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Omri Gottlib

"Lokien:NeverEnding Wars" by Omri Gottlib

SciFi/Fantasy text 4 out of 5 by Omri Gottlib.      ←Previous - Next→
 
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This story is about an elf by the name of Lokien.He gets involved in a quest to stop the evil of Evitz Blood. At first they go their seperate ways but fate brings them back together
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Lokien

NEVERENDING WARS

On the path to Great City the sky began to darken. Oceans too began to tremble. “Hold the ship together. We must reach Great City in time to inform them of urgent news,” screamed Eseelez over the booming thunder and smashing rain. “ Me lord, I think we have a problem! You see we have a leak on the left side of the ship, me lord!” “ Well then,” replied Eseelez, “ Go take care of it.” “ Yes me lord.”

Later, Eseelez, lord of Kalimen, landed at great city docks. When he had stepped off of the crumbling ship which barely survived the journey to this foreign land. It was windy and a challenge it would be to get past the winding passages of the Abyssal Mountains with the winds, but it was not an option. Thus began his journey towards the great city’s Stronghold of Great. As they winded down the passage to Great City they met up with a mountain giant by the name of Acadomindadan, the ruthless murderer of many passing, raiding their caravans.

“Give me your valuables and you live,” grunted the giant. Then answering “no,” as they stared him down and unsheathed their weapons.

“Those weapons will do me fine.”

“Well then,” shouted Eseelez “ come and get it.”

As the foolish giant did not know was these were no ordinary people but trained warriors. As the creature swung his club he hit one of the brute warriors. As the warriors’ bones crushed his body went flying into the side of the mountain and his intestines hanging on the giants club. When Eseelez saw the giant laughing his anger flared and the giant began to laugh at Eseelez rage. Then Eseelez dashed at the giant. Before the mighty giant could swing his club again, a scimitar had cut his arm off. Then as the giant screamed with agony and pain another sword had plunged right through his stomach and then twisted upward into his heart. Then the large giant, once a ruthless killer, was now dead.

When he had arrived the people respectfully greeted him, as he rushed towards the castle in his bloody silver armor. At the castle Eseelez met up with lord Sozorien, of Great City, and began their urgent meeting. As the man, Sozorien, entered the room he was dressed with a glistening armor and a beautiful black cape. He had brown eyes and dirty blond hair. As Sozorien paced towards Eseelez, he got up and began the urgent meeting.

“ Sozorien, I must inform you that”-

“ Good lord Eseelez what happed to you. You look like you just killed a giant.”

“ Its not the time Sozorien, Froma, goddess of evil has gotten a new general by the name of, Evitz Blood. It is said that he had bathed in the blood of a thousand virgins in order to attain the power of a red dragon.”

“Yes, it could be true. Hmm, very interesting so this is all that you have so urgently come to inform me of?”

“Actually no, I also got news that the forces of evil are uniting under his strong. I don’t think that we can stand against his forces. That is why we must stop him now! I shall go and get a team of men to take out this Evitz character.”

“ Ok, if it is so that you are concerned like this then I shall help. Go around the city…. I’m sure you shall find some willing to join your cause. If none can be found just go down the main street until you get up to, ‘Jean’s Exotic Women.’ Around that area you shall find a person by the name of Aragra the conqueror. He used to serve under me as the general, but well he didn’t keep my forces attuned to their best. That’s why I got rid of him. Personally he is a mighty warrior. Foolish at times but a great ally. Well it has been good seeing you my friend, so until next time, good-bye.”

“ Thank-you and good-bye old friend. I thank you for this assistance. I hope too see you some time later in the future.”

“ Thank-you for the warning my friend, But I think that I shall be safe in my haven for that I have enough troops to conquer the whole world without your assistance.”

“O’ well remember to never underestimate your opponent for that there, friend, shall be your down fall.”

Later on Eseelez walked through the crowded streets. It seemed it would never end. As Eseelez passed through the streets he noticed that it was a very lively city with children playing and laughing. The city was so large that Eseelez thought he had been lost. Then swerving around the sharp corner Eseelez noticed a small, but crowded pub in front of him. Wiping the rest of the blood of his magnificently crafted silver armor. He then proceeding to enter the pub in a slow pace he observed all the surroundings around him. When he had finally entered a bunch of bearded men and drunken men all stopped and watched as he strolled into the place. Armor glistening and his men protecting, he walked into the bar,

“ Who shall join thy cause in defeating Fromas' new commander, Evitz Blood. All who wish to help may meet thyself here in twenty-five minutes. There will be no exceptions for lateness. I am not trying to raise an army. O’ and you must be able to defeat my guards you see here.” Then he left and the pub once again broke out into conversation.

