"The Elfkin Ch.1: Melancholy" by Shannon Jones

Emmelyne had been hiking for hours, straining her body with the desperate hope that maybe if she wandered far enough, fast enough into the vast mountain range that she would escape her troubles. She felt as if life had almost become a burden. With each passing day came more misery, troubles and memories. The memories were the most difficult for her to endure. The memories, of her father, still vivid in her mind, vague glimmerings of her long dead mother, and the faces of her friends who now would never grow old or see the light of another day, haunted her.

She felt somehow responsible for them, and their lives. She knew she had not contributed to their deaths, having long known that death was a part of life, especially during wartime. Nevertheless, it still hung heavy on her that she lived, while they were robbed of that right so early on. There were so many dreams, adventures, sights, feelings, and day-to-day tasks they would never experience or fulfill. Their memories tore at her, begging and pleading for her to make sure those things they lost were fulfilled. That she carry out their hopes and dreams. They tore at her endlessly, making her feel guilty for living while they lie dead and buried, only distant memories.

When her body could take no more, she stopped to rest at the edge of a crystalline alpine lake. With out a thought she wiped her forehead, brushed back a couple strands of her sandy blond hair and pulled off her hiking boots. She tossed them behind her in a swift motion, as if they were the memories and troubles she so longed to put behind her.
Cool wind rustled in the trees behind her and rippled the surface of the mirror-like lake before her. She stared absently at her reflection, her icy blue eyes stared back at her for a few moments, and she shattered it by dipping her feet into the icy water. Soon the water settled once again and the reflection reappeared. It seemed to whisper to her and pull at her, like the memories that haunted her night and day. "Become one with me," it called in a silvery voice. The voice became many, and the images of her friends and loved ones appeared next to her own reflection. Her father's refined face, his gentle brown eyes, Tamera with her silver hair outlining her long, sharp, bronze face and then Valen, his golden eyes glowing against his pale skin. "Join us in the land of the dead. Join us, we would never harm you. We would never betray you. Join us and the burdens of life will never be yours to bear ever again." They murmured. The wind rose up around her, pulling at her hair and running icy fingers over her skin. Emmelyne closed her eyes and let herself be enveloped by the chant. So tempted she was, to let her own spirit free. To leave her crippled, restricting body behind and just be free.

"Emmelyne!" Screamed an all too mortal voice, shattering the wind nymphs' icy grasp upon her soul. She turned in startlement, her hair flying and the last fingers of the spell flying free. A huge dappled horse of warrior stock danced nervously, fighting his rider's attempt to hold him in one place. Alekz upon his dancing steed held a look of terror. His chocolate brown hair was falling loose from the band he normally pulled it back in, whipping about his face in the rising wind. "Emmelyne." he said again leaping from his mount. The nervous horse galloped back down the trail and stopped a safe distance from the lake to watch his master. Alekz ran to where Emmelyne was quickly rising to her feet. "What are you doing?!" He said, grasping her shoulders, the terror never leaving his face. She looked away from his questioning eyes. "Look at me, Emmelyne, -- you know this is the home of the wind nymphs. They almost had you."

"And I wanted to go." She said softly without looking at him.

"What are you saying?" he bellowed. She wrenched free from his grasp, a wild look coming into her eyes.
"I wanted to go." He stared at her with disbelief and the wind rose up behind her. "I wanted to escape this crippled body and all the pain that goes with it."

"Emmelyne, you can't..."

"I won't." She cut him off, picking up her shoes and walking back towards the path, her head bowed. Alekz trailed silently behind. The wind nymphs screamed and howled at the loss of the soul they thought they had. They whipped around the two Elves, pulling ferociously at Emmelyne's hair and clothes. She paid them no heed as she left the boundaries of their alpine lair. One lone nymph manifested it's self and swooped down in front of Emmelyne. Emmelyne found herself staring into the familiar face of her dead father. Only then did she falter in her retreat. But the eyes of her father were empty, just an apparition, and she was insulted by the Nymph's care less use of her fathers image and her own memories of him.

"Leave me." She growled. Alekz watched the whole exchange in dread. He knew he could not stop Emmelyne's soul from drifting once the Nymphs had cast their spell unless Emmelyne wished it.

