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Stories / Stories / Dan Shevock / Text 1 of 31 / Above

"Above" by Dan Shevock

SF&F Picture 1 out of 31 by Dan Shevock

A night sky and her lover.

A moon, half light, half dark.

An angel in the clouds flying right to left upon the night’s apt sails.

A dragon swiftly glides

Above

A wise saint, hands folded in supplication, observes the sky,

Moving to shade from light.

_a ring upon a sapling’s neck

_a crown upon our half-blood queen

Discarded refuge, floating.

A chorus of insectoid chants, bass & soprano, tenor & alto.

A white noise of fear, love, worship, birth and death!

One below, many above

Upon his back, the prince/consort watches// up always, in waiting.

His lanterns lit. waiting

For a tender kiss. waiting.

But he knows not for what he asks. Waiting.

A new valley he’d become… she’d fork into him like a drum, with membrane torn,

Death forlorn,

& mourn.

A moon, half white, half dark.

Upon the earth keeps watch.

Rejoice in want.

-Dan Shevock

←- Winged Temeluchus | Arathyn -→

Date	Name	Comment
10 Nov 2005	Elizabeth Wilcox	Loading... I like the format of this poem (lack thereof, really). It matches and emphasizes the confused, rather-hopeless waiting expressed in the poem. Underlining the title word (above) also adds a nice touch, though I rather expected it to be used more than twice . . . maybe I'm just one of those strange people who like odd numbers. There was one line that rather bothered me though, Upon his back, the prince/consort watches// up always, in waiting. The /'s seemed out of place--gave the poem an unfinished/just conceived feel. Anywho, I'm off to read another poem (I'm rather curious as to whether or not this is your set writing style) Dan Shevock replies: "two "above"s, one for the observer/writer, one for the subject, watching what is above. yeah, I didn't mean the two // together. maybe someone will read some meaning into that mistake though. thanks for the comments."
10 Nov 2005	Tasia MacKay	Loading... This is quite beautiful. Such lovely imagery. I like the concept too. Dan Shevock replies: "Thanks."
11 Nov 2005	Sophia Tula Rose Dique	Loading... Gorgeous imagery. But yes, as Elizabeth said - I don't really understand why the / are there. But, brilliant. I loved it. Dan Shevock replies: "thanks."
26 Nov 2005	Molly A. Marx	Loading... Insectoid chants, my favorite line hehe Dan Shevock replies: "lol, and I don't even think "insectoid" is a word. (never stopped me before though) btw, love your artwork esp. 'desert swan' 'wil green' and the hitchcock cover. I'm glad to have such quality artists reading my materials."
17 Dec 2005	Laura de Lange	Loading... WOW! Really nice imagery. I like poems because you can just do it, but this is really inspired.// Lovely! Dan Shevock replies: "Thanks."
30 Jan 2006	Norma Peters	Loading... Wonderful imagery. I love the intriguing construction of the poem, and your choice of words conjures such incredible magic. Dan Shevock replies: "Thanks, I'm happy you found the format intriguing. "
2 Feb 2006	Alinta Brown	Loading... Gorgeous description. Almost as if it was select memories. blink, a new scene and smell and atmosphere, blink and we move on to another. The last Stanza is just beautiful. Dan Shevock replies: "Excellent take. "Atmosphere," is exactly what I was aiming for. I was sitting on my porch taking in the atmosphere while composing this poem."
2 May 2007	Sarah-amy haley	Loading... Truly breath taking. I really loved the lines _a ring upon a sapling’s neck _a crown upon our half-blood queen. So beautiful, the rhythm and the concept, I think I loved everything about this poem! Amazing. Dan Shevock replies: "Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. "
3 May 2007	Désirée Dippenaar	Loading... I liked the imagery of this poem, also the sound imagery with the insects. The flow was also really good, and the use of words... ^^ Dan Shevock replies: "Thank you. I'm not sure why the flow worked well on this one, it wasn't one of my goals, but it does have a flow. If an unconscious one. "
10 Jul 2007	Joslyn Rubin	Loading... I really like this poem. Basically what everyone said before me, so i dont know how else to explain it. :-P Dan Shevock replies: "Thanks"