After a while Eseelez was frustrated with waiting and he then slowly began to pace away. Then as he was walking he heard a man yell,

“ Wait I wish to join!”

Proceeding to turn he saw a short, cheerful looking person that looked like he could eat a full size dragon in the blink of an eye. He had black hair as dark as night and dark brown eyes. Behind him was another person walking towards him. This person looked like a quiet person that was the strong but silent type. The lady too had black hair much darker than the other, but unlike him she had beautiful green eyes.

“So you wish to join?”

“Yes, I wish to-

“ And me too. We both wish to join.”

“So then,” replied Eseelez, “What are your names?”

“ My name is Chanorph Antagealez and the lady behind me, well her name is Dreia Antag-” “Well, well, Dreia Antagealez, the worlds greatest blacksmith. I thank-you for my swords. So…Dreia do you live here?”

“ Yes, in fact I do. I live in my shop were I make and sell my weapons.”

Before the fight had barely begun they had already had beaten the two guards. Daringly Chanorph flew through the air and slammed the two guards down. Then Dreia unsheathed her two finely crafted adamantine scimitars and put them to both the guards’ necks.

“ Well alright, lets proceed onwards to find more willing to join.”

Later they continued down to lower Main Street until they had reached a facility with the sign ‘Jeans exotic women. When they entered the building they heard women giggling and a man responding in a moan.

“Hey, what’s your problem freak! Get off of me!”

When Chanorph had looked up he saw a large character which was very muscular and beared a fine golden armor and two very large mythril shoulder guards. The most noticeable thing about this man was his silver hair and his remarkable stare, which seemed that it could take down the whole Great City army with one glance.

“Sorr-sorry I sorta slipped over there,” Chanorph mumbled.

“ Chanorph are you ok,” asked Eseelez.

“He is fine. This stuff always happens to him.”

“ I am really sorry about my friend here,” Eseelez replied to the enraged man. “May I ask you what is your name?”

“ Ah, my name is Aragra De Viagra, former commander of the Great City army,” he responded. “So, what is your name?”

“The names Eseelez, lord of Kalimen, one of the worlds best swordsmen.”

“So what’s the deal with you being in a place like this, hmm?”

“I have a proposition for you. Um, you see I am looking for a group of fine warriors that will assist me in destroying the dark lord, Evitz.”

“ Well, Eseelez, I get anything out of this?”

“ Yes in fact you do.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I don’t wanta tell ye but, I swear to you that you shall gain fame and wealth.”

“Alright, I will join. The mentono inn shall we rest there?”

“Alright, we shall rest at the inn next door for tonight. Anyway I’m tired out from the trip I took to get here.”

That night was quiet. It seemed that knowbody was outside that night. Then a loud noise began to stir up in the brink of night. Eseelez then woke up and heard a loud explosion.

“ Everyone wake up, evacuate the city immediately. We are being attacked by the Dark Noth,” screamed a man as Eseelez got up.

“ Guys move it we must help evacuate the people. Um, Dreia, Aragra, and Chanorph you go help the evacuation of the people. I must go get the king.”

“ Alright Eseelez you better stay safe,” everyone replied.

With that the groups departed. As Eseelez left the building he paced towards the castle. When he had finally reached the castle doors he saw a small group of Dark Noth attempting to break the door in.

“ Well, hello everyone lets get this over with,” he shouted as he unsheathed his finely crafted scimitar.

Its hilt was crafted of white adamantine and a large ruby paced at the bottom. The blade was made of silver and tipped with Adamantine. Then the Dark Noth’s turned and started pacing towards Eseelez. Before the Dark Noth could attack Eseelez had sliced them up.

“ Blood all over the place… Damn Sezorien’s going to kill me!”

Continuing towards the doors Eseelez quickly slammed them down.

“I cence that Evitz is coming with many troops towards this castle! Sozorien, quickly where are you. You must hurry and leave with me at once.”

“Coming Eseelez I must get the Destiny sword!”

“Hmm, maybe that is what he is after,” Eseelez thought to himself.

“ Alright, got it. I’m jumping down the stairs. Sting move out of the way,” he screamed. As he came down they immediately began running out of the castle to join the others. As they ran they could hear a person calling.

“ Me lord, I am coming with you, It is my duty to protect thy king.”

“Alright then lets go Sting Rumdrago. We must hurry.”