"Next time you enter our realm," it whispered, "you will join us. You ... know .. you .. want ... to." It breathed in her ear and laid an icy kiss upon her cheek. "You'll be back." It sang as it fluttered away and evaporated once again into thin air. Emmelyne walked on, never looking up or wavering from the path.

Alekz caught up the reins of his big gray horse from where it grazed just outside the unseen boarder of the wind nymphs' land. He swung up into the worn saddle and road up alongside Emmelyne. She continued walking, her shoes hanging by the laces from the clenched fist of her good arm. "Em, it's a long way back. Why don't you ride with me?" She stopped and looked up at him. "Here, give me your hand so I can help you up." He said reaching down. She made no move to do either. She simply stared up at him, her pale blue eyes blank and lost. The wind had died down to a soft breeze. "Come on." He urged. She handed him her shoes, reached up with her good arm and let him pull her up. She wrapped her arm around his waist once seated behind him, and clenched her eyes closed. She did not move from that position the rest of the way back to her father's manor.

* * * *

Dim and dangerous torches were slowly replacing the magic lights of the manor as access to the Main Nodes became less and less available. Zoë wrinkled her nose at the smell of them burning in the kitchen where she had been pondering over pages of notes Master Nestor had given her to look over. The Master Healer's notes about the last few shires he had visited were filled with entries about malnourishment and lack of proper treatment for all the wounds inflicted on the people by the war. The war seemed to be eating away at everything, leaving little for those who caused it to live on. And even less for those who had nothing to do with it, she thought vehemently. Stiff from sitting so long, Zoë stood and put up the distressing page after page of Nestor's notes.

"I'm too young to have to deal with this kind of thing." She said to herself. "This damn war is eating up my youth!" Exclamations such as that were rarely heard from the slender and passive Zoë. Most who knew her would have been amazed that she even would use the word damn in her vocabulary. But there were not gasps of surprise or questioning glances, because she was alone. She could think back to only four years ago when the same kitchen was constantly filled with noise of people and children moving about at every time of the day. Now only Yama, Kasha's tabby cat accompanied her by the warmth of the oven. The big cat yawned lazily and blinked at her. Zoë sighed and sat back down with a thump.

She absently began to thumb through the notes, though she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on the words

again. She was unexpectedly pulled from the frying pan and into the fire as Alekz barged into the warm kitchen from the back door. A cold blast of air reached her as he stomped his feet in the doorway.

"Close the door, you brute!" She exclaimed, "You're letting in cold air." He closed the door behind him and pulled off his jacket. His eyes were distant and his thoughts clearly else where. Normally he would have answered her complaint with a good-natured remark. She watched him curiously when he made no such remark.

"Have you gone to talk to Emmelyne yet?" He asked finally.

"Oh. Not yet. Nestor got here a couple hours ago with some notes for me to study. She was going to look in on Emmelyne herself, but was exhausted from all the work and traveling she's been doing lately." He poured him self some tea, and sat down at the table. She could sense distress in his aura, but it would take more fine-tuning in her healing abilities to be able to pinpoint what it was.

"Could you talk to her soon? Maybe she'll listen to you. Use some of that healing magic of yours to help convince her to snap out of it." He rubbed his temples tiredly. Zoë reached forward instinctively, her hand aglow with green healing light, to relieve his stress. He waved her hand away. "Save your magic for those who need it more."
She knew he was implying Emmelyne. They were all worried about Emmelyne's strange and distant mentality since she'd arrived home to heal from her nearly fatal wounds. Every one had assumed that she would return to her normal self as soon as she was able to leave her bed, despite the fact her arm had been paralyzed. But the healing process was riddled with complications and it was well over a month before she was able to leave her room by her own free will. Her friends watched her morale fall steadily down hill afterwards.

Zoë squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Go get some sleep, even if things aren't better in the morning, at least you can escape from them for a while in your dreams. I'll go talk to Em."

"She can't go on much longer like this, you know." He confessed, staring into the mug of tea as if it held the world. "I've tried everything I can think of. I just can't reach her. Not only am I losing a friend, I'm failing her father as well. He told me to take care of her for him when he died. I watched him die in my arms, I can't watch her die slowly before me as well."

