bow when, without any warning at all, a giant streak of brown catapulted out of the shrubbery at her right, and crashed into the girl’s oblivious figure.  Kiraen felt her bow mercilessly wrenched from her grasp by the sheer ferocity of the attack, the arrow released, and flying astray lost somewhere deep in the thick tangle of foliage.

Kiraen’s whole right side ached as she quickly scrambled to her feet, drawing one of her daggers as she moved.  Her heart thundered wildly in her chest as her gray eyes came to rest on her attacker.  She froze, stunned with fear and disbelief.

Her attacker was a giant rat; a giant rat covered with a thick layer of whitish-brown fur which now stood straight up along its back, puffing the creature up to almost twice its regular size.  Its large beady black eyes glared up at Kiraen’s immobile figure, sharp white teeth, fangs really, barred in a menacing snarl.  On all fours its oversized head was level with Kiraen’s chest, and its long, whip-like tail had to be at least as wide around as her fist.  Kiraen’s head reeled as she realized that this beast had to be one of the rumored giant creatures of the north, a Kcazal.

How can I escape this thing? Kiraen asked herself, fearfully weary.  Three hours of fatiguing hunting had utterly sapped her of her strength.  She knew she could not fight the rat and hope to win, especially not in close combat.  If only she could retrieve her bow!  Kiraen eyed the weapon laying only a few feet from where she stood…directly beneath the rat’s heavy frame.  There was no hope of recovering her bow.  Even if she did, it would be completely useless, as she was at too short a range with the beast to successfully loose an arrow.  The only thing she had left to rely on was her skills with the dagger.

A low guttural sound emitted from the Kcazal rat’s throat, its eyes flashing dangerously.  Kiraen shifted her grip on her dagger and took a small step backward.  The rat was large, ferocious, and perhaps too immense for her to fight alone.  However, if she did manage to slay the beast, there would be enough meat for Shillea Tyinen, her mother, and her for the entire winter.  Kiraen’s jaw set in a determined expression, her mind made up.  If the rat were to attack, she, Kiraen Baell, would fight valiantly to the death.  That way no one could say she had failed to defend her honor.

The Kcazal rat hissed, baring its sharp yellowish teeth, and…turned away.  It was ignoring her.  Out of every move it could have made this was the one she had least expected.  Kiraen stared, wide-eyed, at the matted lump of fur that was minding its own business, sniffling and scratching at the dirt, as if it hadn’t been attacking her only moments before.  A spray of damp soil began to fly up behind the beast, and land in a small pile, barely two feet from where she stood.  She blinked, confusion filling her mind.  The Kcazal rat appeared to be…digging?  She could barely comprehend this sudden change in its actions as she stared in dumb silence.  What was it doing?  The hole in front of it was clearly visible to Kiraen now, and it was rapidly widening and deepening as the rat’s seemingly erratic digging continued.  The way it sifted its paw through every miniscule bit of dirt led Kiraen to believe that it was searching for something.  In its own strange way, it almost seemed intelligent.

Kiraen’s curiosity suddenly began to diminish as she remembered her predicament.  She had to get out of here before the rat found whatever it was looking for and turned on her again.  She took another tentative step backwards, and then hesitated, a new thought crossing her mind.  It was far too tempting to ignore.

If she slew the beast there would surely be enough meat to last most of the winter.  But, she told herself rationally, the Kcazal was strong, and it knew how to defend itself against a poorly trained human such as herself.  It could possibly kill her if she wasn’t careful.  If she took it by surprise though…A hint of a smile began to flicker on her lips.

Kiraen tensed, brushing away her confusion at the rat’s fevered digging, knowing that she had to strike now or lose her only chance of slaying the beast.  Without one more thought to the matter, she raised her dagger and swiftly darted toward the Kcazal, wordlessly thrusting the weapon at its oversized head.

At the last possible moment the Kcazal’s eyes flicked up, noticing her.  Hissing, it attempted to pull itself out of her way.  Kiraen’s dagger plunged deep into the rat’s shoulder, lodging there, drawing the first blood.  The rat screamed in pain and rage, rearing back onto its hind legs.  Kiraen swore as her weapon was wrenched from her fingers for the second time that day.