As they continued about their way a six-foot man with odd ears and a dark cloak came by, he grabbed the Destiny and ran.

“Quickly after him,” shouted Sezorien. “ Lets go before we loose him.”

When they had finally caught up to the cloaked man that had stolen the Destiny sword, they saw him run towards a beautiful women. The women had amazing seductive green eyes and mesmerizing black hair as dark as the brink of night. One thing that was most noticeable about her is her astonishingly beautiful red lips.

“Get away from her now you evil fiend,” the man shouted at the Dark Noth’s.

“We must stop him. If he uses the swords the power shall kill us all. He will not be able to handle such power,” Sezorien shouted at Eseelez.

“Stop… you will be killed,” shouted Sezorien as he ran to stop the dark cloaked man. Indeed the man did not heed Sezorien’s warning.

“ Die you fool,” shouted the dark, unknown, cloaked man.

Within that moment the cloaked man charged down onto the Dark Noth. Then at that single moment the sky began to thunder and lightning began to shower down before their very eyes striking some buildings within the city and sending them tumbling into the Abyssal Mountains cornered at the city entrance. As the lightning continued to rain down a bolt of lightning struck the edge of the sword and then the intricate runes began to glow as bright as the sun. The swords blade was made of mythril and silver. The hilt was made ruby and mythril with the intricate designs of black adamantine. Then the last thing that they had seen was the blazing sword piercing through the steel chain armor and the sword slashing their barred chests within a single swipe.

“ Amazing! How did he do that? Knowbody in the royal family could ever do that except my great grand father, Sezorien mumbled.

“ Sorry about taking your sword. I will do anything to repay you.”

“Really? I need to ask you one thing?” “And what is that one thing that you so want to ask me of?”

“You see my great grand father left a secret alter at the top floor of the Great City castle. Well, I want you to go up there and revive a holy creature so that my- our city shall stay safe and sucure under the supervision of my great grand fathers summon. Then I shall return when it is safe to return to my city. That is when I shall begin to resurrect the city . Do you get the point?”

“Yes, I shall do it. Anyway the names Lokien Mentorine and I used to work at the inn across this block.”

“ Sting, go and find the rest of Eseelez men and get them to meet us at the castle in around fifteen minutes.”

“Yes me lord!”

As Sting went to find Eseelez’s band of men he met up with some Great Dark Noths. These Noths were different from the rest of the other Noths. These Noths were trained assassins, much larger then their normal. One thing that made these Noths greater was fighting skills and their greater strength. As sting unsheathed his tipped mythril sword, the two fang shaped diamonds could be seen glimmering at the hilt of his mighty enchanted sword which he had named Stinging Draco. As Sting rushed at his enemy the Noths Swung at Sting, but Stings amazing agility and persizion saved him as the sword flew into the plate armor and pierced through. Then the Noth looked down to see that the sword had actually pierced thru his armor. Then as the Noth raised his head to look at his killer he dropped to his knees and died. Sting then pulled hard to recovered his sword and noticed that the other Noth was gone. When he turned around he saw Eseelez’s men killing the second as it fled towards them.

******

After some time they neared the castle.

“ Alright Lokien, are you ready to do what we talked about?”

“ Yes, I remember. Is there anything else?”

“O’ yes there is something else. You see there is this thing that you must say. Um’ here take this. Its what you have to say.”

As Sezorien handed the dusty parchment they entered the castle. It was filled with dead soldiers and the smell of blood.

“ My god Sezorien. Your soldiers are creaming the Dark Noths,” Eseelez shouted sarcastically out of the silence between them.

Then they began to climb their way to the top floor. On the way to the top floor they came up to a large group of Dark Noth. The group then easily dispatched them with a few skilled swings of their enchanted swords. Then they had continued their voyage to the top. When they finally had reached their destination they saw a large empty room.

“Over here everyone there is a secret door,” shouted Sezorien.

“O’ well lets go and get it over with,” replied Lokien.

When the large hidden doors opened they revealed a large room plated in a god so pure and bright that it was blinding. In the center of the room t here were a bunch of steps leading up to an altar. In front of the altar was a large round glass window with a color like a white crystal.

“Wow, its amazing how beautiful this is!”

“Yes Lokien, well we must continue. Go on up to the alter and do your thing. Do not forget to place the sword into the hole near the window.”

“No problem Sezorien.”