"I know how you feel." She said, standing. "I'll talk to her. I'll do all I can to make things right." Zoë promised and quickly left the warm glow of the kitchen. She sighed once she reached the hall. As a healer, the pain and stress of others had an impact on her as well. It was what made her a healer, her sensitivity of other's pain.
The young healer lit a mage light in her hand with her own magic as she walked quietly through the deserted halls. She ran her fingers along cool surface of the wall as she walked until she reached the door to her friend's room. Zoë knocked gently on the old wooden door and waited for an answer. There was no answer, so she slowly turned the knob and opened it. Emmelyne sat silently staring out the window, a book resting in her lap, though she had long abandoned her attempts to read. Zoë walked softly to where her friend sat and put her hand on Emmelyne's shoulder. "Emmelyne?" Zoë shifted her weight nervously when her friend hardly acknowledged her presence. "Emmelyne," she tried again, "everyone's worried. Alekz won't say what happened in the mountains, but we all get the feeling it wasn't good. You've been so distant since..." She paused looking for the best words.
"Since Alekz disappeared, the rebellion started, half my friends and my father died and I lost the use of my arm and was nearly killed." Emmelyne hardly more than whispered. "Since then?"

"But things are better now." Zoë pleaded.

"Just because I'm no longer at death's gate and Alekz has returned, doesn't mean everything's back to normal. Nothing will ever be the same. My father will not rise from the dead, nor will the rest of the faithful friends I lost protecting all we knew and loved." She brought her knees up to her chin. Zoë painfully observed as s Emmelyne had to take the extra effort of picking up her unresponsive arm to do the simple task of wrapping her arms around her legs. "The rebellion still rages on and I can no longer fight, not even for revenge. I am crippled. Even the simplest tasks begin to look impossible." She sighed and rested her chin on her knees. "But that is nothing compared to all the other things that will never be as they were. All the lives lost, all the memories, haunting me... " She trail off, her eyes never leaving the trees as the wind howled through them..

"You must move forward, my friend." Zoë tried to sound confident. "The past is out of our hands now. I know it is filled with pain and there are things you miss, but stop torturing yourself. Stop reliving your pain." Zoë picked up a brush and began to brush Emmelyne's mop of hair. She could remember when they were children and would sit for hours braiding each other's hair. Emmelyne had always been blessed with long locks of blond hair with gorgeous red highlights. Zoë could still remember the horror on her friend's face after she had to crop it all off to join the army. But it didn't matter, as long as she could follow Alekz into the army. Zoë had wanted to go as well, so afraid of being left all alone, but she was needed elsewhere. She pushed back her thoughts dutifully and brought herself back to the present. "The only sure thing is change." She continued. "We can't fight it, only live with it." Her tone changed and softened. "I lost many loved ones as well. I have to admit I miss the old times when everyday was filled with sun and we were but children playing with out a care. You and I, Tamera, Valen, Kasha and Sabin, and then there was Alekz watching us all from a distance. We wanted to grow up so fast, and you wanted to follow Alekz everywhere. The world was so new and full of adventures waiting to be lived out." Emmelyne was slowly giving in and relaxing under the healing ways of her childhood friend.

"Umhumm." Emmelyne murmured and closed her eyes.

"Oh to be a child again, to play out your dreams in a make believe world. It's a lot safer than the real one. But we are here as adults for a reason, Emmelyne. This rebellion is happening for a reason. We each choose our own reasons. My reason to go on to do all I can is for the children. So they can enjoy the wonders of childhood as I did."

"If any of the children are still alive." Emmelyne said, returning once again to her melancholy mood and shaking off the comforting spell of her friend's natural healing ability.

"They are. You know they are. What about Kasha? What about the innocence still alive in her eyes? Do you want to see her exposed to this world of darkness we are fighting against? We must keep fighting for them." Emmelyne pulled away even more. "Just think about what I said." Zoë sat down the brush and headed to the door, knowing she had at least been able reach the Emmelyne she once knew. "I'll come to see you in the morning. Until then get some rest. I know I say it a lot, but rest heals most every wound." Emmelyne looked back out the window and acted as if Zoë had never come. Zoë sighed and closed the door behind her. She walked down the empty hall, her shuffling steps echoing in the darkness. Sometimes, despite her love of life and strict morals, she wondered if Emmelyne had the right idea. To just give up and not care anymore.

