Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 93415 members, 31 online now.
  - 59350 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Kate "Silverfish" Jennings

"Fragment and Song" by Kate "Silverfish" Jennings

SF&F Picture 6 out of 9 by Kate "Silverfish" Jennings
 
Tag As Favorite
 
This is a fragment of a story-in-progress, put here mostly for the sake of the song, which keeps getting caught up in my stories. It is written to the tune of a very slow, sad easter hymn. Back to the story: Alondra is the main character, but the early scenes show her only through the eyes of others. In this case, it is the minstrel at her betrothal-feast. He is an unnamed character who has a history with Alondra's family, and uses Alondra to get back at her father... which is probably the best thing that could have happened to that rather miserable child (apart from, well, her parents loving her, having a happy childhood, you know).
Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
Alondra was a small and unlovely girl resplendent in a gown of pale blue wool with white vines at the wrists and hem, her red hair combed back close to her skull and braided into a long, rusty cord that hung down between sharp shoulder blades to the small of her back. She sat beside her mother, staring out on the hall with marble-blue eyes dark and wide in her blunt face.
The minstrel looked to the main table and saw, as few but he had ever done, as few but he could ever do, how very much like her mother the daughter was. He had seen the same expression, years before, on Ciela's face, and although Ciela was tall, black-haired, delicate and beautiful, he knew that beneath her carefully studied manners and graceful courtesies had once burned the same flame that now kindled Alondra's spirit. And Falcongreen, Lord Falcongreen, sat there solemn and respected, and blind, blind to the fire, and unaware of how easily he had quenched it, how carelessly he would do it again.
Later, when all had eaten and drunk their fill, the minstrel would be called to sing the light-hearted ballads and bawdy songs of the drinking hall, the rough dances beloved of a rough people, but now as the guestss sat and ate and spoke earnestly and long of treaties and weddings and long voyages to lands in the Colonies, lands which were but fearsome pictures on a map to most gathered there, he was free to sing as he pleased - love songs in honour of the betrothal, new, cultured songs from the court in Tzeran, little rhymes of life and heartbreak.
So he sang, largely ignored, barely touching his mind to the words of the songs, for they were neither complicated nor overly meaningful, gazing to the head of the hall and to the two families, Falcongreen and Gierlon. The Lord Gierlon sat in close conversation with Falcongreen as his lady spoke animatedly to Ciela. Ciela, pale and lovely, replied quietly, glancing from time to time at her daughter. The eldest of Gierlon's brood sat with his brothers and the other young men of Gierlon, and did not seem at all effected by his impending marriage.
The minstrel gathered his courage slowly, and turned from a merry "Song of Doves" to a sadder note, and an ancient song. It was one he had learned years before, from a girl who had journeyed far from the mountains of the West, and brought the song with her. It was a song of love, of loss, of time, a song like the welling of a sorrow for which there could never be comfort. It was not a song sung often at betrothal-feasts, but he played it now.

"Red are the trees that sleep above the river,
The age-old river that's flowing out for ever,
Never returning to your autumn's forest,
Going before us.

All down the river autumn's leaves are fading,
Where the old willows deep in tears are wading,
Down the brown waters, leave the hills behind us,
Still your songs find us.

Far from the mountains flows the ancient river,
And we must follow, leaving you forever,
Out through the lowlands, till we reach tomorrow,
Waking in sorrow.

Soon we'll be sailing over the horizon,
Out to the east where the young sun is rising,
Though he is setting where your children left you,
They'll not forget you." .

←- Evening, for Ella (poem) | Dark Nursery Rhymes (poem) -→

DateNameComment 
21 Mar 2003:-) Charles Mills Trowbridge
Very nice. Although I must admit, that when I see the words "bard" (or any of the other syninims) I rarly read on, in this case I was captured enough to want to continue.

The transition into a song was very nice, and I liked it alot. I think that is in part because you chose not to make it in ittalics, which can cause it to be difficult to read in large amounts. I still have a few critisisms however. The name falcongreen is really unweildy. It doesnt fall on my ears or tonge quite right, and quite to the contray or an alien sound, it simply ends up feeling like a mistake to me. Blue eyes, green man, red flowers. It's just how colors tends to be intigrated with words. I guess it's also that I cant see how Falcon's Green would make sense to shorten it. If the household took their name from where they aquired their wealth (such as the vast majority of last names), then it might make sense if it was Cowgreen, as cows tend to live in big green pastures. Falcons, on the other hand, simply dont. Some last names (such as mine) come from geographical places, mountants, towns, villages, ect. Falcon's Green doesnt seem like a very likly name of a town, and so it just throws the entire thing off for me.

I am not an expect, however on a different note I dont beleave (historically) there was much musical exchange between the common folk and the nobles. I'd love to be proved wroung, but I dont think a mistreal would ever play a bawdy song while there were noble ladies present. Well, even if that's true historically you could just say "not on my world", but, that's a total cop out excuse.

:-) Kate "Silverfish" Jennings replies: "Wow, thanks for the insights!
I know what you mean about bards and minstrels, and it makes it so hard when you need to have a musical character because all the words have such annoying connotations.
As far as "Falcongreen", the name originally came from the coat of arms, or a flag, and I liked it. It probably doesn't fit in here, you're right.
I don't know how "noble" these nobility actually are. I know I haven't shown it in this passage and I should have. They aren't terribly refined or overly wealthy - they're in a very distant, outlying province and life is rough there. Of course, the ladies may leave the room before that music begins! In the capital city and on noble estates, such songs would certainly not be sung in their presence - I imagine life would be substantially different. Falcongreen and Gierlon are probably only a generation or two removed from barbaric local warlords,"
3 May 2003:-) Charles Mills Trowbridge
"and long voyages to lands in the Colonies"
That line really doesnt jive up with the idea that this is lesser nobility, or that it's local stock that's only just started to be interbred with royal blood. Seems like a warlord-turned-courtier would be more concerned with boasting of how high his serf's crops have grown, or his son's military success in the hinderlands rather then lofty afairs like long voyages to his holdings in distant lands.
23 Sep 200345 Sarah
I'm speechless i wish i can write like that

:-) Kate "Silverfish" Jennings replies: "Oh, I forgot I posted this song - despite being horribly sentimental it is one of my own favourites (and singable, too!). I'm glad you like the fragment. Thanks for commenting."
14 Jan 200545 Mr L Falcongreen
Falcongreen is an appropriate name for a peer. It is a derivation or anglisisation of a scandinavian name bestowed in ancient times from the king of Denmark for honourable services rendered
25 Apr 2005:-) Amanda Nikese
I really like the bards song at then end. Nice work!
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



About 'Fragment and Song':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Kate "Silverfish" Jennings
 • Copyright: ©Kate "Silverfish" Jennings. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Girl, Lady, Princess, Marriage, Betrothal, Minstrel, Song
 • Categories: Romance, Emotion, Love, Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc
 • Views: 218


More by 'Kate "Silverfish" Jennings':
Melaine (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 1 (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 3 (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 4 (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 2 (poem)
Evening, for Ella (poem)
Dark Nursery Rhymes (poem)
Taking Wing (poem)

Related Tutorials:
  • 'Originality in Fantasy - Taking The Road Less Travelled' by :-)A.R. George
  • 'Creating Worlds' by :-)Emma Lydia Bates
  • 'The Deception of Description'
  • 'Description, Dialogue, & Action' by :-)Jessica Barnes
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]