As he climbed up to the altar a Noth came and none had noticed him. Then when Chanorph saw it at the corner of his eye he threw his enchanted hammer at the Noth smashing all of its bones. “Just a Noth don’t worry,” he told his comrades. Lokien opened the parchment and began to read…

 

“ Eternal god, with your abundant compassion

Be compassionate to me now. O master of the

Nations power, our rocklike stronghold. O

Shield of our salvation, be a stronghold for

Us. The blessed god, who is great in knowledge,

prepared and worked on the radiant rays of

the heavenly sword; the beneficent one,

fashioned, honored for his name, emplaced

luminaries all around his power; the leader

of his legion, holy ones, exalt the almighty,

constantly relate the honor of Jeggian and

his sanctity. May you be blessed, Jeggian, my

god, may you now give the power of your

greatness, so that your greatness rule this world.

O’ Jeggian, my god, may your power given to me

now be given to thy summon Greatee the great APEAR!”

 

That moment the room began to shake. The large round window, which was in front of the alter, had begun to move upward and the castle had begun to morph into something else. The room began to pulsate a bright white light and it began to get brighter. Then the room became a balcony.

“ Lokien, lets get out of here. Lokien snap out of it!”

“Yes, sorry Sezorien I was just a little shocked I mean”-

“Um I think we should get out of here now,” Dreia said as she was getting ready to flee to safety.

“Yes let us depart. There is no more that we can do for this city. We must leave it in the hands of Greatee my great grand fathers summon.”

As the band scampered away they remembered the sword. Lokien ran back to retrieve it and he jumped off the balcony to catch up with the party. As the group left the building Eseelez looked up and saw Lokien plummeting down to the ground.

“ Everyone move! Watch out,” shouted Eseelez. As Lokien neared the ground he landed lightly saying,

“sorry, I um forgot to take the sword.”

As everyone stared in astonishment he knew why and he answered,

“Yea, I know, I kind of naturally learned how to do that.”

With that the group departed, but it only was the start of their great adventure.

CHAPTER 1

The Abyssal Mountains

As the group trotted through the valley they began to get tired. With but a few hours of walking they all sat on the hard rugged ground and took a well-deserved rest. Everything was quiet and it seemed nothing could break the silence. Then a few small rocks tumbled down the mountains. Everyone jumped up and they saw nothingness. There was no danger in sight. Then out of no where at least fifteen well armed bandits appeared right in front of their eyes. Everyone reached for their weapon getting ready to fight. Then what appeared to be the leader of the group came up to speak to them.

“Give us all your valuables and we shall let u live and we will grant you safe passage. If you do not follow my orders then you shall pay with your lives. Do not think that these are all of my men. You are completely surrounded by my forces. So what shall it be?”

“O joy now I have to fight-“

“Shut up you stupid sword. Sometimes I cannot stand you! So then my friends what shall it be?”

“Let us go and YOU shall live if you do not you shall pay with your life. Do you know who you are dealing with you-“

“Kill them!”

As the men unsheathed their weapons the enemy attacked. As the enemy attacked, poor defenseless Lokien ran dodging every swipe the enemy took at him.

“Lokien, take my other sword,” shouted Dreia as she tossed one of the many swords she carried. As Lokien caught the sword he jabbed the sword into the bandits gut and pulled it out at he fell lifelessly to the ground. Everyone else was holding their ground except Chanorph. Chanorph was well at least a half-mile back still pulling his overly filled backpack full of his favorite foods. Then reinforcements came and at the rate it was going it did not look good. An enraged Lokien jumped twenty feet in the air and sliced his enemy, followed by a spin of his sword taking out three more men. An astonished Sezorien and the rest took out the last few near them and stared in astonishment as Lokien sliced his way through the endless amount of bandits. Once they got out of shock they went back into battle with renewed hope. The enemies endless forces were cut down to just a petty twelve men, including the leader. The band took everyone out except the leader. He parried all of them out except Lokien. They then steped back and the man spoke.

“You over there. Yes you, I challenge you to a duel to the death.”

“I rather not fight. I only fight when the need be.”

“ Fight me or I shall kill this dwarf.” Out of now where he dashed to the side and pulled out a dwarf.

“You killed him!”

“No he is not dead, just faint. Now fight me or I will kill him. Fight me!”

As Lokien pulled out his weapon from the last bandit he had killed he got ready to fight. With a smile on his scarred face he pulled out his sword, which just by sight looked enchanted. It was made of black and red adamantine and the guard held a mystic orb in it. The bandit charged at Lokien at unbelivable speed and swiped at him only to miss.

“You see my friend, I am what people call an elf. Your speed can never match mine nor your poweress.” Growling the bandit spun only to miss again.

