| 30 Sep 2002 | Lindsey Butler | *pulls glasses from her pocket and slips them on her face* Transition *she frowns* is how you go from one paragraph to another and one subject to another.
EX: Jane walked home from school. She went home and did her homework begrugingly. She went to bed. This isn't really bad, but it doesn't work as effectively as using transition words.
Better EX: Jane walked home from school and hastened to her room. She began her homework begrugingly and upon finishing went to bed.
I am not an English teacher so these may not be good examples. Just remeber that every paragraph should flow. Using transistion words are a great way to help them along. Words like Then, After, Before, Later, ex are great transition words.
(ps- you can delete this I just thought I'd tell you what I meant.)
Also don't feel bad about the age difference, it isn't a big deal. You're right on target for a writer your age so keep it up! | |
| 2 Oct 2002 | Jason J. Romein | Two words: Tyak's up  Omri Gottlib replies: "Its about time you put it up. I must have been waiting forever for the damned thing. Well of course I am going to read it!" | |
| 24 Oct 2002 | Bethany J. Holthof | Hi again!!!!! I have updated my page, if you're interested.. thanks for commentating on my stories!!!  Omri Gottlib replies: "no prob." | |
| 22 Nov 2002 | Joshua ´Zaxoth´ Williams | Hmm, I'm guessing you got to my page through 1) Jason Romein's page or 2) Lindsey Butler's page. Well, I'll see about reading the stories, but I'll likely only read one today. | |
| 5 Dec 2002 | Omri Gottlib | Radiant Knights: Well I changed the whole world around. Now paladins and knights r not all powerful. They dont walk into a room full of undead and hack away. The come into the room with two mages backing him up and the blow the hell out of everything. The setting it in the present time. The faction known as the Radiant Knights are there to make sure that the city of demons, Twin city, it a little less infested. But (as always) something is happenin elsewhere. What could it be? Is it some all powerful demon? or is it worse!? Twin City was never safe. Now its going to be hell. CHARACTERS: Im going to introduce new characters plus im going to have my main character from Shapeshifter in it. All I can say is this "Do YOU like action?" because this is going to be packed full of it. and of course there will be more than that. It will have love betrayl and comedy. And alot and i mean alot of plot twists. And this time im always leaving it on a cliffhanger. | |
| 9 Dec 2002 | Joshua ´Zaxoth´ Williams | *acting like a little kid* I gots updates!! *runs off* | |
| 13 Dec 2002 | Kage E. Murphy | Hey! I thought I would come here and let you be the first to know I updated!!! I just read your story about the half orc half dark, which I think I read before too, but its an amazing idea. Your stories are coming along nicely, I really enjoyed them (I read them all, so you get the all encompassing general comment!). Well, I hope you...and everyone else, comes and reads the end of Eben's Crew! | |
| 5 Jan 2003 | Chris sedillo | Im glad your during good on your stories, ive been reading a few and you are getting quite the fantasy world. Well best of luck on your world. | |
| 29 Aug 2003 | Andrew91 | I like your stories. You it to roleplaying? | |
| 27 Dec 2003 | Omri Gottlib | Hey ppl, I havent updated in so long, but I am wondering if you know who in the world this email belongs to , ive tried to send a msg to the person but it returns, lemme kno wassup wit this . This was sent DECEMBER 18th 2003, dymodnprncss05@aol.com, thats the email, lemme kno what u ppl can do , thanks. On another note, if i get into the mood I will be refurnishing everything here, not to mention I have so many new things to put up , ill be needin my own Cue line to get everything up anytime soon, so if u pass by here be lookin foward.... | |