* * * *

"Zoë- wait!" Sabin bellowed in his thunderous voice. Then trotted up behind Zoë in order to catch up with her quick paced walk. "Where ya going?"

"To talk to Emmelyne, again. Nestor wants me to talk to her before she comes up." She said with out turning.

"Oh." He paused. "Umm... how's she doing?" He asked, nervous about the whole subject. Zoë was hesitant to answer, and Sabin nervously filled the silence. "Zoë, why Emmelyne? She's the last one I thought would break."

"I know. I thought so too." She slowed her pace. "After dealing with all this war can dish out, and then coming home to find even Emmelyne collapsing under the weight of it makes me wonder if it would just be easier to give up as well." Zoë uttered a small squeal of surprise as Sabin grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him. His eyes were stern and determined.

"Don't you ever think that." He nearly growled. Zoë could feel herself beginning to panic under the steel grip of the massive man. Seeing the fear in her face, Sabin released her and simple clenched his fists as his sides, all too aware of his own strength. "If you begin to wonder about such things you are already giving in." He said, forcing himself to speak at a normal tone. "When things get tough you will be easier to break." Zoë smiled at his intense expression. She flung her arms around his neck.

"You never cease to amaze me. Thank you, Sabin." She said hugging him and then stepping back. He stared back at her, dumbfounded by her reaction to his beastly action. "Tell me that next time I'm being an idiot. Every one's been moping around, I needed to see a light at the end of the tunnel."

"Isn't that what friends are for? To pick each other up when we fall? Remember, you taught me that strength is more than muscle. So I spend more time strengthening my heart." He replied, delighted by the compliment.

"Come on, Sabin. Maybe you can help pep talk Emmy as well." She said heading back down the hall.

"Are you sure? What if I say something wrong?" Once again the massive man who had seen more war than any of them was nervous and unsure. He was as kind and honest as few men ever were under all his muscle. "Emmelyne scares me the way she is now."

"That's why you are going to help me get her back to normal, now come on!"

"Okay." He replied submissively.

Zoë and Sabin reached the door to Emmelyne's room, and knocked. Sabin nervously shifted his weight when there was no answer. He looked over at Zoë, who urged him on, and opened the door. "Emmelyne." He shuffled slowly in. She was laying on her stomach on her padded windowsill, watching the sun climb in the east. "Hi. Ummm, it's been a while since we talked. I kinda miss you." She sat up and turned.

"Hi." She almost smiled. Zoë watched silently from the doorway.

"Em, I've been afraid to talk to you since you got back. I knew you weren't doing to well, and probably didn't want me around saying stupid things. Zoë, umm, asked me to come and talk to you. She thinks maybe I can help. Though I don't know how."

"I miss you too. As well as Valen, Tamera and my father. Don't make yourself a ghost, like them, haunting my soul."

"But you've been so distant, like you don't want any one to talk to you. Alekz, Kasha and Zoë are really worried. They do their best, you know." She looked down at her hands in her lap, one motionless the other clenched in the pain that followed her night and day. "You want to talk?" He asked mildly.

"Since you asked, I guess I have no choice. Come sit down." She motioned to the space next to her. He walked over to her and sat down. He fidgeted nervously in until she spoke. "I don't want to be like this, Sabin."
"Then don't. Just go back to being the Emmelyne I've known since I was five." He put in earnestly.
"I want to. But it's not that easy!"

"Why not?"

"Oh Sabin, its like some kind of disease. The despair and pain is like some kind of illness I can't recover from. It's driving my crazy. I see their faces in my dreams at night, and even when I'm awake."

"Who's?"

"Everyone who's died, I live their sorrow as well as my own."

"I've seen the healers work, maybe it's some kind of chemical imbalance. My mom had some troubles with that. I know, lets have some tests done, maybe you are just sick." Emmelyne had no time to respond. "Zoë, come over here and do a double check over Emmy with your healing magic stuff."

"But I..."

"We can't make it worse, just check. Maybe the high and lofty experts missed something when they healed Emmy." She walked into the room, both girls knowing that if they didn't give in, they'd never hear the end of Sabin's persuasion.

"Okay, Emmelyne, I can only do this if you want to be healed. You know that." Zoë told her friend gravely. Emmelyne nodded.