“Sword help me know.”

“Good-bye Welf you’re done for,” replied the sword. Screaming the bandit, Welf, raced towards him, only to know the pain of his own sword as it sliced at his masters’ throat. Walking to the sword, Lokien picked it up. Looking at it the sword began to speak.

“Hi, the names Rune, the greatest warrior in all the land, or so I was, until this evil mage trapped me. Trapped me in this retched blade. He goes by the name of Macin, the great. He overwhelmed me and well … did this to me. I shall grant you my equipment forged in the flames of a red dragon and enchanted by some of the greatest wizards and Gods known.”

Later that night, while resting from the hours of fighting…

“So, um Rune got any good stories to tell? I mean you said that you were a mighty warrior.” “Yes I do have one. The legends of the earth folk tell of an age of splendor, where mighty kings won glory and riches by the stroke of their singing blades, dragons lusted for hoarded gold, danger lurked in every corner of the Maugantius continent.”

“ Whats the Maugantius continent,” asked all sitting around the warm fire.

“It’s a continent north-East of here. That occursed mage has a tower up there if only you would help me… it is on the way to the Vortigern continent.”

“I swear I shall help you Rune. But you shall have to guide us,” responded Lokien. Mean while Chanorph had finished his over filled bag and had fallen asleep. Everything fell to a silence and they all laid on their backs and looked at the stars.

“So Sezorien, how in the world are we leaving Tremorinus?”

“We shall leave before the sun rises towards the forest. We need to go through the forest down to the coastline. There just in case of emergency we dock some of our best ships. This dock isn’t known to anyone and is magically guarded. We will be leaving on ‘Silver Lightning’, my personal ship. Then the rest will be left for our friend, Rune.” With that they continued some small talk and slowly they all fell asleep. Little did they know was that they were being watched the whole time.

I had woken up to the sound of scampering feet. I opened my eyes and looked around, not getting up. The fog was thick and my vision blurred. In the darkness could be seen bloody reed glowing eyes. Then I got up and drew my weapon and soon my companions followed. Soon more and more red glowing eyes appeared in the darkness.

“What are they,” I whispered to my comrades. After a long moment of silence, I heard Sezorien say Orc’s. Soon it seemed that even more of the eyes appeared. Soon it seemed that the night might become red.

“We cannot fight them in this fog and the darkness. The campfire is out. Does anyone have any suggestions,” whispered Dreia.

Thinking for an answer, I noticed Chanorph was still asleep. My goodness, he could have slept through the Dragon Invasion. Trying to come up with an answer, I remembered a tree was near our camp. Casting a spell of fire, I moved my hand to where the tree was and released it. As soon as the tree went aflame, the retched bodies to the eyes appeared. Shouting my battle cry, Mag-ashi, sorcerer. Charging into battle I jumped and in mid-air, Severed an Orcs head clean off. Landing I charged further more into a group of Orc and spun my blade around, cutting into the orcs stomach. Then I charged into another and I sliced upward cutting the chest and then I spun around slicing more Orc. Looking around it seemed Dreia was doing fine. She had chosen long distance combat. Throwing her two daggers with great precision, it seemed that she was unarmed. Then just before the Orcs got anywhere near her they reappeared in her hands. Looking around once more I noticed that Sezorien was down on the ground. AS I ran to him I noticed an arrow protruding from his back. Looking around to check that the coast was clear, I looked into his eyes. It seemed he was alive. As I looked at him again I knew that he might never move again. As he looked into mine he knew.

I got up and walked away. It seemed that even more Orc have come.

“God damn Orc! Now feel my wrath!”

With that he rose into the air and started firing balls of fire. Shooting fire and thunder at the orcs they were brought down to have half the amount of Orc. Lowering himself to ground level, he made his blade into a beam of fire, as long as a full-grown barbarian at seven foot. Charging at such speeds, he slid himself to a stop while standing and went after them. Still more came. They never seemed to end. Lokien stopped to think.

“Well Rune, got any suggestions? I am so tired I cannot walk anymore.”

“Concentrate your telekinesis powers unto me. I will do the rest.”

With that he listened and the sword rose up and out of his hands. Its crystal blade began to glow a deep red. In the blink of an eye the blade had launched and sliced several Orc heads off. Then it flew around flying through their guts. As the blade kept attacking all this was seen in first person from the blades view. Astonished Lokien tried to give more power to the blade, but he had not slept in many days. Soon he was engulfed in black and he fainted.

When he awoke he was surrounded by his companions.