She stumbled back, panting from fear and exertion.  Dark red blood oozed from the Kcazal’s shoulder wound, staining its light fur a sickening reddish-black.  Kiraen gulped, her mind racing desperately for ways to fend off the rat’s next attack.

The Kcazal snarled, averting its gaze from the dagger lodged firmly in its shoulder to Kiraen, eyes filled with murderous revenge.  She stumbled back as the rat advanced, a crazed expression haunting its black eyes, teeth gleaming in the rapidly depleting daylight.  It reminded Kiraen of a demon of myth in the darkness of the forest, with its shoulder wound pouring blood.

The rat sprang, so suddenly that Kiraen barely registered the movement let alone had time to react.  A futile attempt was made to throw her body out of the way, but she was too slow.  Terrible pain erupted in her leg as the rat’s claws tore into her exposed flesh.  She fell to the ground, writhing in agony while the Kcazal’s claws continued to rake down her leg.  A warm, sticky liquid was spilling out of the gash, and, through the vision clouding pain, she realized with sickening horror that it was her own blood.

She gritted her teeth, face contorted with pain, as the beast climbed over her body, none too gently, to stand directly over her face.  The Kcazal rat hissed in triumph, foul breath washing over her nose and mouth.  It was ready for the kill!

Something was biting painfully into Kiraen’s right arm as it was pinned to her side.  With a jolt she remembered the second dagger she carried on her waist belt.  If only she could reach it, she could kill the rat, or at least fend it off!  The rat left no room for that however and her mind raced wildly, fear and exertion completely deteriorating her common sense.

She screamed, and the rat recoiled slightly in surprise.  That was all she needed though, and her belt knife was out and in her hand.  With every last ounce of strength she could muster Kiraen thrust the dagger wildly toward to beast.  It screamed and writhed, its blood seeping from the newly created wound and onto her soiled clothing, skin and hair.  Kiraen struggled to cling to that dagger with all her might, willing the beat to give up its fight for life and embrace death so that she may live.  With one last scream of outrage and agony the beast was suddenly still.

Grunting in distate and shock Kiraen slowly pushed the large carcass off her body and into the waiting dirt.  The pain in her torn leg was intense, and when she gathered up the courage to glance down at it she immediately jerked her gaze away in horror.  The blood from bother her and the rat plastered most of her body, drying in crusty lumps all over her body and giving her current condition a much more terrible appearance.  Her leg was torn open from thigh to ankle and still bleeding profusely.  There was absolutely no way she could make it home in this condition.  Her leg twitched involuntarily shooting searing needles of pain through her body.  She shuddered and bit her tongue to keep from crying out.  Who know what could be lurking in the shadows of the Northern Forest after dark, especially if there were more beasts out there like the rat that had attacked her.  Kiraen slumped down into the dirt in defeat, tired, cold, hungry, and in terrible agony. 

It was then that she suddenly remembered the hole the beast had been ripping into the soft earth before she’d attacked it.  A cold stupor suddenly swept over the girl, and she knew she could not stay awake any longer.  She had lost too much blood.  With her last remaining ounce of strength she flung herself over toward the two foot hole the rat had been digging, and her hand closed around cold metal right before the world became a vortex, sucking, dragging and pulling her down into darkness.

←- Covenant Waters - Chapter 3 | Moon Dancer (Short Story) -→

DateNameComment 
19 Jun 2006:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Wow! Great story! I like the language you're using. This is really good, and really interesting. I hope you'll put up the next part soon!! Because I really want to know what will happen next... ^.^

There are some little mistakes in the last two paragraphs, like "the blood from bother her and the rat" is a bit confusing, and the word "body" is repeated twice in the sentence. But if you think of how good all the rest is, I'm sure five minutes after posting the comments I'll have forgotten these things and will only be thinking of how great the story was! ^.^ hehe... Notify me when the rest comes! I NEED to know what happens, even if it means interrupting my German homework to read! hahaha.. xP
21 Jun 2006:-) Leia Anne Getty
Are you fourteen? Your style is much better than mine was at your age *ahem* yeah--the style reads familiar, but I'm coming up blank. I'll critique now.