"It's either lose this cloud hanging over me or jump off a cliff." Sabin backed away from the two women to watch from the doorway. Having little magic potential, it made him feel incompetent and in the way whenever he witnessed acts of magic.

"Then just relax. I'll check your mind, and then the two healed injuries." Zoë stood before Emmelyne who sat tense and upright. Zoë's hand began to glow a healing green as she circled it in front of Emmelyne's face. She closed her eyes and let her mind feel around for any physical flaws that her magic was tuned to find. She worked her way down to the scar on Emmelyne's arm where the paralyzing blow had been struck. She gasped in horror when she realized the problem. There was a piece of dark magic embedded in Emmelyne's arm. The Dark lords they had been fighting for four long years were know to use such evils. Most often blades were forged with the poison and designed to leave fragments of the blade in the victim. If a piece of the blade should be embedded in a hapless victim, the dark magic would work its evil, bringing out the victims worst fears and pains until they lost the will to live. She opened her eyes and stepped back from her friend. "We have to find someone with more expertise to deal with this. You have a piece of some kind of dark magic embedded in you arm. I can't believe they missed it. It's routine procedure in the healing process." Zoë turned wide-eyed to look at Sabin. "You're amazing, Sabin. I would have never thought to question the ability of the Master Healers, since I'm only an apprentice." He smiled from the door way and then turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Emmelyne asked.

"To go get the Nestor, she's a Master Healer, she can take care of this. I don't want you to stay like this any longer than you have to. And I want the old Emmelyne back." Emmelyne sighed and leaned back as he hurried down the hall. Zoë sat down with a thump, stunned and slightly light headed from dealing with such evil. Emmelyne turned to her old friend.

"I want to be happy, but I can't seem to find any point." Zoë smiled gently.

"It's the dark magic. I'm surprised you even survived this long. Most would have lost the will to live during the usual healing period. But that may explain all the complications you had. In fact, if they had found that during the original healing, you probably wouldn't have lost the use of your arm. It was unexplainable why you took so long to recover, until now of course." Emmelyne took a deep breath, cursing in her mind the ill planned move that had left her guard down long enough to receive the axe blow that almost killed her.

"Are any other of the effects of this dark magic permanent?"

"Only the more advanced Healer and time can tell. I really don't know." They sat in silence for a while, leaving each other to their thoughts until they heard Sabin's thunderous steps in the hall. He ran into the room in his lumbering way and then bounced before them like a child.

"Emmy, lets go, the Nestor wasn't busy, and she said to come right now to her room." When she moved too slowly for him, he scooped her up in his massive arms and trotted off down the hall. Zoë chucked and trailed behind.

* * * *

Emmelyne awoke after her healing to find the anxious faces of three of her friends hovering above her. She smiled instantly at them, feeling honored that they would all be so concerned for her. "Will I live?" She asked.

"You'll be fine now. But it's a miracle." Zoë answered.

"Here, help me sit up, I'm still a bit drowsy, but I want to be able to talk to you all.." Zoë and Sabin helped her into a sitting position, Sabin doing his best not to get too excited. Kasha, Emmelyne's younger cousin, stood at the foot of the bed. "I feel so much better now." She beamed. "It's like coming out of a long tunnel. I think I need a hug from every one." Sabin took up the offer instantly his massive arms enveloping the relatively small woman. "Umm, Sabin, I can't breath." She said after a few moments. Kasha giggled hysterically.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so glad you're back." Sabin apologized, humbly.

"Believe me, me too." Emmelyne reassured him with a smile and returned the hug. Kasha and Zoë each exchanged hugs with Emmelyne as well. "So, when do I get to get out of bed?"

"As soon as you like." Kasha answered. "After all, you've been there three days."

"What?" Kasha giggled again, at Emmelyne's stunned expression.

"Yeah, you were really drained, and the Healer put a sleeping spell on you to make sure you recovered this time."

"No wonder I feel so good." By the next day Emmelyne was back on her feet and relatively back to normal. She still had a darker mood about her, but was far closer to being cheerful again. She had been plagued for two months with the dark magic caused by piece of tainted metal left in her arm, even after the Master Healers had helped her to recover. They had been so swamped with patients after the raid, that they had missed the piece of metal. That little mistake that had almost proven fatal for Emmelyne.