“You know you are one hell of a person. Where did you learn to fight like that? How do you know how to use magic, “ his companions questioned.

“Do you know of the city of Magi-Kura. That is where I learned my skills and that is where most likely Dreia has gotten her daggers. Most magical items are crafted there. Thinking to myself I remembered my promise to Rune. I did not know how to break it to them that I have to go.

“You know, what happened to Sezorien?”

“Yes I do Eseelez. Is he ok? Is he dead?”

“No, but somehow we must take him to safety. His wound might be fatal. He cannot be of any use to us like this.”

“I have to go. I am sorry but I must leave you all. Most likely I will not return. So with that I shall take Sezorien to safety.”

“Where will you go,” questioned the group.

“I shall go first to fulfill my promise to Rune. On the way there I know of a few Elven friends. Then do not hate humans that much. They will take care of him.”

“I will not leave Sezorien. I will come with you Lokien,” Sting shouted at Lokien.

With that we said our good-byes. Walking away I wasn’t sure if I ever would see them again.

CHAPTER 2

Long days, long nights

Knowing that Sezorien was safe in Lokiens hands kept my mind set on the mission at hand. While I packed my bags the smells and sounds of summer could be hear. Looking up everything looked so peaceful, until the thought that we would fail came to mind. I knew that we couldn’t fail. Everything depended on it and it was hard for most to comprehend that. The people of Great City had survived and that was the only good news. Very few had been killed, including my soldiers, which were cut to pieces.

“All right. Bags packed everybody,” I questioned.

“All packed up over here,” Dreia responded.

“ All right so um… when's dinner,” Chanorph questioned as he rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. “So,” he asked again eyeing all his comrades.

“ Shut up Chanorph! Do not think with your stomach. Think with your balls! They always lead you to the right direction,” stated Aragra.

“O boy. I’m surrounded by idiots,” Dreia whispered to herself, while giving an exhausted look over at Aragra and her fool, brother.

“Well then, I guess were off. Don’t leave the dwarf behind. We have several miles ahead of us, so lets march,” I shouted.

We walked and walked until we came to a dead end. Whispering the password the illusion disappeared, revealing a massive wooden building. Inside the building everything was dusty and it looked more like the liar of a giant spider. We lit our torches and unsheathing our swords as we cut down the thick spider webs and continued. Walking onwards down the stairs, to the docks, you could tell the place was one of nobility. The walls were made of red oak and the borders of gold. The intricate curves and lines of gold swirled all over the walls. Coming to a quick clearing the massive ship could be seen. It was made of wood and adorned with gold. The front of the ship had a carving of a unicorn and it looked like it was made of ivory. What little light there was, was a small amount of light spilling from the roof of the huge cave. Onto the water as it glimmered.

“Its beautiful. It looks like it is elven made,” stated Dreia.

“Yes it is magnificent. From what I know this is elven-made, fast and smooth as water on a windless day. Its hull is supposedly made from the strongest wood in the world,” Eseelez answered.

“Ya, ya, its beautiful. Good perfect, now hmmm, lets see why were we here again? O ya maybe we came to take the damn thing. Come on what are you guys waiting for lets go already,” shouted Chanorph as he paced away toward the ship.

“The little one has a point you know,” stated Aragra as he followed Chanorph.

“I heard that,” shouted Chanorph from the distance.

With a laugh from both Dreia and I we followed, carrying the uncontious dwarf.

We walked up to the ship and began to go aboard. Putting down the dwarf scuttering could be heard. Then from one of the doors stepped out a huge spider the size a man. It was carrying Chanorph lifelessly in two of its six feet.

“It’s a Baster spider. Their supposedly gentle and only are aggressive when it comes to food,” I whispered to Dreia.

“ That would explain why it attacked Chanorph, that fat freek,” she answered back.

Then Dreia pulled out a piece of meat and threw it to the creature. It dropped Chanorph and we ran to his aid. In seconds the creature finished eating his meat. It turned around with its multitude of eyes stared at us. We instinctively got up and ran. Unsheathing our weapons once more, we turned around and faced our enemy.

“And this was supposed to be a gentle creature right,” Dreia sarcastically stated.

“Go for the legs,” I answered back staring at the points at which to attack.

We ran at the spider and cut its legs off with great ease. Then I came over it and stuck my sword through it. With a quick scream it died. Then like the ship had begun to sink, it shook.

“I think more are coming. A lot more,” Dreia stated with sadness.