I'm guessing we're not in historical Fantasy world; a lot of the time peasants couldn't hunt on their lord's land, (poachers still existed) I wouldn't know much about actual bow-hunting but you could work in slight details--I'm guessing Kiraen is an outdoorsy/farm community girl, so no problem with her skill in the outdoors. But even small things, like the type of trees or the community name for the owl that hoots (like a Birch Owl; or make something up) also, you give us a great deal of telling but try to give us a little more showing--I'm assuming that her community is in need of food, and that she won't be hunting anything she won't be able to bring back herself--not to say she couldn't hunt or wouldn't be strong enough to hunt by herself, but if she's scarce for food (or her father is too weak and needs food) she might even consider shooting the poor owl.

Working in small details could work in other ways as well. She could have been caught in a small rainstorm earlier--just enough to make her damp, and in the night it could be cold enough to kill her if she doesn't make a fire--or something to that effect.

Anyway, you have a good sense of imagery and your narrative action came across well.

I'm still trying to guess whose style you're using...

:-) Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine replies: "Wow. I see what you mean by minor details. And yeah, I'm 14, and I'm still trying to work things out in this little plot line. My philosophy is to just write things down and follow wherever your pen leads you. No, its not a historical fantasy world, but more somthign of my own making. I hadn't thought much about who owns the land, but I guess the country is not owned by anyone but the King, but the land doesn't belong to him. His people may do what they like with it. Most people legally stake their own claims and just live on it. It doesn't work like the medeaval feudal system though. More of they work in their own little communities, with almost no ties to the outside world. And as for my style? I have no idea who I'm modeling off of. I just write my own way and this is what it turns out like.Thanks!~Saya~"
28 Jun 2006:-) Lindsay Verde
"Before long it would be completely dark, leaving Kiraen to blindly feel her way home in the utter blackness of the forest[] empty handed."
"She had to begin heading back soon[] but maybe a few more minutes of hunting would produce the kill she had been searching for [the past] three hours."
"A rustle of shrubbery to her left drew her attention. In one swift movement she had silently drawn an arrow from her quiver[] and knocked it, riveting her eyes and body in the direction of the movement she’d detected."

Hope this helps you a bit 1....and feel free to ignore it. A very enjoyable read, I'll definitely check back periodically and comment. I'd love to hear from you around my shelf in the woods.

:-) Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine replies: "Thanks. No, I don't mind critique at all. In fact I cherish every little bit I manage to recieve. >_< Yeah, anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I highly doubt I'm going to finish this one any time soon, sorry. I'm currently working on another story called "Soul" that actually takes place in Kiraen's neighboring country, Ecalaric. Maybe once I finish that one I'll give this one another shot. I'm glad you enjoyed my writing and hope you'll still be interested!~Saya~"
28 Jun 2006:-) Lindsay Verde
OOooooo! I liked this one! *Third comment dancing spat* Whew, thank goodness no banana's! Now I'm intruiged to find out exactly what this medallion is for, and why she is supposed to take it to her grandmother. Please do send me a little message (or a big one, whatever you fancy) on my page to let me know when you put up the next installment for this. I found a couple of things, hope you don't mind constructive comments: []=changes
"Kiraen, even now[] had only dared to venture into this forbidden forest[] [because] the south, west, and eastern forests surrounding the small village of Farmer’s Pass had been reluctant to relinquish their game to her bow."
"Game had grown scarce in Farmer’s Pass over the last few weeks[] though no one knew why[.] Of the sixty-seven inhabitants of the small valley[,] not one of them was left unscathed by their untimely disappearance."
"Farming was the second trade that sustained Kiraen’s village [and] without a good crop many of the people would go hungry throughout the winter[.] If the game was [also] scarce, as had happened on this unfortunate year, it was almost a definite death sentence for the people[.] Their only hope was for some great miracle to occur."
21 Jan 2008:-) Robin Ammerlaan
Nice vocabulary! I’m getting clear imagery in my head with your writing, which is very cool. Wonderful description, nice suprise in the rats actions. I’m sure I’ll be reading some more of your work later 1

:-) Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine replies: "^^; Thanks. I wrote this about three years ago, so I hate reading it now. It was one of my better works back then though. Glad you enjoyed it."
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About 'Sun Medallion':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine
 • Copyright: ©Rachel ´Saya´ Lamine. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Forest, Kcazal, Rat, Dagger, Blood, Medallion, Travel, Wolf
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc
 • Views: 207


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Covenant Waters - Chapter 1
Soul - Chapter 2
Soul - Chapter 3

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