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Kate "Silverfish" Jennings

"Taking Wing (poem)" by Kate "Silverfish" Jennings

SF&F Picture 9 out of 9 by Kate "Silverfish" Jennings
 
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A friend of mine was working on a series of stories about the fair folk who periodically enter and depart from our world - so I contributed this poem.
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TAKING WING

By Alda's gate where the willows weep
And the grey waters flowing
Brush the brink where the white stones sleep -
They are going, going, going.

By Lara's arch where the sparrows cry
Like shrill grey ghosts grieving
Beneath the clouds and the lowering sky -
They are leaving, leaving, leaving.

As the sun departs in the bitter north
From the season of cruel weather,
As the light departs from the fading sky
They are leaving us forever.

Autumn will come, and winter stay,
We'll never see the spring.
Green summers when we and the earth were strong
Are left in remembering.

On our children's children a star may rise
To tell of light's returning.
Our hopes are vanished before our eyes
Like smoke of bright leaves burning.

By Alda's gate where the willows weep
And the grey waters flowing
Brush the brink where the white stones sleep -
They are going, going, going.

←- Melaine (poem) | Songs of the Downtrodden 1 (poem) -→

DateNameComment 
21 Mar 2003:-) Charles Mills Trowbridge
"Like shrill grey ghosts grieving"

I would reccomend somthing in there to break up the alerteration. Although many teachers are very into using alerteration, I find that it takes the edge away from a peice, it softens it. I might reccomend "they're" between ghosts and grieving. There were some other points whenre you might want to check on line length to make shure that they all synch up right.

:-) Kate "Silverfish" Jennings replies: "I won't deny it needs work - it was an impromptu piece and has had one word changed since then. Maybe just "like shrill ghosts grieving"? Whether a fan of alliteration or not, it's virtually impossible to say quickly aloud .I take a perverse glee in writing these lines and being(through practice) the only one able to say them, but I'm probably the only one who appreciates that. I'm afraid I fell in love with Tolkien's "The Cat" (more assonance than alliteration) and it's had a very bad effect on me. "
9 Feb 2004:-) Colleen E. Cartwright
I think it's beautiful the way it is 2 nice work, I enjoyed it
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About 'Taking Wing (poem)':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Kate "Silverfish" Jennings
 • Copyright: ©Kate "Silverfish" Jennings. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Elf, Fairy, Faery, Fair, Leave, Depart, Go, Farewell, Fly, Elegy, Sad, Goodbye
 • Categories: Elf / Elves, Faery, Fay, Faeries, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc.
 • Views: 271


More by 'Kate "Silverfish" Jennings':
Songs of the Downtrodden 2 (poem)
Dark Nursery Rhymes (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 3 (poem)
Melaine (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 1 (poem)
Songs of the Downtrodden 4 (poem)
Fragment and Song
Evening, for Ella (poem)

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