I did not answer her but once more, unsheathed my sword. Then I reached over my back and unsheathed the next sword. Dreia was ready for the worst. She pulled out all four of her swords. Two in hand and the other two stuck into the deck for easier use. The magical daggers were still at her side. Then out of every entrance down into the cabin, poured out spiders. It was a lot, but they were not hard to kill. Charging at them we, as before, cut their legs first. Dreia went into a flurry of swings. She dropped her second sword and ran under one of the spiders. With one spin she knocked all six legs off. I took her strategy and also dropped my second sword, going into a flurry of spins. Within minutes the floor was littered with spiders. Then out of now where comes Aragra walking down the stairs.

“I think you’re a bit late, Aragra! We already killed everything on the ship,” shouted Dreia.

“Whatever. Anyway, I found the wheel. Its up stairs in a room,” responded Aragra.

“Well geeze! That must have been hard to figure out,” I shouted.

With the fighting over we headed back to Chanorph and put him below deck with the dwarf.

****

We had just left the Abyssal Mountains, when Sting spoke out.

“So where are we going again,” asked Sting.

“We are going to an elven city called Dreddin City,” answered Lokien.

“O ya now I remember. So what kind of elves live there? I never have heard of it. Then again I have not heard of many elven cities,” Sting continued.

“Well you might have heard about them if you learned about the War of Worlds.”

“Of course I heard of it. It’s the greatest war ever. Every single creature knows about it.”

“Yes, anyway these elves are called Dreddin Elves. Their power grows after each battle. If they do not fight they are weak and they die a young age. I am a Dreddin Elf and I am proud of it. We are a noble race and we thrive in times when none can. In times of war that is.”

“Well that is interesting, Lokien, but where is this Dreddin City?”
“That I cannot tell you. I am sorry, but that must remain a secret, because most would take us as abominations and then it might lead to trouble. Most of my race live as normal elves, but some reside at Dreddin City.”

“O, ok. Well anyway, have any good songs for travel. I cant remember any.”

“Well I know a few, but they are in elven. That might be hard for you to pronounce.”

“Ah forget about it. Lets just eat dinner and go to wherever Dreddin City is.”

With that we ate dinner and continued north through Doom Forest. Walking into the dark, creepy forest sent chills creeping down my spine. Something is in here, I thought to myself. We continued on into the forest, always looking around for some activity. Then something shook in the bushes. I unsheathed Rune to learn that it was a false alarm. A cute squirrel popped out of the bushes.

“Fwww, it was just a squirrel.”

“Lokien I think you need to calm down just a little. Hey look, I think it’s hungry. Should I give it some food?”

“Why not.”

Sting then reached into his bag and threw some food to the squirrel. He ate it up and just stayed there looking at us in a cute sort of way. Sting went to feed it with is hands and it did not run away. Then its eyes went blood red and it bit Sting tearing into him. I quickly started to cast a spell. Just before I was able to cast it, a tree came to life and started to wrap itself around me. Thinking quickly I remember the Telekinesis trick that Rune could do. I tried my best to think clearly, but the pain began to flood my thoughts. Then I saw a flash of light as a sword passed by me and cut the tree, setting my loose. I looked down at the ground at Sezorien as he strained to keep himself up on one knee. Ill take it from here, I told Sezorien. I unsheathed Rune and swung at the squirrel, missing by a long shot. The squirrel was fast, but I was the smarter one. I pulled out my magi blade and threw it at the squirrel. A second later we were charging out of the forest. Stings hand was bleeding badly and I thought that some poison must have been in the creatures’ body. When we left the forest, we dropped from exhaustion. I got up using what energy I had left and checked Stings injury out for Poison. I then saw a little black goo all over his hand. With not another thought in mind I cast a spell to vanquish the evil poison in him.

Later that night I walked down into the Cydnus River to wash myself clean of the sweat. It was a long day and I was sure it would get worse at times. Then from the north I saw a figure in the dark running at me. The creature was agile and stealthy. If I had not seen him, I would have not known him existence nearby. Then he came into better view and I knew it was an elf.


“ Lokien, its me, Rahlos.”

“Rahlos, my goodness. How did you find me.”

“Talos wished me to find you. He pointed the way for me. Come get dressed. We have a lot to catch up on.”

The rest of the night was one of stories of small wars that were fought between them and the evils that now have surfaced. Then I began to speak.

“Things must be going bad there. Yes Talos believes that when you arrive a war will be set upon Dreddin. Your being there will change the odds. You have what master calls, Zeeon. Humans call it potential.”

“Well let us hope he is not wrong this time.”

“Same here my good friend, same here.”

****

We were finally aboard the speeding ship, Silver Lightning. The cold air stung my eyes as I navigated the ship. The swooshing of the water hitting the boat was the only sound heard in the open sea. We had decided to sail westwards to the city of

Magi-Kura. There we would rest and replenish our stocks onboard. There after we would once again sail all the way to Doom Trench and climb up to Kalimen, to ready them for what fate met my city. It was early morning and a ruckus could be heard.

“The dwarfs awoken! The dwarfs awoken,” Chanorph shouted as things could be heard flying through the air and crashing into the walls. Then Chanorph came running up screaming exactly as he had done before. Instructing him to steer the ship strait, I left to greet the dwarf. As I went down the stairs Dreia came out of a room naked screaming, kill the damn thing. Then grunts could be heard in the room as the dwarf threw several things out of the room. I rolled across the entrance and got a good look at what he was doing. Then I found out. He was looking for his occursed axe. Then he came running out of the room, axe in hand. Screaming he chased after me, wildly swinging his axe. Then I tripped over something and fell face forward. As I turned around, lying on my back I saw the end of me. I closed my eyes and met death as it came out at me. Luckily Dreia was mad. I opened my eyes just in time to see Dreia screaming, You piece of urine and beating the living hell out of the dwarf. She swung hit after hit using her daggers hilt to bash his the dwarfs face. Soon blood started flying all over. I got up and stopped her.

When the dwarf woke up he grunted in pain. We had tied him down at the front of the ship, facing downwards at the water and as all of us knew dwarfs don’t like water and they HATE being off-land.

“Holy mother of god,” shouted the dwarf as he stared wide-eyed at the water.

“Why did you attack us,” I asked.

“I thought that I was a prisoner aboard this ship. Now set me loose before I puke,” shouted the grouchy dwarf.

As I set the dwarf loose he began to fall on the deck because of the shifting of the boat. “God damn ship,” grunted the dwarf. I sighed and whispered to myself, “This is going to be a long night.”

 

CHAPTER 3

The never ending dwarf

 

 

←- Chase NightKiller CH2 | ShapeShifter -→

DateNameComment 
19 Sep 2002:-) C. Michael Martin
Okay one, try and put your dialouge in different paragraphs. For instance. Instead of...

"I have a hundred dollars," said the man. "Well, I'm broke let me have some money," said the other man. "Get a job you freeloading pig!" "ME! Work! Never!" said the second man.

Do it like this...

"I have a hundred dollars," said the man.
"Well, I'm broke. Let me have some money," said the other man.
And so on... this doesn't look so good on here, just pick up any book and you will see what I mean about dialouge in seperate paragraphs. This will also help tell who is talking.

The other part has to do with your paragraphs, they are too long. Shorten them up a bit. Generally, a paragraph is normally a group of sentences talking about one idea.(or something like that anyway.)

Okay well that should be it for today. I'll read the rest either tomorrow or Friday.

:-) Omri Gottlib replies: "Thanks for the reply. Ill change it ASAP."
19 Sep 2002:-) C. Michael Martin
Well math took longer than I thought, so I won't be able to finish this one tonight. But I have a few comments already... I can see you have a lot of potential, your work reeks of it! I can see it just right under the surface. You just need to write more and read a lot more. Always read, best advice I ever got and you know where I got it from? From reading that's where.=O) And also listen to how people talk, that will help with dialouge, not so much what they say but how they say it and things like that. Be more descriptive in your writing(I'm one to talk about that, it's one of my main weaknesses.) And this last one is important, pay attention in English, get the grammar thing down. That will be a great benefit. Um... this is getting to long. I have a couple more things to say that will actually help you now. So I'll say them in the next comment.
26 Sep 200245 Kage E. Murphy
I agree with C. Mike there. Lots of potential, amazing ideas, and with practice your going to be great. Read as much as possible, that helps with ideas and writing style. I think the ideas is what matters. The idea is the heart of the story, and you have some great ideas, keep them coming! Grammer and spelling are not my strong points, I usually have my friends read them over first. And the entire Elfwood community of course...12

:-) Omri Gottlib replies: "Thanks for the comment Kage. Ill take your advice and read even more Drizzit Do Urden! ... and some other books. Anyways Thanks for the comment and keep on putting up more stuff."
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'Lokien:NeverEnding Wars':
 • Created by: :-) Omri Gottlib
 • Copyright: ©Omri Gottlib. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dark, Elf, Sword
 • Categories: Dragons, Drakes, Wyverns, etc, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 265

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